Name: What are cohesion and coherence and how can they help you on your IELTS exam? (2 of 4)
Uploaded: 2020-03-25T04:30:32.000Z
Duration: 10 min 53 s
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Adverbs of degree

writing with cohesion and coherence is a skill that can greatly improve the quality of your composition.

Now, to help illustrate how to use cohere, cohesion and coherence in your writing, I have included a few examples.

Adverbs of manner

In the following example, we're looking at a paragraph that lax cohesion notice how the sentences are grammatically correct and easy to understand.

Yet do not linked to one another in any appearance.

Wait, so what you will see in this next example Paragraph is a paragraph that has some coherence but is lacking in cohesion.

So the ideas air There, there, there's there's somewhat clear, but they're not very well linked together.

And when we read it, it's difficult for us to follow the logic of the writer.

Modern lifestyles do not cater to human health.

People who get less than six hours of sleep per night often miss two more work days per year due to illness than the average worker.

Sleep is an important precursor to health.

Modern lifestyles dictate people sleep less.

Modern lifestyles are increasingly becoming a hindrance to health.

Now there may be a few new words in their precursor.

Precursor is something that is the cause of something else.

So here we have sleep is an important precursor to health.

So if you get enough sleep, this will cause you to have good health.

Hindrance is something that is damaging, or something that causes another thing to decline in level of quality, modern lifestyles are increasingly becoming a hindrance to human health.

What we see in this example is a supporting paragraph in an essay.

Now, what you probably noticed was that the argument has to do with modern lifestyles, and it appears to be connecting modern lifestyles, uh, to a decline in overall human health.

Now, to prove that this is true, this paragraph presents the example which is a lack of sleep.

If you look up here, we see this example.

People who get less than six hours of sleep often miss two more work days per year due to illness than the average worker.

So the writer is using this point to prove that modern lifestyles are not good for human beings.

The problem here is that the sentences don't connect together.

It's difficult to see that logical conclusion.

When we read this first sentence, this topic sentence modern lifestyles.

You not cater to human health people who get less than six hours of sleep per night.

It sounds like we're talking about two totally different topics.

We need to show a reader how our ideas connect together and how they prove the overall argument of her paragraph and ultimately, our essay.

So now I would like to work with you together and let's inject some cohesion into this paragraph.

Now, assuming this is the first of our two or three supporting paragraphs, you may wish to write a phrase like Firstly, now some people might think, Well, that's, you know, everybody rates firstly, but it makes a big difference.

It shows us that this is not the first paragraph.

This is connected to an idea that was presented before it, and when the reader reads this, they will feel that connection.

Firstly, modern lifestyles do not cater to human health.

Now we want to show that this is an example that connects to this topic sentence and the easiest way to do that is just too clearly state that it is an example, for example, comma people who get less than six hours of sleep.

So now here, When the reader reads this, for example, they know that this is a sentence that is connected to the sentence before it.

This is an example of how modern lifestyles do not cater to human health.

So now these two sentences have some cohesion together.

For example, people who get less than six hours of sleep per night often miss two more work days per year due to illness than the average worker.

Now, this example shows that if you don't get enough sleep, you're going to be sick.

But here we need some another cohesive phrase to show the link between this example and the conclusion that we're drawing.

So we need something like this makes it's clear that sleep is an important precursor to health.

Okay, so now when we read this sentence, we see the word this.

This example makes it clear that sleep is an important precursor to health.

Now the sentence is connected to the one before it, and the argument is becoming more logical and clearer to the reader.

Now we come to kind of the conclusion area of this paragraph.

What we're trying to do is we're trying to show that this example, which is the lack of sleep, comes as a result of a modern lifestyle.

So people who are engaged in border lifestyles typically get less sleep.

Thus, we could make the conclusion that modern lifestyles are connected to a decrease in health.

Now, what you see here is modern lifestyles dictates people sleep less.

Now this sentence is saying modern lifestyles dictate, which means kind of force people to get less sleep.

But the problem is it doesn't really connect to the ideas that we've presented before it.

We say modern lifestyles are increasingly becoming a hindrance to human health.

They both mentioned modern lifestyles, and they're both not not very not not clear in their connection to the rest of the paragraph, so we might rephrase them by connecting them to the conclusion that we've drawn regarding sleep with a word like thus.

And perhaps we could say something like this as modern lifestyles, Uh, just take this old heater.

Thus, as modern lifestyles, it's dictate people sleep less coma, no reason to start a new sentence.

The connection modern lifestyles have to to the damaging of human health is obvious.

So we had a sentence before this That said, sleep.

A lack of sleep is a precursor to poor health.

Thus, as modern lifestyles dictate, people sleep less.

So here we're making the connection back to modern lifestyles.

Modern lifestyles force people to sleep less because of this.

Thus, the connection modern lifestyles have to the damaging of human health is obvious.

So what we're showing is modern lifestyles caused people to sleep less.

If you sleep less, this causes you to be in poor health.

 So logically there is a connection between modern lifestyles and poor health. 

Subtitles ListPlay Video

What are cohesion and coherence and how can they help you on your IELTS exam? (2 of 4)

ultimately

entire

assume

obvious