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  • Look, I know usually on Pi day I get all angry about how Pi is a terrible poser of a number

  • that gets too much undeserved attention from screaming fans who don't seem to realize

  • that PI IS THE LITERAL WORST

  • but manufactured outrage aside, we have bigger problems this year.

  • Sure many mathematicians agree that Pi is wrong, Tau is the beautiful number that speaks

  • naturally to circles and waves, but we can't change the past.

  • Pi might not be the number we want, but it's the number we got, and perhaps it's the

  • number we deserve

  • So, fine, last year's Pi Day was 3/14/15, that's 5 entire digits of pi which of course

  • only happens once a century so I can understand people being excited.

  • But what upsets me is that there is no such excitement for this year's pi day, even

  • though 3/14/16 is actually much closer to Pi.

  • And I mean Much closerthe next digit is a 9, which is a prettysignificant difference.

  • Some would say it's better to keep that dangling 5, a suggestion of possible continuation

  • unto the infinite.

  • For if you have 5, to avoid rounding up you MUST continue on to 9, but even then, you

  • can't stop there for what if the next digit is also a nine?

  • But no, it's a 2!

  • But once we have 2, what if it actually rounds to 3?

  • It does!

  • But we don't want to have to change our 3, so we basically HAVE to continue past that

  • 6, and so on and so forth until all these hypotheticals create the ideal and perfect

  • Pi in its entirety, forgetting that no matter what you may imagine should come after, you're

  • still stuck with the reality that all you have is 3.1415, which may represent Pi in

  • your head, but it is not pi, and while 3.1416 isn't pi either, it's much closer, it's

  • more useful in every practical sense, without the pretension of being something it's not.

  • People would rather have something that looks more like pi than something that is more like

  • pi.

  • Equality used to mean something, something more than the keeping up of appearances, of

  • paying lip service to every digit that you do show, rather than say:

  • Look, here is my rounded-up final digit.

  • You've all seen it, and I know it isn't the digit that you wanted.

  • I wish it could be a 5 followed by a 9 but I can't time travel to the year 1592 and bring

  • you back those glorious digits and I'm not going to pretend that I can.

  • And so I offer you this humble 6, a 6 that we can have, right here, right now, if only

  • you will join me in embracing practical truth over a nostalgia for something you never even

  • had, there has never been a Pi Day and there never will be a Pi Day, but this, this approximation,

  • good down to less than one one-hundred-thousandth place, this we can do.”

  • Together!”

  • But why not keep that 5 as a five if it makes people happy and gives dignity to a number

  • that is slowly slipping from its place as #1 cool math symbol?

  • What harm could it do?

  • If we admit that even Pi needs to be rounded sometimes, that it's not above the laws

  • of mathematics, we might lose something far worse than just almost an entire significant

  • digit's worth of accuracy, we lose a piece of mathematical culture, we pull an icon down

  • from its pedestal and are forced to confront the fact that it's just a number.

  • A sad, desperate number that will only ever be half the number it should be, a number

  • that shoulders the burden of hope for every mathematician who dreams of being seen by

  • our culture as more than just shufflers of numbers, we crave a symbol that captures the

  • peculiar beauty of mathematics, the spirit of the infinite and the unknown, and this

  • symbol becomes untouchable, even when it's like an entire 9 hundred-thousandths off from

  • what it represents;

  • Come on, Sheeple!

  • Anyway, I know we have our differences, but remember we're still 99.999% the same, so

  • I hope you'll join me in reaching across the aisle to wish a happy Pi Day even to those

  • you disagree with.

  • Or if not a happy Pi Day, at least a practical pi day.

  • And I will see you next year, for

  • Pi Day with a 7 on the end.

Look, I know usually on Pi day I get all angry about how Pi is a terrible poser of a number

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