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  • Oh wow.

  • This is it!

  • This was worth it this morning, coming up here.

  • JOEY: Yeah, how does it feel?

  • I'M THE KING OF THE WORLD! AHAHAHAHAHA.

  • Hey guys, welcome back to Journey Across Japan,

  • never-ending cycle of despair.

  • If you haven't been watching, we've been cycling around.

  • Joey's been joining me the last three or four days,

  • how are your legs, Joey?

  • JOEY: Ah, my legs are fine, actually.

  • CHRIS: What happened here?

  • JOEY: I hurt myself...on the bouncy castle thing on the first day.

  • CHRIS: Really?

  • JOEY: Yeah.

  • CHRIS: Didn't see that.

  • JOEY: When we did, like the shooting...like, skit?

  • CHRIS: It seems you've...

  • CHRIS: It seems you've...outlived your contract.

  • *BANG*

  • CHRIS: ...Oh, yeah.

  • JOEY: ...we did, I don't know if you put that in the video.

  • I hurt myself doing that, so.

  • CHRIS: Aww.

  • Poor Joey, the sacrifices he's made for these videos.

  • Incalculable.

  • CHRIS: So we're currently in the rural town of Kashiwazaki

  • and today we're heading to Joetsu,

  • which is about 40 kilometers south.

  • If you're wondering why there's a Nintendo 64 controller strapped to my bike.

  • or a weird...mask thing on Joey's bike,

  • you can go back and watch yesterday's video,

  • it's all explained there,

  • ...better than I ever could.

  • JOEY: Alright, here we go!

  • Give us something good, Anpanman's crotch.

  • CHRIS: So these are challenges that you guys are sending in.

  • Our crew, our team have curated them.

  • Put the best 4 or 5 into this machine.

  • And today we've got...

  • JOEY: This is from SimonJF89.

  • It says every 30 minutes, you need to quote an 80's or 90's film quote.

  • We have to try and like, fit it into a casual conversation.

  • Like, you can't just bust out a quote out of random.

  • CHRIS: Absolutely.

  • CHRIS: The weather's certainly on our side today though.

  • It's very sunny, which means we need to plaster ourselves in..

  • a ton of sunscreen.

  • JOEY: Can I have some of that?

  • CHRIS: You want sunscreen?

  • JOEY: I'm entitled to.

  • CHRIS: You want sunscreen?!

  • JOEY: I want the sunscreen!

  • CHRIS: YOU CAN'T HANDLE THIS SUNSCREEN!

  • *ding*

  • JOEY: I've already put some on.

  • JOEY: So we spent an evening here in Kashiwazaki, but...

  • What was your favorite thing about it?

  • CHRIS: My favorite thing...was...

  • I think my favorite thing was the...

  • JOEY: I DON'T REMEMBER ASKING YOU A GODDAMN THING.

  • *ding*

  • CHRIS: What it's gonna be like...

  • For the whole day. *Joey laughing*

  • CHRIS: So it begins.

  • Let's go.

  • *grunt*

  • JOEY: Let's go! WOO!

  • CHRIS: I can take him!

  • argh

  • No!

  • dammit

  • CHRIS: Ugghh.

  • I'm so...knackered.

  • My legs are killing.

  • CHRIS: Joey, nice struggling.

  • Struggling to get up a really steep hill.

  • Every five minutes.

  • Today's been brutal.

  • JOEY: Yeah.

  • CHRIS: Absolutely brutal.

  • JOEY: The last, like, two days has been mostly flat.

  • But today was just nothing but hills.

  • So even though we haven't traveled this far, we're...

  • more fucked...

  • ...than we were a few days ago.

  • UGGGHH.

  • *grunt*

  • CHRIS: Joey.

  • Are you okay?

  • JOEY: No.

  • I'm quite fucking far from okay.

  • CHRIS: What are we gonna do now?

  • JOEY: What are we gonna do now?

  • There is no...

  • There is no we.

  • *ding*

  • CHRIS: We're halfway now to Joetsu,

  • and we've stopped at this little lover's sanctuary spot.

  • Randomly in the middle of our journey.

  • It's perched on the top of this rather nice-looking cliff.

  • And there's lots of chains and love hearts around.

  • Erm, I must admit the chains do look a bit sinister.

  • These rusty chains.

  • Wrapped around.

  • But it is a very romantic spot.

  • So it seems fitting that I should come here with, er...

  • ...with Joey.

  • CHRIS: Yeah, Joey, get up here, the view's pretty good.

  • JOEY: How'd you get up there?

  • CHRIS: Do you trust me?

  • JOEY: What?

  • CHRIS: Do you trust me?

  • ..

  • ...

  • Nah.

  • *record scratch* CHRIS: Oh, alright then.

  • *ding*

  • CHRIS: Eating his ice cream.

  • Here you go.

  • Something we both agree on.

  • JOEY: "Joey and Chris love the 80's."

  • CHRIS: We both agree on that.

  • JOEY: We sure do.

  • CHRIS: And there's a padlock!

  • JOEY: Okay.

  • CHRIS: So it will stay mortalized on the rusty fence forever.

  • JOEY: And then do we throw the key into the ocean?

  • CHRIS: Yeah.

  • JOEY: Is that how it works?

  • CHRIS: It is now.

  • *snickering*

  • CHRIS: I wanted to find the rustiest chain we possibly could, and this is it.

  • This is it, right here.

  • There's loads of hearts, they've just been smashed to pieces and weathered away.

  • So our one, our nice bright shiny,

  • "Joey and Chris love the 80's" heart,

  • JOEY: Which we do.

