I was going to have to be radically changed.

And I, um I was a person who became very, very angry.

And, um, you know, certainly after the killing of Dr King and earlier, you know, the killing of Malcolm and, um, the riots, while knowing that was knows no answer.

Um, I really I really understood that.

And there was a part of me that really supported it.

I mean, you know, even though well, certainly in fact, in in New York, I was in New York when Dr King was killed and I was downtown because I was working for the National Council of Negro Women and we were meeting in midtown Manhattan when the word came and I I was so alienated at that moment from being, you know, in white America.

And I can't remember we were staying at a hotel because we're having ah staff meeting.

And I was the Midwest regional coordinator for a project called Woman Power.

And ah, we were all there, and I don't recall if anybody went with me, but I immediately went up to Harlem, got on a a subway and went up to Harlem, and I had nowhere to go up there.

But of course, people have begun coming out on the streets and rioting.

And so I just stayed out there all night with the people.

We were just, you know, I mean, I never did anything but just stay with the crowds.

That would just sort of And, you know, I watch people breaking out the windows and taking the appliances out on 125th Street and the looting.

And and so I just ran with the people who were doing it.

Ah, and it was It was my my way of of rebellion joining the rebellion and, uh, identifying with the rage my own rage mingling in, um, with the with the rage and, you know, running between buildings.

And we were out there all night, you know?

And I went I didn't go back down to midtown until the next morning, but it was It was just, um it really was a feeling of, uh, helplessness to so that, uh, you know, he was dead.

What could you do but just just show rage you know, that's how I felt.

You couldn't bring him back.

It was already gone.

And it was, um it was so awful.

I just can't remember feeling so much rage and so much helplessness at the same time.

Um, and certainly from that point on, um, I was very interested in hearing about from these groups that were planning things like there was this group called the Republic of New Africa who said, You know, let's give us five states.

Ah, and little the ah, black people live in those states and set up an independent nation.

So, you know, I went to I don't think I got to their founding convention, but I went to several of their national meetings.

Ah, I also would go and here, um, to the Nation of Islam and hear what the teachings there, you know, which was again about separate.

Because I I've really despaired that there was ever gonna be away for, um, black people to get any justice in this society.

So I had I came to that point of feeling that may be separation out is the only way reparations on dhe taking those reparations toe a separate plan Mass.

Um, And then there were always groups talking about going back to Africa.

And so I looked into that, you know?

And, uh so that's for period, Where my head waas that, uh, there's no way to ah get justice here.

It'll never happen.

And certainly the Vietnam ah, war was another factor, you know, And the fact that so many black men were dying there.

And then, of course, the person, uh, do my was married was one of those snake people who refused to go in Mike Simmons along with Cleve Sellers and some others.

And, of course, they all went to prison.

And so I I went through that whole period of, you know, going to cord and going sitting through the trial of my ex husband.

And, you know, the position he took was that he was working in the civil rights movement, and he should not be asked to leave that work to go and give freedom.

Quote unquote two people in Vietnam when he was saying on the witness that I don't have freedom here.

I'm working in Arkansas.

I've worked in in Georgia with my own people.

We don't have freedom and you expect me to pick up a gun and possibly died to give freedom to somebody?

Ah, halfway around the world.

You know, that was his his position.

And of course, uh, it was one that carried no weight, and he was sentenced to three and 1/2 years.

Um, so that was there was another piece of my rage and anger.

And of course, he did Three years and Louis for Federal penitentiary.