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  • Hello.

  • Um, Eugenia, there is no, like, physical way to contact you right now.

  • I know you're asking for privacy.

  • I don't even know if you're going to see this video.

  • But I do hope you see this video.

  • Um, eventually.

  • I just want to let you know that myself and so many others are rooting for you.

  • We care about you.

  • We love you.

  • And I truly hope the best for you.

  • And I'm so excited to see if you choose to share your journey.

  • Um, of what can be a very beautiful thing.

  • I want you to all take a look at these pictures.

  • So these photos we're looking at are from popular YouTube star Eugenia.

  • Her physical parents has sparked a wildfire of controversy.

  • Next up is someone that people want change.

  • Focus on immediately.

  • I'm talking about Eugenia Cooney.

  • Shane Dawson.

  • Please do a series on Eugenia Cooney.

  • There are so many questions from everyone that need to be answered.

  • I feel for her, I but she does not look good.

  • I mean, from a professional standpoint, I mean, she really looks emaciated.

  • You're my favorite skeleton girl.

  • Well, thank you.

  • Thank you, SSL.

  • I'll be a skeleton girl.

  • Skeletons are cool.

  • So thank you.

  • Huh?

  • What makes me happy?

  • Well, coming in here, talking to you guys makes me happy.

  • What happened with me?

  • I don't know what happened to me.

  • What do you mean?

  • What do the three meals a day challenges that challenge?

  • Guys, I'm really only subscribe because I'm waiting for yourself or die in starvation.

  • And what is that?

  • All somebody's user names.

  • Whatever.

  • Though you just wanna have, like, weird bad anyways, So obviously I don't want to go there.

  • I'm aware.

  • I know I owe so bad here.

  • I really do care about you, Gina.

  • Thank you.

  • I'm really worried for you and scared.

  • Oh, no.

  • Anything happens to you.

  • I'm very serious, E Like I feel like I'm sorry.

  • Although Eugenia herself has never admitted to anorexia or bulimia.

  • She has 4 to 2000 followers on Instagram.

  • And I guess some of her followers have admitted that they're jealous of her thin Look.

  • Your stomach is so what Oh, really like I've never tried to come on here like tell you guys like, Okay, this is my size.

  • And this should be your size too.

  • Well, I'm sure.

  • I'm sure you were gorgeous.

  • I'm sure everything about you, not one but four petitions have gone out there to shut down her social media accounts due to what those folks believe is her dangerous influence that she could be having on those potentially battling eating disorders.

  • I feel bad about everything.

  • Like, I don't know, like everyone that is mad at me.

  • No, I really don't mean the menu.

  • Guys upset ever, right?

  • Like, I just hope you understand that I never mean to, like, make people set like ever.

  • Do I really bad?

  • I know it doesn't seem like it, but I d'oh All right, Jane, this may be the one that I'm rooting for the most.

  • I'm invested.

  • Okay, So, Andrews, honest way, and we're going to be going thio Jenna Cooney's house.

  • Let me start from the beginning for maybe some of you guys that don't know like, first time on here.

  • I don't know what else to do, so But I have, like, this fellow over here, just in case you guys care.

  • So she started to six years ago, seven years ago.

  • Hi, guys.

  • As you can hopefully tell, I just got a new camera.

  • Ever since, she has been visibly thin, and as the years went on, she got lunch dinner and she never really talked about it.

  • Never went into detail, denied having an eating disorder.

  • You actually get a year's a history behind it.

  • There isn't really a story.

  • This is just kind of how my body is fully fine.

  • So don't worry.

  • I'm not like it or accept whatever.

  • I'm just kind of naturally skinny.

  • So you see, my doctor like, thinks I'm fine.

  • There's nothing wrong.

  • You're killing yourself.

  • I'm really not killing myself.

  • But she was confronted with it a lot.

  • I mean, every single comment on channel.

  • So many videos about weight, about how she's making other young girls want to be anorexic because of her.

  • And obviously there was.

  • A lot of people were using the situation for views for clicks, and you guys enjoy this video and what Eugene you to get healthy population on this video.

  • But then there was also a lot of people who care who wanted her to get help, people who are actually nice to her and are worried about her care about her.

  • You are young enough to turn this all around, Eugenia, I really hope you're okay.

  • I don't want to see somebody so good and kind and caring.

  • Just disappear.

  • So back in January, she posted a video and people were really scared for her.

  • And then she kind of disappeared with some believing she had passed away as her uploads got more spaced out.

  • And I think we all knew how things looked.

  • So I Yeah, I was freaking out.

  • Um, so I reached out to her, and she was like, I've been dealing with stuff, but I gonna get help.

  • And that was like, she's never, never, ever said that, you know, like, it was one of those things where she likes Can you document your road to recovery?

  • It would help a lot of people, you know, like in, like, recovery or anything like that.

