Name: Trump’s Big Plan To “Pack Churches” On Easter | The Daily Social Distancing Show
Uploaded: 2020-03-27T17:51:24.000Z
Duration: 13 min 3 s
Description: Thousands of YouTube videos with English-Chinese subtitles! Now you can learn to understand native speakers, expand your vocabulary, and improve your pronunciation...

Hey, everybody, Trevor Noah here with another episode of

It is now day 13 of being stuck in the house

For instance, here's a tip to help you in quarantine.

If you're alone and you're feeling lonely,

stack them on your couch and now you have a friend.

the royal family is getting personal with coronavirus

and Donald Trump teaches us about manners.

Welcome to The Daily Social Distancing Show.

-♪ ♪ -ANNOUNCER: From Trevor's couch in New York City

to your couch somewhere in the world, this is

The Daily Social Distancing Show With Trevor Noah.

This morning Republicans and Democrats in the Senate

reached a deal to pump two trillion dollars

into the economy to help deal with this pandemic.

It is the biggest stimulus in United States history,

and it basically spreads money everywhere.

Direct payments to Americans, expanded unemployment insurance,

aid to small businesses, aid to the airline industry

the health care industry, which is vital right now.

And I know a lot of people out there are desperate

for toilet paper, but please do not use those checks

you cash the check and then you take the cash

and you go to the toilet and you wipe your ass.

But now you-now you know. If you were-if you were

already doing it, you were too fast, I can't help you.

Now, apparently Democrats and Republicans only managed

to reach a deal after they agreed that they were

going to include an oversight committee to make sure

that all of this money is being spent appropriately. Right?

And there's also a provision that blocks bailout money

Imagine that, hmm? In fact, just take a second

to appreciate how strange it is that lawmakers felt that

they needed to write in that the president cannot use this money

for himself and his family. And even Republicans were like,

"Yeah, yeah, no, you're right, we should include that.

We should include that." Because, don't forget,

from a small business recovery program after 9/11.

And even with this restriction, I bet Trump will find a loophole

to try and get some of this money. He'll be like,

"Oh, damn, Dad, is this a plan to get that bailout money?"

"No, this is just something I've always wanted."

In more good news, the Chinese government has announced

that there has been so much improvement in Wuhan--

the place where this whole epidemic began--

Yeah. So, basically, coronavirus is like TikTok--

it started in China but it's blowing up in America.

Yeah, they're just gonna be holding press conferences like,

to prevent the America virus from coming in."

"The America virus?" "Yeah, that's how it works, right?

"You name it after where it is, 'cause it not in Wuhan anymore.

But this news out of Wuhan gives me hope, because it shows

that the coronavirus can be beaten. Right?

All you need to do is wash your hands, social distance

that can force you to do whatever they want.

Yeah, because meanwhile, in America, people are like,

"If I want to lick a toilet seat, it's my God-given right

and China seems to have coronavirus under control.

Now, we need a little bit of good news every day,