Name: Evaluating a student's written IELTS essay (part 8 of 8)
Uploaded: 2020-03-25T03:21:39.000Z
Duration: 4 min 11 s
Description: Thousands of YouTube videos with English-Chinese subtitles! Now you can learn to understand native speakers, expand your vocabulary, and improve your pronunciation...

Okay, Um, now, finally, your prediction statement is not on topic.

So here in black, we see these students Original prediction statement.

Future simple

It is predicted that a near future seniors group will suffer, especially their ill health will also rise with age.

So, aside from the grammar thief prediction itself is supposed to be an educated guess on your part how the growing population of aging people will affect society in the future.

So here the student talks about the ill health of the old people rising with age, which I think is obvious and the future seniors group will suffer.

But I think that we want to be to have the the prediction a little bit more on topic.

Now, if you look to the green, I've rewritten the sentence.

Although unfortunate, the negatives Uh oh, certainly should be negative.

The negative impact impacts of an aging society, our only predicted to grow in the future.

So in the thesis, we were talking about the negative or the positive.

Remember, we were to decide whether it was negative or positive.

Now, in the prediction, we're just saying whether we think this is going to continue our the negative things going to, uh, to become more and more or they're going to recede.

So, um, I think that ah, sentence like this, Although unfortunate, the negative impacts of an aging society are only predicted to grow in the future.

This takes the entire essay about what we've been arguing.

So that's the growth of old people in numbers in society is going to continue into the future.

So we're also going to say that this is going to negatively a Paksas impact society more and more.

Okay, now, finally, sometimes students ask because it can seem like you're repeating yourself many times in an essay.

So in this essay, in particular, we used some words like negative and society and elderly and students.

Sometimes they will come to me and they'll say, You know, I feel maybe that this is going to be a bad thing if I keep repeating myself, I think I should be writing new things all the time.

You want to have some key words that appear throughout the essay, so it shows that there's kind of a link between each of the paragraphs and that the ideas of the scene, the things that need to be new are the ideas in the two supporting paragraphs, and and the idea is presented in the introduction paragraph.

The conclusion paragraph itself should not contain any new information that'll, aside from your prediction, your prediction is perhaps, ah, new idea, because it's sort of your you're feeling or your opinion on what's going to happen in the future.

But, uh, but the conclusions paragraph itself should not be presenting any new information, you know, to help argue, because that should already have been done in the two supporting paragraphs, right?

That's what the supporting programs do is they argue in favor of your thesis, and they try to help you write your thesis.

I know that it may seem like you're repeating yourself a lot and using the words negative society and elderly many times in this essay.

These air keywords for the essay and help to show your essay is linked to your essay question.