  • Like I really like.

  • I don't really feel like I have to, like, go get help right now or anything, you know?

  • So for her to say that to me, I was like Like I just started crying.

  • And I was just My God, this is it.

  • 24 year old Eugenia Cooney announces she will be taking a break from YouTube and social media to focus on her health.

  • So now that she's out of her, wants to tell her story and she trusts me and knows that I love her.

  • So we're gonna do this right?

  • My hope and her hope is that this could help people.

  • So that's why we're doing this.

  • And I want to make sure I can somehow help come back and feel comfortable and hopefully have a chance to start this.

  • To me, feels like the most important thing I've ever done, like it feels very much like this is like, I don't want this.

  • I want I want to do this right?

  • Okay, let's do this.

  • You can tell what gets the most views.

  • A lot of videos that show her body.

  • Those are the ones that get the most views and, as a youtuber know, seeing comments of people going, just eat a burger on negligent by not addressing it.

  • If young people are going to watch her videos and potentially want to be first to come back to the question we've talked about in several different avenues, when is a creator?

  • When is a person responsible for what their audience.

  • Don't love.

  • Know what you think?

  • And one Hi there.

  • It's Katie again.

  • More.

  • We keep things secret, the more power they have over us because the one thing we don't want to do is not talk about it.

  • They can really be helpful for you to understand what they're experiencing summer room so that you could be better equipped to be supportive and not intrusive way.

  • Want to open the door for more conversation?

  • You don't want to force it.

  • And you don't want your daughter to feel like you're just hounding her.

  • Because what that does is it makes us retreat more, makes us worry.

  • And then we think that all your noticing all you care about is the food.

  • And it's not about.

  • It's actually about managing our emotions in a more healthy, constructive way because we need everybody involved to give us a great great support system to get a healthy mind in a healthy body.

  • Give a talk, wears person.

  • What are you doing?

  • No, don't do that.

  • What are you doing?

  • You're doing all right, guys.

  • Well, I'm really sorry.

  • I'm gonna go, So I know her lawyer is coming for a second.

  • But that's just because we have a release form that like to make sure you want a viable.

  • And I also don't want people think like I'm comment like, I know that she hasn't even just like, you know.

  • But I can tell you that our people often assume the units are only looking.

  • One way that is in disorder is just when people are too skinny and they need to eat a sandwich, get over it like that's what you hear.

  • Like that's, like complete misconception.

  • Admit right again nothing eating disorders are coping skills.

  • You know, this how to cope with what I'm going through.

  • So I'm just using food as a way to deal too much so But I don't know.

  • I don't know her story.

  • That something, too.

  • I don't think anybody really does.

  • You know, I don't know.

  • I have a lot of Okay, so I have a lot of questions about howto do this right and also like, not trigger people watching balls over her like cooking.

  • For example, if I walk in and like, I haven't seen her, if she don't come in, okay, Just pretend that sort of thing.

  • Okay, that's a man like, even if I was like, Oh, my God, you look so good.

  • You like That's gonna look like shit before, Like your brains like cakes.

  • Or if you're like, Oh, you look so healthy.

  • Her brain looks like you already did that to her because fuck pick.

  • So picture leaked.

  • So I was scrolling through Twitter, and I saw this picture of you Gina Cooney a few weeks ago.

  • And yo, that girl seems like she's actually recovering.

  • People were excited and they were posting, you know, kind of like getting, and I even sent her a text, and I was just like, hey, like, oh, my God, Like I cried looking the picture like, you look so healthy, so good.

  • I'm so proud of you.

  • Just don't thank you.

  • Like I didn't know he was gonna post that like whatever.

  • And now I'm like, Oh, fuck, you know that.

  • I mean, it was with the best intentions and people say stuff like that all the time.

  • I just know from my patients and viewers alike that, like Yuri deserters takes the information and turn it into an insult.

  • But that's not your fault.

  • You don't weigh just want to stay away from, like, any comment on how they look, which I know just it's hard, especially if you're like, Oh, my God, you look so good And we mean it in a very earnest like I'm so happy for you.

  • I was really worried away, but it could just be misconstrued taken into, like, eating disorder chaos e guess I just have so many questions.

  • That something to you.

  • I guess I'll just see how it goes like so many questions, just personally.

  • But I don't know which ones are over 70.

  • I don't get Why didn't she say things for so long?

  • Why was she suddenly all these people think you're You're such a horrible person.

  • But no, I don't find it years.

  • I want to know.

  • How did she do so much like, I don't know.

  • That's triggering to say that, but like I mean, she was walking.

  • She was holding a camera.

  • She was like running around high energy, happy all the time like she's what you saw.

  • Camera, though You mean like a lot of my patients who are underweight not doing well can do a lot in a short period of time you're pretty much running on adrenaline, and a lot of times when we have a meeting disorder that causes us to be underweight, our body runs on that.

