Name: Managing & protecting money in a relationship / marriage (real talk on personal finance)
Uploaded: 2020-03-27T18:46:40.000Z
Duration: 13 min 14 s
Description: Thousands of YouTube videos with English-Chinese subtitles! Now you can learn to understand native speakers, expand your vocabulary, and improve your pronunciation...

The imperative

And welcome back to coffee time with your host attack lead.

Past simple

Now, a week ago, I have made this video about how my wife just picked up everything and left and took my kid.

But I wanted to expand on this topic a little bit more to explain about how you can manage and protect your assets in a relationship.

It may be too late for me, actually, because it's all happened and I might be fleeced.

Necessarily before we get started, though, I do want to thank everybody for all of their kind, heartfelt words and comments, thoughts and prayers that you have been sending my way.

And the biggest message that I really wanted to get across is that fathers are important for Children.

I'm going to do a bit of Q and A at the end of the video, so stick around for that.

But the topic at hand is why is managing money important in a relationship?

And the reason is that at some point, even though you don't believe it now, you may find yourself married to a go to digger.

Nobody marries a go digger at first, you know everything is lovey dovey, and people love each other.

But as time goes on and the relationship sours, the your spouse may become a gold digger, and they're just out to take everything that they can.

People's senses of right and wrong is not based on the moral compass in this, based on the law.

So if the law says that you deserve half, you're going to go on and just take half, even though that may not necessarily be fair based on you know what, you have been contributing what you may deserve.

But people would just say, You know what?

If they're entitled to half, they're going to go and try and get that.

And then if they're entitled tomorrow, they're going to go and get that, too.

And the relationship can go south for so many different reasons, right?

Like maybe over time, the love just fades.

Maybe someone has an affair cheats on you.

There's geographical reasons, cultural reasons.

It could simply just be that two people, even on amicable terms, they just decide that they want to move on, even though that's there now, your assets could be at risk if you're not really managing it now.

What interesting thing is, when I was talking to my lawyer, he was telling me that this sort of case, where there's relationship psychos, our happened quite often in Silicon Valley simply because you have the successful workers.

They're extremely logical, and the way they think is almost like a computer program, right?

And then they marry somebody that is normal.

So then the relationship just doesn't really work out well, there's often issues with geographical location.

Just love people who come to Silicon Valley from other parts of the world, and then they leave their families behind.

So the serve scenario is actually quite relevant to tech.

It's just something that I think is not discussed so much, so here's what you need to know.

First of all, if you were to not get married, then it's so clean and clear about what's going on.

And so if you don't want the government involved in your relationship telling you how you need to manage your personal finance between each other, then simply not getting married is one potential option and you can still go through the whole ceremony, have a great time.

And it may even help your relationship because both people will need to still treat each other well, because there's no string time you guys together, anyone can still leave at any moment.

In my mind, that may actually help a relationship, because both people have to be working for each other every single day and treating each other well.

But let's pretend you are married or you're planning to get married.

The first thing you need to know is community property, for it's a separate property, so certain states like California have a rule about community property or separate property.

Some states, like New York, used something called equitable property.

But the idea is generally that once you get married, all of your assets income earned during that time from the day of marriage to day of separation that is split down the middle 50 50.

So any of your employment income, stock days, real estate things, maybe you're working on the site business that your spouse doesn't really support all of that in any case is still going to be cut down half 50 50.

If you start mixing your personal property with your stretch property, for example, you take all of the money that you had before the marriage takes, um, that you earned during the marriage, and then you buy a house with that.

That house may be categorized as commingled property.

It's just shared, and it could be divided 50 50 down the middle at some point.

So there are three ways to approach this.

Some people would say that you have a separate account for your own stuff, and you always keep that separate, and you never mix the two.

So when you get married, you can open up a new bank account that makes it very clear about where your separate and community property are split.

So where the system breaks down this, let's imagine you have a high income earner.

And she marries a poor waiter and supports him throughout two years of marriage, and then they split after that.

Well, in this scenario, all of the income earned during that time during those two years would be split 50 50 down the middle, all of her side businesses, stock, capital gains, real estate investments, anything that was there, and then the waiter would just be going off with maybe millions on his next journey.

Although he may get more, there's something called alimony.

The way this works is generally for half the duration of your marriage.

The breadwinner with have to support the other spouse by about half of their income.

So in this scenario where you have a couple who has been married for two years, even after they split, the higher income earner may still have to be paying the other spouse half of their income for another year, which could turn out to be a lot.

And the reason this is so messed up sort of is because let's talk about Silicon Valley.

In Silicon Valley, incomes are usually pretty high, but the cost of living is crazy, too.

But if you have one spouse who is continuing to work in Silicon Valley and they're paying half of their income to another spouse who has decided to leave, that other spouse could be living like a king or a queen in some other part of the country or the world, and then the person living and working in Silicon Valley with only half of their income, they would not be able to actually have a decent standard of living here because housing is just so ridiculous.

If you happen to have a child or even multiple Children, there is child support.

The way this works is you have to pay child support until the kids like age 18.

Pretty much the way this is calculated is you take a bunch of numbers like your income but the inside the computer program.

And then they will tell you how much you need to pay for me.

It's like three K a month, which I'm all for child support.

But I just kind of wonder, Why would a kid need three K a month?

That's like a 36 K income post tax money.

So in pretax terms is like a 50 taste salary, just the support kid, and it's like, What's that kid's going to spend all that money for?

So you can see how costs can really start to add up, especially as your marriage gets longer or if you have more Children.

And at some point, if you have a non working spouse, that's boss is going to have the option to just press this button in which they will be able to get years of alimony, tons of money.

It's kind of like a growing lottery ticket, and at that point they wouldn't have to ask for your permission on any of these purchases.

Like especially it say, if their parents start to get sick and they won, they use all of the funds to support their own parents and not your own Children.

If they wanted to write, they can just take control half of the assets and put the into their own parents and then take the remaining amount and put into their Children.

It's just whatever they care about that you may not necessarily care as much as they do I care about.

I would seriously look into a pre nup or post nup.

Now I know a lot people don't want to get prenup.

I did not want to get one myself, and I didn't because I just thought it would ruin the move you know, people are having a great time.

And you just think that the relationship will last forever.

Even though statistically, we all know, like half of marriages, maybe end up badly a prenup or posting up if you're not even able to talk about it with your spouse, right?

And if talking about this put your whole relationship at risk, you may want to think about if you're really ready for marriage because there are so many difficult other decisions that will happen down the road in a real relationship.

Instead of just thinking about which bar or restaurant you're gonna go to, what drinks you're gonna order which trip you're going to go on together, right?

Like everyone can put on a smile when times are good.

But it is when times are rough that you see someone's true nature and personality.

So I would recommend at least thinking about a prenup or posting up.

When you have that in hand, you know exactly what you're signing up for.

When you signed your marriage certificate and then maybe sir present, too.