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  • I imagine Sarah's very excited to be on Countdown.

  • Tonight's normally the only letters Georgie's get other ones from bailiffs.

  • I'll be very careful, people.

  • I don't You don't know anyone.

  • Not really.

  • Deep down various, when I'm around, physical, actual, like barriers sometimes is famous for not going out, as is Jon Richardson.

  • Congratulations to John's wife.

  • It took 12 long hours of pain, tears and drugs, but eventually John managed to get her pregnant.

  • 12 hours.

  • Wonderful.

  • Excellent.

  • 12 hours.

  • That's all I'll do in my lifetime.

  • All I knew about women is what?

  • Because I had never encountered make before.

  • I only knew what I had seen on adverts.

  • So sometimes I said, Well, it's a nice sunny day.

  • Why don't we go to the park and you can eat yogurt on a bench way into that roller blades I got for the days when she's on a special time gone untouched?

  • John is a writer, comedian, football fanatic, But perhaps the most surprising thing about John is that his wife still hasn't smothered him to death in his sleep.

  • Separate beds have you know, you've been getting more attention from the ladies since you've been winning on countdown.

  • Well, technically, yes.

  • It's gone from zero to walk in terms of the wider market.

  • Not really so much.

  • You've got your girlfriend after countdown.

  • I got everything.

  • Every good thing that has ever on after count.

  • Did she specifically say hi?

  • I saw your countdown, but what else could it didn't suddenly get a six pack out down.

  • Then I got a girlfriend to you.

  • Do?

  • The theme is the worst thing you ever did to your flatmates.

  • Well, that would be the time that I got so tired of cleaning the flat that while they were out, I tidied the flat and then left them an itemized bill.

  • Time minimum wage.

  • I don't want to overcharge the guys.

  • I learned that this shit doesn't happen for free.

  • Unusual thing about your body.

  • Someone's touched it.

  • My chest hair is sort of roughly heart shaped thing your match dot com profile.

  • Okay, that will do.

  • I mean, for weirdness.

  • I also have a little mole just in there.

  • You see that?

  • I don't know that people really hate it because they got we've got chocolate and I got mold.

  • It's really gross, isn't it?

  • Okay, so what we're gonna go for the chest.

  • Just stay where you shave it like that.

  • Do you just like that?

  • Like a sort of care bear.

  • 2011 John released a book about his quest for love before it.

  • He hadn't had a girlfriend in eight years on After he's not had a girlfriend for two years.

  • Some improvement there.

  • Jokes on New Jimmy because I have got a girlfriend.

  • What she must be made up.

  • Blown up girlfriend.

  • So for him, the long years of feeling lonely, disappointed and angry over, although for her they're only just beginning organise a well loved in extremely funny comedian best known for pulling She's literally the opposite of Jon Richardson.

  • Thing you've moved on, you've done to Sharon and still on the John is widely considered to be the life and soul of the party.

  • It's a party.

  • It's really more of a get together.

  • It's actually awake, joins the life and soul of it must be difficult for John's girlfriend today, someone with O.

  • C.

  • D.

  • Every time she gets turned on, John turns off again.

  • Theo, best one you've ever done.

  • It says here you keep £10.10 euros on you at all times in case of emergencies.

  • Why?

  • Well, I used to keep a condom in my wallet.

  • And then one day I bought a new wallet and I transferred the condom across, and I realized it was the same condom I transferred from the previous one.

  • And I realized that if I could erode leather quicker than I could have sex, it was more likely I would wake up in Europe and not know how I got there.

  • 10 years that I would instantly need to shack someone out.

  • Hope if they'd agreed that they would be willing to wait the two minute trip to the shop all the time I was here in Europe and Young About 10 year are Here it comes.

  • Meet me after the show.

  • Ah, annoyed Jimmy to be here this week, actually, because tonight's supposed to be my head night because I'm getting married.

  • Thing is what you mean to say?

  • You just said it was your hen night.

  • Unless stag night.

  • My friend's a working.

  • Would you believe working?

  • All of them.

  • So I've been out on my own.

  • You get invited on a lot of tattoos.

  • Yeah, being on a few attempt to get back early.