  • I just assumed that was what was going on.

  • I don't know, but that might be why she was able to do more than way would think.

  • But I mean asking her that you could say, I mean, maybe the way to phrase things, first of all, talking to her time, seeing what she's comfortable sharing.

  • But I think maybe the way to phrase things is like, not how are you able to do X y Z?

  • It's more like Was it difficult keeping up with things?

  • Or was it easy versus like, this seems impossible.

  • That could be like I don't know, You know, she might not be so comfortable.

  • I don't know.

  • One thing I noticed while I was looking at all the videos on, I guess I'll find out when I see her tomorrow.

  • But like she changes her voice a lot.

  • Hi, guys, Eugenia.

  • So, like when I was going through, I was seeing like old videos where she had a deep voice.

  • Make sure you subscribe to my channel, if you haven't yet.

  • And then as the years went on, her voice got fire.

  • I just kind of got more, more like a character or something.

  • So I don't know Tomorrow if I'm gonna meet your real self, all the walls down, just being herself, I feel like a lot of people help them out, which is wonderful.

  • Or if I'm gonna meet character, I kind of like, not necessarily even like, which maybe is a coping thing.

  • I mean.

  • And also we can say that like most of us have, like on persona.

  • And we're feeling really Let's say you're sick and feeling like shit.

  • You know, you have to fill, you're gonna get a little more amped.

  • And I'm sure she's just trying to get more amped for it.

  • So I don't know.

  • It depends on how she's how she's doing and how comfortable she feels.

  • She might feel really uncomfortable put on, you know, the persona, which is fair.

  • I mean, the first time she's talking about it, and I should bring.

  • That's just her doing the best she can, you know.

  • But I would assume it's because it's hard, like we know It's hard she's doing.

  • I can't imagine sharing their personal of a story because people do want to hear your story, right?

  • It's not It's not too soon.

  • I know.

  • I mean, it's a lot to her.

  • Honestly, no one knows when it's okay for someone to tell something other than the person telling If she's been wanting to which it sounds like she has for a while, I think that's all good.

  • I don't want it.

  • I guess I'm just nervous toe like, Well, if I could interject for a second.

  • She said that she wanted you to, like, help her with this, right?

  • So you're just doing your best.

  • And you're just being there for her.

  • So yeah, I think if anybody could do it like you could, cause you know, like you've been there yourself.

  • Okay, Let me set you down, See if I can.

  • Here we go.

  • Hey, this is kind of weird.

  • She probably feels safer doing that with you, you know, versus on her own.

  • Yeah.

  • I think it would be helpful for people to see and hear about it from someone in it, you know, and to know that recovery is possible.

  • That's quote.

  • Yeah.

  • Okay.

  • What is that, you blueberry yesterday when I was, like, really doing research and just watching all of her older videos now, just like, Oh, my God, this is so intense.

  • And what am I doing?

  • Should I be the person doing this?

  • Like I'm not hope for?

  • I'm not Dr Phil.

  • Who's here?

  • Oprah.

  • Dr.

  • Phil Flavored eyes.

  • Something must be wrong.

  • I was just saying how last night I freaked out about everything.

  • I almost thought like mediation to this.

  • I think it will be okay.

  • I mean, you should be more nervous than anybody you literally have been apart of like he, you know that He used to be on a news channel and they talked about Eugenia, and they made two videos, and the female Titan was bad.

  • I mean, is Eugenia Cockney shocked?

  • Emoji fucking emoji.

  • Booth.

  • I woke up today and I was like, You know what?

  • Aside from the eating disorder, stop.

  • I just want to know what like this.

  • Okay.

  • Her house.

  • What is that?

  • The bedroom.

  • The iconic bedroom.

  • But that's all we've seen.

  • I think in her videos that we've been seeing the rest of the house but he's very environment like I can't even imagine her walking around the house.

  • She literally lows and not because of her weight, but because of her vibe like a Tim Burger.

  • But she just like, Does she wake up like that?

  • Does she float down the stairs and she just like Tree comes out?

  • You know me so I can see that.

  • That's what he's like.

  • Yeah, I guess nobody really focuses on that.

  • Does have, like, a very specific aesthetic when she's also too nice, she's probably hiding something.

  • Oh, my God turned into that.

  • You're better.

  • What?

  • Dragger?

  • Okay, it's gonna get serious, I know that, But until it does so we're going to change Tony's house.

  • I don't know what to expect.

  • This is crazy.

  • No, it's good.

  • The question is, is genius.

  • Me too skinny?

  • Is it okay for an audience to tell a youtuber or personality way over stepping down?

  • I think, don't you?

  • My question is, though, as a youtuber, your job is to make everyone feel like they are your best friend.

  • And when you do that to people, they feel like they have leverage on your life and can have an opinion on who you are, what you do.

