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  • I don’t really do collaborations

  • I never have time for such frivolous activities

  • particularly as I’m off busy making the world a much better place..

  • But this year I’ve been looking for ways of boosting this channel’s appeal to the Japanese demographic

  • which means I’ve actually got to put some effort in and do something.

  • So recently, when I was contacted by members of an idol group looking to take part in some sort of challenge with a foreign competitor

  • I thought good fortune had come my way.

  • Members from of an idol group called Kissbee, who’d nicknamed themselves the Samurai Girls

  • wanted to battle me and myJapanese friend with a British accent

  • in some kind of traditional Japanese game.

  • What follows is probably the closest experience I’ve had to being on a Japanese style tv show.

  • The Samurai girls saw it as an opportunity to have some fun

  • I on the other hand saw, it as an opportunity to destroy them with Marmite.

  • We agreed to meet the girls an hour south of Sendai,

  • in an old mansion called Sairiyashiki

  • with the kind of creepy atmosphere that seemed like a pretty fitting backdrop for our competition

  • So this is where were going to meet the idol group

  • Do you ever think this is quite weird, the whole youtube thing and the situations that arise.

  • I’m still trying to get my head around it myself.

  • But I’ll roll with it, let’s go and see what happens.

  • So what actually is this place?

  • So this is like a merchant’s place that’s over 100 years old

  • It does look pretty old

  • You're late!

  • You lazy ass!!

  • I’m not a lazy ass

  • And were not late either

  • Come inside

  • Get changed!

  • All right. Ok.

  • Is it a good idea?

  • You have no idea how long this took to put on.

  • I’ve never worn a Samurai costume before.

  • The only bonus that comes with it, is a real...

  • Careful! Bloody hell.

  • Is a real sword.

  • That could actually kill someone.

  • Oh my god.

  • This is shaping up to be a rather weird Monday.

  • Looking like this.

  • It’s definitely not awkward.

  • How you doin'?

  • Good.

  • The game we’d be playing is called Karuta.

  • An expression or proverb is read out and the aim is to find the card

  • Containing the first syllable of the sentence in Hiragana characters.

  • We’d be playing 5 rounds

  • With the winning team of each round being the first to get 3 cards on their side.

  • And to raise the stakes

  • One person from the losing team would have to forfeit each round with an unpleasant food item.

  • On our side I’d brought Black Liquorice, Marmite and Root Beer

  • Things that don’t go down well with Japanese taste buds

  • And the girls had brought Grasshoppers - actual grasshoppers

  • And a horrific slimy dish called Natto

  • A dish which makes me sick straight away when it goes anywhere near my mouth

  • It is quite honestly the worst food ever made by humans

  • Were going to kick your ass.

  • And I’m going to poison you with Marmite so good luck with that.

  • Alright, let’s get it going.

  • Let's get it started.

  • So quick!

  • Youre Japanese, youre supposed to read things quickly.

  • So quick!

  • We're strong!

  • They need one more and theyve won the first round.

  • You cover this part, I’ll cover this part.

  • We lost three rounds in about 20 seconds. Unbelievable.

  • Brilliant. Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant.

  • It’s all your fault.

  • Shutup.

  • Mr Sakurai, eat Marmite.

  • I thought I was eating something Japanese though?

  • Can you eat Marmite?

  • I don’t know.

  • That is a dangerous amount of marmite.

  • You could probably die of salt poisoning but it’d be a great video.

  • How’d you describe your feelings in three words.

  • I can’t swallow it.

  • I don’t want to win, if this is the sort of thing that keeps happening.

  • Disgusting!

  • If ever there was an incentive to win the next round, it’s that.

  • Alright come on.

  • So quick!

  • So quick!

  • It was your side.

  • No!!!

  • You won it. You won.

  • You lost.

  • Punishment.

  • 10 grasshoppers.

  • 10? 10!

  • 10 grasshoppers.

  • Ok, I’ll seppuku.

  • No! No seppuku.

  • 10!

  • I can barely eat it one. Look at it.

  • Really?

  • That’s not even funny.

  • Oh for god’s sake.

  • Do you feel legs?

  • Do you feel bodies?

  • Do you feel the organs?

  • Oh it’s horrible, why. It’s the worst texture ever.

  • Can I have root beer?

  • No root beer.

  • Root Beer! Root beer! Root beer!

  • My marmite is still in my mouth for god's sake. It tastes like it.

  • That was made for consumption.

  • This was an insect.

  • It’s a food as well.

  • No it’s not it’s a Grasshopper.

  • Oh for God’s sake.

  • Were not going to be able to play, because I'm just going to be sick all over all the cards.

  • I see the grasshopper legs stuck in your...

  • Shut up.

  • We have to win.

  • Three times.

  • Ok, this time. Alright.

  • First time.

  • Finally, Chris did it.

  • And I'm expecting a second time too.

  • What?

  • Wow!

  • Oh no!

  • One more.

  • This is bad.

  • Finally.

  • Revenge is a dish, best served with marmite.

  • You are going to have your mouth filled with marmite.

  • Good luck with that.

  • Your smirking face, won’t be smirking for much longer.

  • One bite!

  • Disgusting!

  • Delicious!

  • Revenge is just so rewarding.

  • Seeing that happen.

  • You gotta chew it.

  • Genuinely going to be sick.

  • This is brilliant.

  • In one English word how would you describe that?

  • No!

  • Probably a good word to use.

  • Rock paper scissors?

  • You got it.

  • Rock paper scissors

  • Paper beat rock!

  • No!

  • I forfeit because I touched the wrong card.

  • That was in front

  • It was there?!

  • Unbelievable.

  • I though it was there, it was right there. What an idiot I am.

  • There.

  • One more. 2-2, even.

  • Winner!

  • It’s time for Liquorice. And youre the only one who hasn’t had some sort of delicious snack.

  • Delicious?

  • People enjoy this in the UK.

  • Water please.

  • There is no water.

  • That was bad.

  • Such great friendship.

  • Last round.

  • Let's try our best!

  • I’m not sure who’s come off worse to be honest.

  • Everybody is pretty motivated now.

  • I got it!

  • This is bad.

  • Got it!

  • Oh shit. Oh dear.

  • We're the best!

  • Winner!

  • You!

  • It was your fault I got one! You got nothing. Nothing.

  • How old are you? 50? And you can’t even look at a card.

  • Unbelievable.