  • You have to share rooms on stag Do so.

  • I find if I get back early, I can have the key changed and then I get a good night's sleep.

  • I don't get invited on Stag Do's.

  • Jimmy is dedicated to his girlfriend.

  • She's a lovely, bubbly girl whose parents describe as missing John hates text speak.

  • The abbreviated spelling and poor grammar infuriate him.

  • And if John were to ever receive a text message, I imagine he'd be livid.

  • Do get text messages from Papa John's Pizza Hut and my back on you, Jimmy, because it's two for Tuesday.

  • Jon Richardson is a real man of the people.

  • And those people are the ones that wear cardigans and don't have any friends.

  • Yeah, they told me John recently got married while it was either that or pay the postage to send her back.

  • Now tell me, is that a joke about an inflatable girlfriend or a foreign bride?

  • Oh, we're sort of multi layers, okay?

  • Just think that it is not a real love.

  • I'll enjoy it twice, then Uh huh.

  • John gets before he comes on counter.

  • And I'm like that only taller might be an inch in it.

  • Yeah, I told you.

  • I don't think you want.

  • Would think if he was just being stupid.

  • What else can you do?

  • I mean, you're very good at Countdown.

  • What else can you do in 30 seconds?

  • Not that, actually a record.

  • I could count to 130 seconds.

  • Right?

  • Okay.

  • It's not much of a challenge for the way I got.

  • Plenty of time.

  • Why not?

  • Really?

  • Oh, you've just switched over from the Formula One strap in.

  • Because this is just check in with our mats.

  • Expert.

  • Rachel are their numbers up to 100?

  • Yeah.

  • Okay, Good.

  • You ready?

  • Jump.

  • Your time starts now.

  • 123456789 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 1920 2122 23 24 25 to 16.

  • 17 tonight.

  • Except for one or 23456 51 52 53 54 56789 60 61 60 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 77 76 79.

  • Tonto Really fucking embarrassed about house Really wanted that in a way that I hate about myself when the show ends, I'm going to try that again.

  • Upstairs.

  • Pathetic truth.

  • That is my existence.

  • If you're watching at home in your lonely, you could count to 100.

  • And sometimes when I blow my whistle any impingement of the rules, right?

  • So any bad language will be punishable.

  • Sexual touching will be.

  • What about destruction?

  • That will be down to my judgment.

  • And I am a sexual expert three times Now I want all three.

  • So, uh, you mean you came first?

  • Ah, you lucky mascot of any description.

  • Yeah, but it's not really a mascot.

  • When I was at primary school, I got given an award just for being extra special.

  • All these years, it's has awarded Thio did give that one with the fall.

  • I should be an extra special 1 20 years.

  • Look how good, Nick, did you ever wear the badge?

  • I was always stood on.

  • No, I've never taken the budget because they didn't want to perforate the card.

  • Look.

  • Att, John in the eighties.

  • No taste, John.

  • Interesting to use to be Chris Martin.

  • When we first met John.

  • He was living in her bed.

  • Sit in Bristol.

  • And may I just say it was the cleanest bed sit I for Avon and Somerset social Services have ever seen.

  • Then we moved in together a group of comedians into a shared house.

  • But John was I would not quite used to sharing yet.

  • So there was a negotiation about mass in which we would sort of go about our normal routine.

  • And John had these suddenly, just let's just have a anecdote for an anecdote daily.

  • You tell this story, and then Daddy will tell us you're never going to yourself as daddy have a child is now legally accurate.

  • Thes little out of nowhere.

  • You'd be doing something on a little northern.

  • Passive aggressive commentary would start.

  • Just start up so you'd be in the kitchen, and suddenly this voice would go right.

  • Is that where we keep the Coco Pops now?

  • Theo, wait.

  • I'll give you a clue, Jimmy.

  • Oh, you mean your toenail clipping his toenails intothe John, Once in a fit of pique.

  • I was very frustrated with himself.

  • I'm like, a lot of us do.

  • Wanted to take that out on a mug However, what John brought to that was he was so worried about the mess it would make.

  • He wrapped it in a T.

  • Tell Theo Johnny's as happy as Larry.

  • Unfortunately, Larry has had some very bad news.