  • I just want to fund a way to get my So I feel like everyone feels like they have a say in her life, and they genuinely want her to get help.

  • No, I started when I was 15.

  • Some friends went in.

  • Did it manifests itself?

  • It just wasn't good enough.

  • Maybe that's how it always was.

  • I got a lot of figuring out because I gotta figure it out because I gotta make it means get out.

  • I just want to get from people.

  • Get on the Internet, get become brain confined.

  • And it's trying to fix it that way.

  • She's recovering.

  • Bye, genius.

  • Yeah, a little bit like she's never heard her say Perfect.

  • Thank you.

  • If there is a problem, what could be a great example for everyone that watches her channel is that she went into it in the public eye.

  • Kind of encourage other people to do so as well.

  • I gotta make it things.

  • Get out of the way.

  • How are you?

  • Oh, thank you.

  • You're sure Looks yes.

  • This is our house.

  • This is E actually.

  • Really?

  • I don't think Did I ever showed it like once, but this is like a thank you.

  • I like I like this one.

  • So let me take this, okay?

  • Not like I have family around stuff.

  • It's like my brother.

  • Yeah.

  • Yeah, I guess you're gonna get a little privacy.

  • Yeah, yeah, yeah.

  • E c fan girling.

  • Yeah, I'm already here.

  • Oh, wait.

  • That actually, you know, just kind of came with.

  • So became like that.

  • Yeah.

  • Just came like that.

  • Would you like this?

  • So they seem But, like, you really felt nothing like it's like the lawyer or something.

  • No, this is gonna take a turn.

  • Actually, one day we have like, man, I opened the door.

  • I was like, Hey, I don't know what we want It.

  • I was, like, really confused.

  • And then she thought, like the furniture was his.

  • Somehow he thought that he was the owner before, I guess.

  • Sorry.

  • Story is not your wait.

  • Your whole house is like a easy like dole house, like, Oh, thank you.

  • She loves she likes him and go because we've replaced back in Connecticut, so Yeah, but really close.

  • So she's Yeah.

  • Yeah, Big like away.

  • Just This is so cute.

  • Disney sitcom No way.

  • Rooth Room.

  • Whoa!

  • You said that you were just like being so nice to meet you.

  • Not really the nicest believe in unicorns.

  • Exactly.

  • So yeah, things like that.

  • So this is like filming room room twitching.

  • We're streaming live pretending.

  • You hell you're talking about How are you so nice?

  • Nice everyone and before, You know, I'm pretty nice, but I think you're gorgeous.

  • Oh, thank you.

  • Here.

  • Uh, well, you're gorgeous.

  • D'oh!

  • Thank you.

  • I appreciate that.

  • I think you'd probably be a little pretty if you weren't dying.

  • Okay, We'll be, like, really hurtful.

  • I think sometimes, like, make you feel like, really lonely and stuff because you just, like, feel like everyone hates you.

  • And I don't know.

  • I mean, I'm I'm alive right now, but thank you for saying I'm gorgeous.

  • Like us from it gets kind of hard to imagine.

  • Like, being really mean to people.

  • I just never want to make someone feel like so you're a gorgeous persons.

  • I think you better what they're like behind the screen.

  • Maybe they don't really, like realize that what they're saying to people can actually like, really like damaging.

  • Really.

  • Careful.

  • I just never want to be me back.

  • And, like also make that feel like even though there not always the nicest Yeah, all over you way.

  • See the your mother that you like him e o I d Oh, yeah.

  • Yeah.

  • You know, you really nice guys like you walked Nightmare like he's cool.

  • Do you like anything bad?

  • Meaning bad.

  • What's worse, you're done.

  • Anything I want you like you two channels, channels that like e o like about me anything like right now.

  • Like if you like, ordered a drink and it was wrong, would you just be like, Oh, it's like wrong, But it's really good, you know, maybe if it's like, it's good, but it's different that I could give it a chance.

  • And you're like, Oh, but that name is like, really bad.

  • Or like I don't really drink it all.

  • So maybe there was, like, alcohol or something.

  • I mean, like, hey, you know, like, maybe could you guys might have been a stake here?

  • I didn't I didn't tell people next to me that I kept talking.

  • What you doing?

  • I'm like I just like to use that there's like a big screen.

  • I was so into it.

  • All the fans on I was just, like, kind of hoping they would stop.

  • But actually, actually, the guy in front of us, you seem like a big fancy kind of give him a look like toss talking.

  • And they like the way recently, actually time.

  • Oh, people, wait.

  • You got friends?

  • Anybody know?

  • There was a lot of people just being like your friends are helping your friend or anything, Whatever, but I'm sure there were some people that were there is kind of something that I really there was almost like some people that, like, never really said anything to you for later on like like Buoying me until, like, trying to make decisions for me and kind of like they just don't listen to me at all.

