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  • morning.

  • John Vidcon is next week.

  • So I'm super stressed out and not really ableto concentrate on anything in particular.

  • Nice thing, though, is that now I'm old And so I understand that this is happening and I know the solution.

  • Very weird animals.

  • Luckily, the Internet is almost as good at sharing weird animals as it is it sharing celebrity drama and reality destroying rage lies.

  • I realize this recently while on Twitter and seeing this very good water.

  • A noli.

  • It looks silvery because it has a thin bubble that clings to its super hydrophobic skin.

  • That bubble has oxygen diffusing into it, and then it exhales into the bubble and inhales newly oxygenated air, thus allowing it to standard water for more than 15 minutes.

  • So, John, I'm gonna start every once in a while, sharing with you.

  • Ah, bizarre beast of some sort to ease my own mind and maybe make us all feel better about our lives on this beautiful danger ball.

  • So let's start out with one of my faves, the Mola mola or the ocean Sunfish.

  • I love this fish, so but you may recognize them from this video.

  • That thing is big J.

  • What is that thing?

  • It looks hurt.

  • Or this video game way for from a viral Tumblr rant that I read from some philistine, claiming this thing is so worthless it doesn't realize it shouldn't exist.

  • Look you, that's not how this works.

  • Various species of sunfish are successful, and you know how I know that, Because they were doing just fine before we started accidentally ripping them out of the ocean with the rest of our fish cat and throwing a bunch of indigestible trash that looks exactly like their favorite food into the ocean.

  • And they eat jellyfish, which is also the favorite food off a lot of sea turtles.

  • Which made me think, if there's some convergent evolution going on here, because when you turn a modem on its side, it kind of has a very similar swimming style to a sea turtle, almost as if there's a good reason for this ridiculous shape.

  • And yes, I recognize that they look dumb in Taiwan.

  • They call them the fish that looks like a toppled car, and the Polish name for them is basically just ahead, which I I see it, but just because it looks funny, doesn't mean it's not a good fish brought.

  • They're the biggest of the bony fishes, and they get very, very big up to about 1000 kilograms.

  • Up until recently, we actually assumed from their lack of swim bladders, and they're very weird fins that they were themselves a kind of plankton, that they would just go wherever the ocean currents would take.

  • Except it turns out they can actually slim pretty fast.

  • In fact, the only people who have ever been hurt by sunfish were hurt when sunfish jumped out of the water and into a boat.

  • But that's when they're relatively young.

  • When they're less young, they are not very fat.

  • They're pretty slow, but because they don't need to be fast because they're so big and they have a company proportionate to their size of female adult sunfish can lay up to 300 wait for it 1,000,000 eggs, clarity that is more than the entire world population of adult sunfish.

  • Sunfish are called sunfish because they sun themselves.

  • They lay flat on the water, either toe warm themselves up so they can go back down deep and get cold again, or because they want Siegel's to come and peck worms off their side.

  • Maybe both.

  • Maybe neither.

  • But weirdly baby sunfish also kind of look like sons with, you know, like a super gross eyeball inside of them.

  • And they grow extremely fast.

  • The Monterey Bay Aquarium had a sunfish for 15 months that grew from £50 toe almost nine £100.

  • It was so big that couldn't fit it in the tank anymore.

  • So they had to airlift it by helicopter to freedom.

  • Birth to adulthood.

  • Mola mola increase in mass by more than 60 a 1,000,000 times.

  • And, John, they're skeletons look like very dangerous spaceships.

  • Yeah, I get that.

  • Other animals are cute and fuzzy and they look like they're smiling at you and Mola mola have their big, terrified eyes locked into a bumpy head and can't fully close their mouths and have huge amounts of parasites both in and around them.

  • But we have no idea what's going on in that big, dopey head body.

  • And I just want all of the mola mola in the world to know I love you.

  • You're doing great.

  • Keep being lumpy and magnificent.

  • John, I'll see you on Tuesday.

morning.

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