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  • Every year we learn more about our past as human beings,

  • and a new discovery in Indonesia

  • might mean that our past is much older than we thought.

  • Archaeologists are amazed and excited by the discovery

  • of prehistoric cave art recently found in Indonesia.

  • Cave art being studied by Griffith University adademics

  • Adam Brumm and Max Aubert

  • could be the oldest ever discovered

  • BRUMM: It shows this incredible hunting scene,

  • which might have spiritual connotations.

  • NEWSMAN: The big concern now is that the Sulawesi artwork

  • could vanish.

  • BRUMM: It's a real tragedy.

  • This image is... is peeling away off the wall, essentially.

  • It's flaking off.

  • It could be gone within our own lifetime.

  • Uh, so stop touching it.

  • (laughter)

  • This art lasted 44,000 years, and then these guys show up

  • like, "Oh, no, it's in danger. Aw, look at that.

  • "It's just chipping away.

  • "Look, when I scratch it, it comes right off.

  • We got to do something, mate. Bring the sandblaster."

  • (laughter)

  • You know what I really love

  • about discovering ancient art in a cave is that it shows

  • that cavemen were more creative than we think.

  • And it also shows that they didn't give a shit

  • about their security deposit.

  • Yeah. They're just like, "Screw it, we got no heat, no water.

  • -I'm drawing on the walls." -(laughter)

  • And I'm always impressed that scientists can date

  • exactly how old these paintings are.

  • You know, it must be, like, a really crazy chemical analysis.

  • Or they just saw it in the background

  • of one of Bernie Sanders' childhood photos.

  • It could be that. It could be that.

  • -He was seven there. -(laughter)

  • But let's move on to high school proms.

  • It's that time of the year

  • when young people work up the courage to get rejected

  • by someone who didn't even know they exist.

  • And for one young man, his prom proposal

  • took a really unexpected turn.

  • A Carson City teen regained the full use of his hand,

  • but it came at the expense of another one of his body parts.

  • Doctors detached Aidan Atkins index toe

  • and used it to recreate a thumb.

  • Aidan says he wasn't able to use the thumb he sawed off,

  • well, because he couldn't find it.

  • He lost his thumb

  • trying to make his girlfriend an invitation to prom

  • Aiden says the accident happened so fast

  • that he didn't have time to react.

  • He says he's thankful it wasn't much worse.

  • Wow.

  • Yo, man, kudos to that guy.

  • That is an amazing story.

  • Like, I'm glad the doctors were able to give him his hand back,

  • and I'm genuinely impressed at his great attitude.

  • Like, he had to replace his thumb with a toe,

  • but he's still like, "You know what, life goes on."

  • -(laughter) -Yeah.

  • I get a pimple on my forehead, I'm like, "I'm gonna die!

  • Don't look at me!"

  • And, guys, you got to admit, science is amazing.

  • 'Cause I didn't know doctors could put your toe on your hand

  • and it would work as a finger.

  • 'Cause that basically means that our toes

  • are replacement fingers. Right?

  • Yeah, you know what it's like? It's like when a shirt

  • comes with extra buttons sewn in.

  • That's what God designed-- if we lose a finger,

  • we can just be like, "Oh, well, seven more to go."

  • (laughter)

  • And in some ways, it might even be better

  • having some of your fingers be toes, you know?

  • Like, now you can get a mani-pedi at the same time.

  • Just... And by the way, what an upgrade for that toe.

  • Can we admit that? Yes? I bet all the other toes

  • must have thrown it a huge going-away party.

  • Just like, "Did you hear?

  • "Middle toe's moving up to the big time!

  • "He's gonna be a finger! Yeah...!

  • "Don't forget us when you're holding things, Middy!

  • Don't forget us!"

  • He's like, "I'll come back, guys.

  • "I'll help you clip your nails,

  • "and I'll tell you what the inside of a nose looks like!

  • -Yay...!" -(laughter, groans)

  • I actually wonder if this works for other parts of the body.

  • 'Cause I'm fascinated now.

  • Like, can you use a leg as an arm?

  • Or can you use a knee as a shoulder?

  • I mean, it must be possible to swap parts,

  • because Donald Trump uses a vagina as a neck. I mean...

  • (laughter, shouts)

  • Yeah. Just like, "Sometimes I grab me by the pussy."

  • All right. And finally,

  • Christmas is just around the corner,

  • and apparently, for parents,

  • there's a fun, new holiday tradition.

  • Have you ever had your kids pose for pictures on Santa's lap?

  • Smiles all around, right?

  • Didn't think so.

  • Mark Strassmann met a photographer in Atlanta

  • who embraces the holly and the not so jolly.

  • STRASSMANN: This is photographer Jeff Roffman's studio.

  • In here, a white Christmas often turns blue.

  • -(crying) -ROFFMAN: We have parents come in here

  • hoping their kids will cry, uh, and they leave disappointed

  • if their kids don't.

  • -Run, everybody, run, run, run! -(screaming)

  • STRASSMANN: Roffman was floored

  • parents wanted their kids to cry.