  • I really wanted to hear, Look, hope I'm feeling good morning.

  • Never seemed to care much for anything, so I guess that's kind of hard.

  • But I also have, like, you know, good people in my life that, like, like, like, really care.

  • All right, guys.

  • So yeah, you see, also pretty pie actually, like made a video where he mentioned me.

  • He likes Central.

  • It's fans like, come over and be like, really like, moving like supportive.

  • And I just really want people to send her a CZ much support and love is possible.

  • And I mean, I really mean that.

  • I think that's the only thing she needs right now.

  • Like those kind of messages, I think for the ones that are like the most helpful.

  • Also not like attacking me, like, you know, trying to be like, Oh, you're like a horrible person like kill yourself.

  • Those kind of videos like that stuff.

  • I just kind of feel like, kind of put you like a worst mindset at least, like for me, where it kind of makes it like, harder to wanna help yourself, Like some of the videos, They just seem like, really like mean spirited, kind of made me feel like a lot more like lonely.

  • And I never wish anything bad words, but definitely accept hurts like trust this kind of people, I think How do you think was actually but e you know, like I don't know what happened with us before.

  • Oh, car things happen now It seems like it's good.

  • Oh, yeah.

  • Here we go.

  • What more Do they really protect this house?

  • Oh, my God.

  • Yeah.

  • You got to cut your hair.

  • So he he did.

  • Yeah, Girl.

  • Seems like she's actually recovering, which is so I really hope this is really hurt.

  • I think I texted you.

  • Yeah, actually thinks about it.

  • Was that maybe I shouldn't done that?

  • I appreciate it.

  • But when you see that, are you, like, still figuring out who that person is?

  • Because you looked a certain way for so long, and now you're changing, you know?

  • I mean, I guess, like for me, sometimes I do find, like, I could be kind of, like, critical of myself.

  • Um, I really got here.

  • This is just one more like, like, barely any make up there.

  • I don't know.

  • I guess I've never really had, like, the highest self esteem, which you don't tryingto work on and stuff.

  • You know, I think it is, like, really good, though, that, like, I did make that decision toe, um, get myself back to, like, a healthy place and, like, do what is like, what I should be doing And is that something to that is a big adjustment, like because there's gonna be I'm sure even on this video, a lot of comments.

  • So great.

  • Kind of comparing it to the last time they saw you in particular.

  • Yeah.

  • Now and then.

  • Are you prepared for that?

  • I guess it's I guess it kind of is like an adjustment.

  • Like seeing like what people will say And like, seeing those comments and to try to look beautiful is a good thing.

  • Feel like they're trying to like you don't make positive common stories, You and yeah, if that makes sense.

  • Thank you.

  • So you don't want to talk about Wait, move off Here.

  • I was doing something.

  • He was like, Oh, no, no.

  • It was just the light in the car.

  • I want to hear you tell your story.

  • Okay.

  • Um, I've never I heard you say a that you have or had a problem and be what it iss Okay.

  • Yeah.

  • So I think maybe starting there, that's not too hard.

  • Yeah, I think that I think that should be okay.

  • Um, so, yes, I was, like, dealing with an eating disorder.

  • Um, as for like, I guess, like labels with things like that.

  • Um, I guess that's something that I've also kind of weird going through it and seeing, like other people that were, like also there, that even know, like a lot of people could be like dealing with eating disorders that, like each person story in each person's like experience.

  • But it could be like, really different and really like individual people often assume that it is our only looked one way.

  • That's why I think that education could be really cool.

  • You know, there's there's binge eating disorder where we overeat.

  • We don't do anything to compensate just over it.

  • And that's how we cope.

  • There's believe me where we binge and purge and we can be underweight or overweight.

  • Everybody's body is different, and there's a lot of others in there, too, that I won't get into.

  • But I think at the very least, it could be great for her to share her story and how it looked for her.

  • So I guess, like with me, um, as for like, I guess, like labels with things like that.

  • Um, I guess they like the details of that.

  • We're kind of like privately there and, um, but also, like, just just keep it from feeling too like too much too fast, so so shouldn't get defensive or feel attacked because that's not the goal.

  • The goal is to, like help her tell a story that's beneficial for everybody.

  • It was definitely an eating disorder, but getting to sack a city really get to, we believe.

  • But that makes us thank you.

  • Okay, so I'll speak on my experience.

  • I always knew Die had a disorder.

  • I always was very self aware and I was always very like I know this is bad.

  • I know I shouldn't be doing this.

  • I feel guilty.

  • I feel embarrassed, like when I would be throwing up in the bathroom.

  • I mean, I was doing with friends in the other room and I was like hiding it and trying to whatever.

  • It's very, very shameful thing took me a long time to talk about it.

  • I look in the mirror and I see a huge person.

  • So I think my question for you is like, was it hard?

  • And his are right now, like literally really talk about it because I feel like giving now.

