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  • - Hello, lovely people!

  • I'm Jessica, and you should subscribe

  • to this channel because reasons.

  • (dinging)

  • So this weekend, I have felt disgusting!

  • I've been really ill with a migraine

  • and thus spent long days in bed being gross and sweaty.

  • And, often when you are hit with the black cloud

  • of chronic migraine, sitting up is hard enough,

  • I mean, actually getting out of bed,

  • and having a bath, and putting on clothes,

  • is, it's not gonna happen.

  • So, but when I don't have nice hair and red lipstick

  • I just don't feel like me.

  • And, as you can tell from the title,

  • I decided that the only obvious course of action

  • is to give myself a makeover.

  • (chimes)

  • A vintage Barbie makeover!

  • (pops)

  • Not that kind of Barbie.

  • (pop)

  • Okay, no, really not that kind of Barbie.

  • (pop)

  • Still no. (pop)

  • Slightly closer?

  • (pop)

  • There we are.

  • Original Barbie first made her debut in 1959,

  • and thus celebrates her 60th birthday this year.

  • (cheers)

  • And she has done some amazing things in those years.

  • I'm completely skipping over the wow, pink,

  • the only thing little girls want

  • is to be pretty, obsession bit.

  • My mother was never a fan of heavily gendered toys

  • so I was only allowed Barbies if they were

  • a present for someone else, and I always make

  • one of my Barbies a cute tomboy who kissed the girly one,

  • who wore pink but was also the CEO of the world,

  • so teach your kids that girls can be anything

  • and they'll teach their toys the same.

  • This year is also pretty special,

  • because Barbie have released a doll

  • who uses a wheelchair as part of

  • their Barbie Fashionista line, which considering

  • many people still believe that disabled people

  • can't be fashionable, is really quite a big deal.

  • Mattel did previously release a Becky with a wheelchair

  • and whilst I really appreciate that being

  • the school photographer is her main selling point

  • and not so much the wheelchair, the poor girl

  • couldn't even fit into the Barbie dream house.

  • Her chunky chair, ugh.

  • The new Barbie comes with a ramp and a much cooler chair.

  • So I'm going to blend the newest Barbie

  • and the oldest Barbie for today's celebratory makeover

  • and we're going to start with my nails,

  • because they're terrible.

  • (whoosh)

  • Barbie has a very cute little bouncy ponytail

  • and curly bangs, and I don't have any type of fringe,

  • obviously, so we're going to have to fake one.

  • See you in the morning!

  • (snaps)

  • Let's see how my hair turned out.

  • Please ignore the fact that it is red.

  • Original Barbies actually only came with blonde

  • and brunette versions, and then redheads only came

  • in the early 2000s I think, with the Radiant

  • Redhead Barbie, but excitingly, redheads now come

  • in all different body shapes and colors,

  • which is more than can be said for the emojis.

  • Why is the redhead emoji just one thing?

  • Why can't she be a bride, why can't she

  • be a doctor or a princess or anything she wants to be?

  • No, being a redhead is all she is.

  • Oh, oh, oh.

  • All right, I think we're getting our nice little curls

  • that I wanted, delightful.

  • Alrighty, I haven't yet decided whether I'm gonna

  • brush these out.

  • So clearly slept in this.

  • It's fine.

  • Okay, I am gonna give this a little bit of a brush,

  • but only in the ponytail itself,

  • not its individual parts.

  • I don't really want to break these curls up.

  • Right, you know what this is missing?

  • Hairspray.

  • You know what I don't have in this room?

  • Hairspray?

  • You know what I can't spray when I've got my hearing aid in?

  • Hairspray.

  • Okay, let's make a fringe.

  • I really hope this has worked out.

  • Let's see.

  • Want to make sure we get this as curly as possible.

  • Yeah, I think that's a pretty good ringlet right there.

  • (upbeat rock music)

  • Yeah.

  • Ping.

  • Oh, oh delightful.

  • So good.

  • Oh, I could be a Victorian.

  • Never understood that hairstyle.

  • What were they thinking?

  • Anyway, we're gonna create the next bit

  • using some pins.

  • First off, just gonna brush the top here.

  • So that they can move together as one piece

  • rather looking too much like I rolled them separately.

  • So what I'm gonna do is on the first curl

  • I'm going to pin all together

  • and then separate them out from there, so,

  • split in two.

  • (rock music)

  • Beautiful.

  • Barbie's makeup has changed a lot over the years,

  • as have her eyes.

  • You'll note she's not even looking towards the front.

  • She didn't do that for two years

  • until after she was released.

  • She's got a little coy sideways glance there.

  • I'm kind of terrified of her blue eyeshadow,

  • can't lie, don't normally wear any kind of color up here

  • around the eyes, so that's gonna be new.

  • But you know what?

  • I'm going with it.

  • This is going to happen.

  • First, let's just pale all this skin out though.

  • I decided to use this completely new primer tester thing

  • that I just got given the other day,

  • because obviously a video is the best time

  • to decide to use something new.

  • It's yellow.

  • To be honest though, I'm pretty much

  • just playing dress up right now, so even if

  • it goes terribly wrong, it doesn't really matter

  • because I've still had my fun.

  • It's probably looking at makeup all the time,

  • rather than wanting to get it perfect and looking good,

  • like we're really just face painting.

  • Besides, no one else knows what you intended it to look like

  • so if you wanted to say that that was the effect

  • that you were going for, this patchy skin, well,

  • I intended that.

  • The whole oily forehead?

  • Yeah, yeah, I wanted that look.

  • It's dewy.