  • (crying)

  • He had 7,000 photo shoots available over six weeks.

  • They sold out in ten minutes.

  • Okay, that is so mean.

  • (laughter)

  • Parents are making their babies cry

  • just so that they can get a cool-looking picture?

  • You know what I hope?

  • I hope those kids get revenge.

  • I hope in 40 years,

  • they drop their parents off at a nursing home

  • and then take pictures of them crying

  • while the Jamaican nurse is holding them back.

  • Yeah. That's what that should be.

  • Just have their parents on the nurse lap,

  • like, just crying.

  • They're like, "Don't leave me with this lady.

  • I don't even know who she is."

  • They'll be like, "Her name's karma, bitch."

  • (laughter and applause)

  • Nurse will be like, "Actually, my name's Gladys,

  • but you're right. Your daddy's a little bitch."

  • (laughter)

  • This is a great example of how parents make their kids

  • do things that they say they shouldn't do.

  • 'Cause parents are always like, "Strangers are dangerous.

  • If you ever feel uncomfortable, run away."

  • The kid's like, "I'm uncomfortable now."

  • "Shut up! I'm trying to get a photo, Timmy."

  • Like, this whole practice

  • of sitting on an old man's lap to get presents is weird to me.

  • That's why I'm not gonna let my kids sit on Santa's lap.

  • If my kids want presents,

  • they can do it the old-fashioned way:

  • by fighting to the death on Black Friday.

Every year we learn more about our past as human beings,

Subtitles and vocabulary

B1 TheDailyShow laughter thumb lap indonesia art

Prehistoric Art in Indonesia, a Disastrous Prom Proposal & Sad Santa Photos | The Daily Show

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    林宜悉 posted on 2020/03/25
Video vocabulary

Keywords

genuinely

US /ˈdʒɛnjʊɪnlɪ/

UK /'dʒenjʊɪnlɪ/

  • adverb
  • In a real, actual, not false or artificial way
  • In a genuine or authentic manner.
  • In a sincere and honest way.
  • Truly; actually.
ancient

US /ˈenʃənt/

UK /'eɪnʃənt/

  • adjective
  • Very old; having lived a very long time ago
  • Relating to a period in history, especially in the distant past.
  • Very old; antiquated.
  • Having been in existence for a very long time; traditional.
  • Belonging to the very distant past and no longer in existence.
  • noun
  • A person who lived in ancient times.
admit

US /ædˈmɪt/

UK /əd'mɪt/

  • verb
  • To acknowledge that something is true or right
  • To allow someone to enter
  • To go to hospital for a few days
  • To agree that you did something bad; to own up
  • other
  • To acknowledge or confess to be true or to be the case.
  • To allow someone or something to enter a place.
  • To allow something to be used as evidence in a court of law.
  • To allow someone to enter a hospital for treatment.
screw

US /skru/

UK /skru:/

  • verb
  • To cheat someone, as out of money/property
  • To close something by turning it into place
  • To attach things together by twisting
  • To twist something out of shape, e.g. paper
  • noun
  • Long metal nail with a spiral thread
tragedy

US /ˈtrædʒɪdi/

UK /'trædʒədɪ/

  • other
  • The tragic aspect of life; the condition of being subject to great loss or suffering.
  • noun
  • A very sad event or situation, especially one involving death or suffering.
  • A type of play or story in which the main character suffers a lot or dies.
  • Play that has a sad ending with many deaths
  • Very sad event that usually involves death
swap

US /swɑp/

UK /swɒp/

  • noun
  • A trade or exchange of goods without using money
  • verb
  • To exchange goods without spending money; trade
spiritual

US /ˈspɪrɪtʃuəl/

UK /ˈspɪrɪtʃuəl/

  • adjective
  • Of religious belief; believing in things of soul
  • noun
  • Religious song from the southern united states
throw

US /θroʊ/

UK /θrəʊ/

  • noun
  • Arm movement to make a thing fly through the air
  • Loose cloth or blanket (usually over a chair)
  • Forcibly putting someone on the ground
  • verb
  • To use your arm to make something fly in the air
  • To move part of your body suddenly and forcefully
  • To confuse or upset someone
  • (E.g. judo) to forcibly put someone on the ground
  • To propel something through the air with force.
  • To put something somewhere suddenly and roughly
thumb

US /θʌm/

UK /θʌm/

  • verb
  • To use your thumb to request a ride in a car
  • To casually look through a book, magazine etc.
  • noun
  • The short, thick first digit of the human hand, set apart from the other four.
  • Part of a glove that goes over the thumb
  • The short, thick finger on the side of your hand
  • The part of a hand used to play an instrument.
  • A unit of measurement based on the width of a thumb.
  • The part of a glove or mitten that covers the thumb.
  • other
  • To travel by hitchhiking.
  • other
  • To soil or wear with the thumb.
  • To turn pages with the thumb.
attitude

US /ˈætɪˌtud, -ˌtjud/

UK /ˈætitju:d/

  • noun
  • Way you act, think and feel about something

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