  • It's a little bit like I don't want to push you too far, but, you know, I think you know, I don't know.

  • I can't imagine what you went through because I feel like you can always have a smile, something trying to, like, put myself and see what it Woz and I feel like it.

  • Like, what was your day to day before getting help?

  • Yeah.

  • And, you know, I guess, like before, they're kind of would be like times where I guess I realized like, hey, like, I'm not like eating and not I really should be taking better care of myself and like, I would have people like my mom especially.

  • And like my family and my parents and everything that would be like, You really should be like, you know, taking care of yourself better and like eating more, you know, it would be like bringing it up to me.

  • And obviously there was a lot of people talking about that.

  • I guess it's like, in a way, like, kind of like, maybe even like smoking or something, where people kind of like, know when they're being like, Hey, you know, I should stop this, but it's like sometimes like I should kind of go through periods or like you're better about it.

  • But like it's gonna hard, I guess, toe like, just like, totally like stop and totally like Stop it, you're the awakened toe, actually, like, go and try to, like, be better and like it help for myself.

  • When do you remember It's started?

  • Yeah.

  • And, um, you know, it's kind of weird with me, I guess because, like, even like when I was younger, I've always I really always have been, like, pretty, like, naturally.

  • Like Small.

  • Yes.

  • I mean, like in school.

  • And I don't look like a little boy ing and that kind of thing.

  • I think that, like, definitely when you have people like hoping somebody's to you, we can definitely kind of make you feel more secure, like, stick with you then, I guess.

  • Kind of like his things were going forward.

  • Obviously, I was like, losing more weight.

  • And I was kind of like, not really acknowledging that and kind of just being ago, Okay, like whatever.

  • Not really seeing that.

  • It was like a really big problem.

  • And then when I just like stupid videos and all of that and my channels are growing of it, then there was, like, certain people that were like, make videos about me and, like, talk about my body a little bit.

  • It kind of like was really affecting you.

  • Like, really badly.

  • And like, making me feel really bad And, like, not taking care of myself, like, really in, Like, a really bad, like mind state.

  • I guess it just kind of like progressing.

  • And I wasn't really doing much like stop bad.

  • And I guess, like eventually, it just, like, faulted a point where I really realized it would be a good idea.

  • Get some help for that.

  • Okay.

  • Well, yeah.

  • Getting out.

  • So what was it like?

  • Because we've got around it.

  • But you went.

  • I didn't Yes.

  • So, yeah, I was in, um, like, rehab program for it, and it was really had a weird experience, I guess, because it's definitely like when you go from being, like the real world entering that, like its owner, like way, you and all of that.

  • But they don't really tell you how much weight.

  • I guess they kind of keep that like, Yeah, so you know, I actually like that.

  • I guess you don't really know what's going on with that.

  • Exactly.

  • It can be kind of like you can't be in a way.

  • We're like It's very like like schedules like you wake up in a certain time than some days, look kind of check your vitals and maybe do a blood test.

  • Some days it's like make sure things go in.

  • All right, then you also kind of therapist Coming in.

  • Impatient is like where I worked.

  • I didn't work enough.

  • The hospital setting.

  • I worked impatient with like a home.

  • And they're all working together.

  • And there's groups, and there's a lot of, like, observation something about it.

  • Observations they call it to make sure that you aren't like throwing food away or throwing it up or compensated in some fashion.

  • As you're like eating, you're kind of like watched on.

  • Then afterwards, like for meals.

  • It would be like our observation and for like, snacks of like, half an hour.

  • When you go to the bathroom, you actually have someone like observing you.

  • They'll be like outside the door, so it's a lot like being watched, which is definitely, really strange.

  • And then a slug is you're just like following program and following the rules.

  • Then you kind of like slowly earned privileges back like so.

  • So you're monitored a lot.

  • And where you was there, like they do you in, like, a food plan.

  • And how do you do it?

  • Waas?

  • You kind of have, like, a guest, like some say in it, but they were kind of, like, slowly increase it and be giving you more.

  • So definitely like it kind of can seem like a lot when you're, like, going in there and suddenly like, I didn't like it so much.

  • So, um, yeah, that kind of, I guess, kind of our first.

  • And you know why I was there?

  • Like, um, I was I was kind of honestly, like, surprised.

  • Like I wasn't really like when I moved out to L.

  • A.

  • I wasn't really, like regularly waiting missile.

  • And then when I did, like, find out how low my weight was like compared to before, it was kind of like shocking to me because I guess I didn't even realize, like I had people telling me my mom and, you know, old of like, some of my friends and stuff.

  • But I guess I did it like, really see that it was getting to that point.

  • Really So at the same time.

  • Like I guess I knew it.

  • I had just had to do it and like I had Thio like all the program and do what I had to dio.

  • But yeah, it definitely like when you're going into it.