  • My eyebrows are two completely different shapes and colors?

  • Oh, I like that look.

  • (rock music)

  • Now for the bit I'm slightly scared of, the eyebrows.

  • Have you seen this girl's eyebrows?

  • They are worse than mine,

  • although she, she's got quite a look working for her,

  • so maybe my incredibly arched mini brows

  • will be good for once.

  • Well there we go, I guess one good thing about

  • a complete lack of brows is that you can really

  • make any shape you want.

  • That's not me advising you to shave off your eyebrows

  • or do anything like that, truly.

  • I mean mine just fell out naturally and anyone

  • who's got big eyebrows, I'm just so jealous.

  • I'm talking about eyebrows so much

  • because I'm really trying to put off the blue eyeshadow

  • but I guess it's happening now.

  • (rock music)

  • Well it's certainly blue, I'll tell you that for nothing.

  • Okay, yeah, hmm, ha-ha, okay.

  • Let's put put some eyeliner on,

  • maybe that will do something.

  • (rock music)

  • Okay, we have some beautiful blue lids,

  • but you may notice my face is white,

  • although be honest, Barbie is the queen of white,

  • is she not?

  • So let's add a little powder, some rouge.

  • (rock music)

  • All right, now to create some adorable little Barbie lips.

  • Yeah, I mean she has a big lip, way, way larger

  • than her bottom lip, so, I'm gonna work with that.

  • (rock music)

  • Well, I'm definitely getting some strong I Love Lucy vibes

  • but I don't hate it.

  • How do you think we measure up?

  • Adorable.

  • She didn't actually smile for a few more years, I'm afraid.

  • We tend to think of Barbie in terms of makeup and fashion,

  • but she's actually had about 150 careers at this point.

  • She's been a surgeon, a firefighter,

  • a paleontologist, a medic, a ballerina,

  • a nurse, a rockstar, and a dentist.

  • She also went to the moon before Neil Armstrong

  • and returned two more times, plus she has run for president

  • six times now.

  • You think she'd take a hint.

  • How do we feel about this makeup, how do we feel?

  • I'm not, I'm not sure how I feel,

  • but I believe in you Barbie, so let's go

  • put on some clothes.

  • So, original Barbie is not the most modest of ladies.

  • I see that coy look, young lady.

  • I know what you're working.

  • However, she did go on to have some rather nice outfits,

  • and I've always been a bit jealous.

  • Thankfully though, Unique Vintage

  • make vintage Barbie clothes in human size.

  • Meet this, the Barbie blue and white shopper.

  • (sighs)

  • You know, this dress is so pretty, it actually lulls me

  • into the idea, it's okay, still warm enough

  • to go outside with my shoulders uncovered.

  • (whoosh)

  • Oh my god, it is not warm enough.

  • I take it all back!

  • (old-time music)

  • So this is obviously the perfect dress for a sunny day,

  • and a sunny personality.

  • Okay, this one though, Fashion Luncheon Barbie, ooh.

  • This is the outfit that I like to wear to meetings.

  • And if anyone tells you that girls can't wear pink

  • whilst taking over the world, please remind them

  • that pink is originally a boy's color,

  • and the entire idea of gender hierarchy

  • is a social construct.

  • (old-time music)

  • Barbie's creator said that she wanted the dolls

  • to teach young girls there are no limits

  • to what they can be when they grow up.

  • (clears throat)

  • Okay, she's been a little controversial over the years.

  • Teen Talk Barbie caused a stir in 1992

  • when she blurted out lines like "can we ever

  • "have enough clothes" and "math class is tough."

  • Oh, honey, no.

  • Don't panic though, she has now moved into STEM.

  • She can code and she became a robotic engineer

  • along with her friends.

  • She also explores the world for National Geographic

  • which may possibly be my wife's dream job.

  • Speaking of which, next outfit, Varsity Barbie.

  • (old-time music)

  • Might not have an M for Mattel

  • but it's still pretty adorable.

  • You know, when I was a teenager, I wanted more than anything

  • to be a cheerleader, 'cause I felt really alone

  • and American teen movies are incredibly persuasive.

  • And finally, classy 1960s-style red flare swing coat!

  • (old-time music)

  • Good boy!

  • Oh, don't worry, my butler will get it.

  • And if you like your Barbie outfits

  • a little less WASP-y, you'll find that this gorgeous

  • pink fluff from Hell Bunny is just the ticket,

  • so much so that to celebrate hitting 600,000 subscribers,

  • I'm going to be giving it away to a lucky commenter.

  • All you have to do is write "pick me, Barbie"

  • along with your Instagram tag, in the comments below.

  • Make sure you're following me on Instagram

  • and I'll DM the winner on there, good luck.

  • Ah, Barbie is a stylish lady,

  • and she's still incredibly popular.

  • Two and a half more Barbies are sold every year

  • than babies born in the United States.

  • They're actually sold every three seconds,

  • and with the number of different outfits she wears,

  • Mattel is now one of the biggest clothing manufacturers

  • in the world.

  • Just some fun facts for your day.

  • Thank you for joining me in celebrating

  • my 600,000 subscribers and also just cheering myself up.

  • Happiness abounds.

  • Maybe it's even given you some inspiration

  • for this year's Halloween look.

  • If you want more joy in your life,

  • you should hit the subscribe button below,

  • and consider using the join button

  • to become a member of the Kellgren-Fozard Club,

  • and maybe even pick up some of my merch,

  • I mean it's not actually Barbie-related

  • but it's still adorable.

  • See you in my next video!

  • (old-time music)

- Hello, lovely people!

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