Name: If You Had A Bad Childhood Her Horrible Story Can Help You
Uploaded: 2020-03-27T20:06:35.000Z
Duration: 26 min 33 s
Description: Thousands of YouTube videos with English-Chinese subtitles! Now you can learn to understand native speakers, expand your vocabulary, and improve your pronunciation...

To-infinitive

This is David Hoffman, filmmaker, and I put out the call to my subscribers to use me to tell their stories.

Past simple

I made a long video on it, and I've been getting videos from people who are courageous enough to give it a try.

Well, this is a video from Cara and Cara.

What a brave, beautiful person to tell this story, which is quite painful to watch.

But you feel Cara through it and you feel why she's doing this.

She wants others to benefit from what she is exposing about herself.

So when the universe calls, you better be ready.

And I mean that I've tried to write my memoirs before, and I'm one of those people where, like, there's so many weird, sad stories in it that it makes some people believe that it's a lie.

I mean, um ah, I wouldn't make it up, but anyway, but this is not about them.

This is for you out there who thinks it's too late or you've made too many mistakes or years who broken?

I always thought my mother, Karen, she was this beautiful exotic woman.

And she had this deep, all of skin, Egyptian make up and this frosted blond hair, petite body but muscular and every man would turn and look at her.

But unfortunately, she was also cursed with a a battle of mental in spiritually illness.

So while we did get this beautiful, beautiful Karen beautiful doll, she had overwhelming depression and honestly, who knows what?

I never thought she wanted me because I never remember her wanting me.

I remember my fourth or fifth birthday and, um, waking up on the weekend and you expect to see your parents there because it's your birthday and you're so excited.

And I remember seeing a German chocolate cake staring down at it with its stupid maraschino Cherries.

I hate German chocolate cake and hearing my mother say, I wish I had the doctor tie rope around my tummy so you wouldn't have been born.

Yeah, because even at that age, I looked too much like my dad.

I There is a level of jealousy, but also Hm like herself hate blood into teaching me that I was a burden.

I was thought that I was a burden or that the world did hate me and that I shouldn't be here.

But if you've ever had that feeling embedded in you, this is why I'm releasing this information.

So my husband got me German chocolate cake on one of my birthdays, and I'm sure he won't do that again.

And throat my life, Um, with my my family, my parents fighting one winter, my dad broke all the windows and they had this terrible fight.

I ran out to the sidewalk because I was always thinking about how I was embarrassed.

And Mrs r, who was my neighbor, was a Catholic elderly woman.

And she was just smoking a drag of her cigarette.

And But we could hear the windows bursting and breaking.

And I looked at her and I said, Mom and Dad are redecorating and she nodded.

Because she was saving my dignity, which is what I want.

In fact, it gets to a point in a violent childhood where you tend to be more embarrassed than afraid.

Um, it's so after my dad left, um, I turned into, like, this little Dr Phil or this little Dr Drew.

My mom would always say, uh, should I kill myself today?

And she would look in the mirror at her beauty and look for little wrinkles.

But most often it waas Should I kill myself today?

And then progressively, it became without show.

That will show me, Karen um, the world responsible.

So there was a lot of anger in that going back to one of the root causes besides genetic, huh?

He says what can happen in genetics, in drug use in alcoholism?

Um, when I was 11 months old, my mother's brother, her idol, placed his two week notice and he killed himself.

But he was there, this chosen one, like he was the oldest son.

And also my mother is Cem, my mother's hero.

That is when she wanted to stop living, because if her brother wouldn't came on, why would she?

So, by the time I was, um, 67 Um, she had asked me for a lot of dating advice, and she'd always picked these womanizers are these losers and they say, um, what's a mom?

You know, these people, this guy, he's a toy friend.

There was one in particular that I really didn't like.

And I tell some of my peoples who are divorced and dating again, that you gotta be careful.

They're sensing someone, and we didn't meet someone and he was a womanizer, and I tried to tell her that this person had many women around all the time, and we still have to go over there.

And I called him my Hitler because, you know, sure, I was abused at home and choked and, you know, Claude at.

But the way he treated me was different type of degrading, as if I was just a sturdy human being.

And then then when I was 11 it began that he started asking my mom.

I caught him asking because I wanted to be a detective.

And maybe in some ways, God or the universe wanted me to know.

I heard him asked my mother if I had ever been kissed yet.

And he was asking really weird questions like that.

I wanted to be like, moldering Scully on The X Files.

I wanted to be a scientist in a detective in an author and finally get good grades in school and get the heck out of a war.

A Colorado and heck out of the life I've known.

And just be happy, you know, maybe go to color at a state university.

And I had so many teachers who just they weren't I didn't recognize it.

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If You Had A Bad Childhood Her Horrible Story Can Help You

depression

impact

crave

treat