  • It could definitely seem like a lot and like, isn't exactly the easiest.

  • So for a lot of people use our real enemies gaining weight, and that's like your biggest fear.

  • But that is part of the recovery process along.

  • People don't talk about that because it is.

  • It's like hard for people who are in it.

  • I get a lot of questions every month about like how I love my body at this week.

  • It's just like anything internist, her tears feeling It makes me look like like eating disorders or so hard, because you have to eat to live right?

  • So it's like my issues with food.

  • I struggle with daily because I have Thio constantly being an alcoholic and having to drink.

  • It's like a weird thing.

  • I guess I'm trying to understand how you like, got over that.

  • What's your favorite fruit?

  • I don't know, maybe apples or something like or are you.

  • Are you still figuring that out?

  • And, you know, I definitely say I'm doing a lot better with things now and that now I'm definitely trying to make sure that, like, I'm eating enough and not like, letting things get back to the point that it was that Wow.

  • Wow, you're in it, like, definitely, like, seems like so much.

  • Sometimes I'll get you like breakfast and all of that.

  • Then later they'll come in and like, you'll have, like, a snack.

  • Then later they have lunch, and then they have, like, another snack.

  • And then So it's a lot of, I guess, like eating Yeah, food.

  • I know this is like way Was the food like, what was it was good, Or was it kind of like, really, like, too bad?

  • Usually, like like breakfast.

  • I like pancakes Or some like egg sandwich thing or something.

  • Yeah, kind of.

  • Yeah, something like that.

  • I think you like You've been there like a fruit fruit cop kind of thing.

  • And like, like snacks and issue with a delivery like crackers, or like chips.

  • They would give you, like fries and stuff like that.

  • So yeah.

  • So So what was a typical day before treatment did.

  • Did you?

  • How did you have so much energy?

  • I don't want your feelings.

  • You get weird writing.

  • I'm so like it's totally fine.

  • You know, it's I guess I'm kind of lucky that, like, you know, a lot of people would like, even like make videos.

  • And this is kind of, I guess, like another reason I wouldn't always take things like that seriously.

  • When people like make, like concerned there sometimes like Coleman's I'll keep would like, make theories like Michael, my hair is bacon crazy.

  • Theories like that honestly like that.

  • Never husband, like they said, like there's no way you're here but actually be like that like it's not real.

  • It's either pull extensions or hear the way.

  • It's definitely are here, and I feel like I should have already been lost.

  • I guess it can be for for some people, it can be like a side effect that will happen is like some people will whose hair and the public to damage insult like that which I guess I was really lucky that I didn't experience any of that because I guess it could have ended up being like that could have ended up being a lot worse.

  • Would you do what I eat in the day video?

  • No, I don't think I would.

  • And, um, I was still, like, eating every day, but I guess it just wasn't really like that much, Which for me, I guess I just kind of wasn't really, like realizing that I like it.

  • Should have been eating more.

  • I guess.

  • Um I wouldn't ask her what she ate, but in my experience, they do eat.

  • It's just not very much, but I wouldn't ask her what she's and like.

  • Yeah.

  • Uh, sorry.

  • Like, totally, like all around for your Sorry.

  • This is this might be too far, but where the doctor is just, like, how are you?

  • How did you survive like this?

  • Honestly, Yeah, like some of them.

  • They were kind of surprised that I was lucky and didn't really have, like, a lot of, like, that effects from it.

  • I guess What?

  • I kind of saw that, like my wheat, was always more like the low side.

  • I guess they can maybe like Okay, well, that's why it's not as bad as it could been.

  • I was really lucky that had really good doctors that were monitoring me and making sure that nothing was too much for me.

  • It's like handle and like, I'm definitely not like expert or anything like that.

  • But yeah, like sometimes I think it's called re feedings in your own is, I think, like if you just suddenly start like beating someone like crazy, pick up a burger on and have some food how this works, I'm not exactly sure, like what, like the bad things that happen are, but it could actually be really, really dangerous.

  • That's why eating disorder most deadly mental illnesses because it leads to heart attack our body.

  • Our body eats away at its fat, and then it's muscle and your hearts of muscles slowly gets weaker.

  • And then, you know, you exert yourself our attack.

  • And so I have patients were heart monitors and they go into treatment in the air to fit for a while.

  • And then they get back on the sold foods and then they're discharged.

  • It's definitely think good that if you have like a team, that's just kind of making sure that you're not just like, you know, like being like oh, eat a burger and a bag of chips, and it could really feel like a walk for the person to just, like, handle once.

  • Definitely something that you need to be careful about.

  • So have you thought about what you are?

  • And I know it's still such a personal thing for me.

  • It's like talking about the food thing.

  • Japanese snacks really know Japanese Max, but I'm sure they're cool.

  • Maybe it's just my issues with, but like with you, Is that something that you think you're probably never gonna do?