  • CHRIS: Will stand out as a beacon of hope!

  • CHRIS: Look how rusty this is, this is horrible.

  • JOEY: You were the one who wanted to find the rusty one.

  • CHRIS: This is disgusting.

  • *sounds of awe*

  • CHRIS: Whoa!

  • Stop everything, this is-

  • Look at this!

  • Giant praying mantis!

  • *camera shutter noises*

  • CHRIS: Look at the size of that praying mantis!

  • Oh my Christ!

  • That is massive.

  • CHRIS: That's the biggest praying mantis I've ever seen.

  • The female praying mantis eats the male after they've, er, reproduced,

  • so it seems rather fitting that we're at this romantic lovers', uh,

  • Romantic lovers' point.

  • One insect that eats its partner.

  • JOEY: Just made an incredible discovery.

  • CHRIS: Yeah?

  • JOEY: This key that we used to lock our love for the 80's...

  • CHRIS: Mmm.

  • JOEY: unlocks...

  • almost all of these locks!

  • almost all of these locks! *laughter*

  • CHRIS: That's terrible!

  • JOEY: I just loosened one of them and I just quickly put it back, and I'm like "Oh."

  • CHRIS: That's a pretty big design flaw.

  • JOEY: That is a design...

  • CHRIS: So we could unshackle

  • JOEY: If we were... CHRIS: the love of all these hearts.

  • JOEY: True...

  • loveless dicks.

  • JOEY: Then we could easily just go around and unlock all of these.

  • CHRIS: You have the key.

  • JOEY: I have the key to everyone's hearts.

  • CHRIS: Oh wow.

  • This is it!

  • This was worth it this morning, coming up here.

  • JOEY: Yeah, how does it feel?

  • I'M THE KING OF THE WOOOORLD!

  • I'M THE KING OF THE WOOOORLD! AHAHAHAHAHA.

  • CHRIS: We've just stopped for lunch at this little place called Fisherman's Wharf.

  • They've got like a,

  • Some sort of museum with loads of cool stuff in that looks like...

  • It feels like we just walked onto the set of Pirates of the Caribbean or something.

  • Look at this treasure chest!

  • It's amazing.

  • CHRIS: When Ian saw this treasure chest, his eyes lit up.

  • Like that.

  • *thunk*

  • CHRIS: You're gonna need a bigger boat!

  • *ding*

  • Ohh!

  • Now we're talking!

  • CHRIS: I've never seen you eat something so quickly.

  • JOEY: I fucking love sashimi like no tomorrow.

  • CHRIS: One of the benefits of cycling down the sea of Japan is you get nice fresh seafood.

  • But I'm enjoying today's challenge.

  • Been quite fun.

  • CHRIS: As of the next few days, or now,

  • I'm not sure when we're doing it.

  • You can actually see other challenges that've been posted to the site, so keep them coming.

  • Have a look at what other people have written.

  • If your challenge does get selected,

  • you actually get to win something.

  • JOEY: What do you win?

  • CHRIS: You win a T-shirt.

  • Tokyo Creative T-shirt.

  • JOEY: Ooh!

  • CHRIS: Ooh!

  • JOEY: I don't have one of those.

  • CHRIS: You wanna see second prize?

  • JOEY: Yeah

  • *knife sound*

  • CHRIS: Second prize is a set of steak knives.

  • Third prize is...

  • Third prize is...you're fired.

  • *ding*

  • JOEY: So we're about to go on this highway over here,

  • and it's really, really narrow, really close to the cars.

  • A little bit scared, not gonna lie.

  • *clacking noises*

  • CHRIS: My calculations are correct.

  • When this baby hits 88 miles per hour,

  • *more clacking*

  • You're gonna see some serious shit.

  • *ding*

  • Let's go.

  • CHRIS: Well guys, we made it to Joetsu just before sundown,

  • and it looks like Joey's got us a delicious treat to celebrate.

  • *bell dinging*

  • JOEY: Life is like a box of chocolates.

  • ...You never know what you're gonna get.

  • *ding*

  • *laughter*

  • CHRIS: Well guys, we've had a lot of fun today.

  • What was your highlight of the day, Joey?

  • JOEY: (muffled) Eating this box of chocolates.

  • CHRIS: I quite liked the romantic lookout point.

  • I have to say that was cool.

  • JOEY: That was cool.

  • CHRIS: And I certainly enjoyed all the quotes.

  • Lots of good memories of some good films there.

  • If you guessed what all the films are, go ahead and write in the comments.

  • Try and get all the quotes, I think there's about ten or something?

  • If you do write them in the comments and you get them all right,

  • I will highlight the first ten comments that I see where you got them all correct.

  • JOEY: You also get a box of chocolates!

  • CHRIS: Yeah, free box of chocolates as well!

  • Tomorrow is Joey's last day of the trip.

  • JOEY: Yeah.

  • CHRIS: It's very sad.

  • No matter where you might be watching from out there in the big wide world,

  • thanks for joining our trip and we hope to see you tomorrow.

  • Have a good one.

  • JOEY: Bye!

  • *bell dinging*

  • CHRIS: Er Joey, can you chuck me one of those chocolates?

  • JOEY: Ah.

  • Sorry.

  • All out.

  • *thud*

  • CHRIS: That's not true.

  • THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!

  • nooooooooooo

  • Ow.

  • Fuck.

  • *bell ding*

  • CHRIS: Anybody wanna see second prize?

  • JOEY: Dropping your hashi...

  • for the second time.

  • CHRIS: Second prize is a set of steak knives.

  • Third prize is...

  • *laughter*

  • ...You're fired.

Oh wow.

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