  • Is you're like, I just don't want that up.

  • It's just like my thing.

  • And I think now people like ask me you, like, food related questions like I would be like, more able to talk about that still is kind of like a comfortable were like, You haven't really out of line of all and suddenly people, I guess almost like expecting you to kind of like expecting, you know, like, come back and just like yeah, basically, which I guess that's kind of like you just like expecting.

  • Oh, yeah.

  • So I mean, I know you got a life different, I guess, but I can't be like we're willing to, you know, talk about the subject, though, and I think I still also want to make, like, you know, just like videos that, like I thought, things I enjoy because I also think that's a really important thing that, like sometimes I think like, if you like for me like it was just kind of fall.

  • People talk about and people kind of treat you like there's like, nothing more to you If there's nothing else that like you really like the people I care about your almost like moaning like a human.

  • And I think it's like it's like important people to know that whether you're dealing with, like, eating disorder, another type of mental health problem or like whatever that that isn't like who they are, like there is a lot more to them than just that and that they shouldn't feel like their whole identity is just just that one thing.

  • And there's like a lot more to people than just like what they're going through their disorder that they're doing with Yeah, but I would definitely like toe people, like able to a little bit, but yeah, I guess I'm not like the expert, but you.

  • You Well, okay.

  • On that note, what do you want?

  • What do you do?

  • Like, what do you enjoy so like?

  • Let's Yeah, even.

  • Sort of got great.

  • Now what?

  • What do you what do you like?

  • So I think we're talking about I, like, make up a lot and stuff like that.

  • And like, even though, like, not like the best it it's always just been something like I really enjoy you could like, be creative with it and do a lot of stuff with that.

  • So I fashioned in general and stuff like that.

  • Like what?

  • Oh, this is a spirit.

  • You're Yeah, it's like a star ithe One thing you have all fit actually know my head's way.

  • What's where's like, I assume?

  • Well, I don't know.

  • Come back T o T o Never think you're great.

  • You're fun.

  • You don't take shit from anyone and you only do things really.

  • But I'm alone with baggage that I haven't yet claimed on.

  • Take that.

  • It's not easy for me.

  • Thio, give space to your Step two.

  • It's not you, don't you?

  • I just need to speak.

  • I think the way Not that you deserve to be talking about the way I I actually didn't have you for you.

  • Really?

  • I think, And we could do together.

  • I think you should do a video called What I missed while I was actually a really good deal you could like.

  • Tell me what happened was I probably don't even know half the stuff that's been going on that way.

  • You get it.

  • You go.

  • Sounds like my favorite.

  • Oh, I just saw Oh, my God.

  • I'm being triggers Jacuzzis room.

  • That's iconic.

  • If I just went on you Gina's channel, just like hey, wait.

  • Just you actually like December should go?

  • Yeah, offers that, As you know, that's way.

  • Have room for a while.

  • And now I'm back from that.

  • And I think I was a waiter.

  • Oh, good.

  • Okay, last thing happened.

  • Uh, you left theater.

  • I know.

  • I thank you so much cheesy this.

  • I think that's so crazy.

  • So cool to think about this.

  • She who like me is he hit you like I don't even know this is wrong.

  • And people were like, Oh, there's no, like the videos were so aggressive with this Is it like, let's stop trying to help her like It's bad, You know, being with you hearing what you've been through, it also just your attitude about it's all been very like, uh, but the fact that she is, I think doing better his like, I don't want you to work a miracle.

  • Yeah.

  • Is it wrong to use that word?

  • I mean, anybody, anybody you could say is like a miracle way.

  • All know, it's hard to be motive.

  • It's hard to change, like people always talk about.

  • Oh, therapy makes you weak or whatever.

  • Like therapy is the hardest fucking thing.

  • Look like you expected.

  • Strip away.

  • All the bullshit of whatever you do is look inside you like I like that about myself, and I want to fix it.

  • And that could be hard, you know?

  • So I think it's always here.

  • I'm glad she got home.

  • Yeah.

  • Yes.

  • What situation?

  • Like bigger picture?

  • Yeah, Not that.

  • Like I'm the perfect example early expert or anything like that, but e So it's like some people.

  • Maybe you could see that, like, you know, I went through this and I think doing a lot better way then.

  • I think that really cool.

  • Like maybe some people that are going through a hard time or an eating disorder like anything No, they can, like, get through that there is like hell for him and that people do care about them a lot.

  • Okay, if you need anything, Bto.

  • And hopefully they can try to, like state politics through that, just like nobody can get through that.

  • So that that's the least.

  • No way.

  • No.

  • So, basically to me that you just like you.

  • It's like when you use one of your twitter and you're just like, Oh, my God, I feel so good today.

  • And then you see a tweet, and people are like, kill yourself or something crazy.

  • Yeah, There you go. 00:59:55.330 --

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