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  • I want to connect with people from my past.

  • But the person that I wanted to do this with the most is the first person that I ever fell in love with.

  • Player.

  • I really did think that she felt the same way.

  • And I was mad at her for a long time.

  • And it has been years.

  • There's a lot that's about that.

  • All right, let's see how it goes.

  • Okay.

  • Oh, my God.

  • I'm so nervous.

  • So I just parked outside of Blair's place.

  • I am, like, actually really, really scared.

  • I don't think I thought this through.

  • I don't know how it's gonna go.

  • Like, I don't know if she's gonna be excited, and if it's gonna be like I missed you And like, hugging.

  • Or if it's gonna be awkward and she's gonna be mad, like I don't know, I haven't talked to her.

  • I want to cancel.

  • I would literally die merrily.

  • I've said literally 10 times.

  • Why am I doing this?

  • Why am I doing what is wrong with me?

  • Okay.

  • All right, Texture.

  • Oh, my God.

  • Oh, my God.

  • Oh, my God.

  • It just texted her.

  • She's coming.

  • Oh, my God.

  • Oh, my God!

  • Oh, my God!

  • Oh, my God!

  • Oh, my God!

  • Oh, my God.

  • I'm genuinely gonna cry.

  • I'm so scared.

  • I can't believe I'm doing this.

  • Why am I filming us?

  • I don't know.

  • It's Julie Actually.

  • Shook.

  • Oh, my God.

  • Oh, my God.

  • Oh, my God.

  • Oh, my God.

  • I see her.

  • I see her walking.

  • Oh, my God.

  • Oh, my God!

  • Oh, my God.

  • Oh, my God.

  • Oh, my God.

  • Oh, my God.

  • Oh, my God.

  • I don't know.

  • Just died, okay?

  • I didn't know what he says to go over there.

  • And you?

  • My God, are you the same?

  • A little bit cleaner?

  • No.

  • Oh, my God.

  • How are you?

  • This is so weird that I'm filming this.

  • I'm sorry.

  • I don't do this, but this is so weird.

  • Hi.

  • Hi.

  • What do you mean you don't do this?

  • Like, I hope you people's reactions like eating, You know, that's weird.

  • Yeah, but like, I'm not meeting you like re meeting you got.

  • How many years has it been a long time?

  • Like I was trying to think about this.

  • I feel like the last time we saw each other was at some sort of either like Vidcon or something like that.

  • But we didn't really, like, talk to each other.

  • It was more just like a like, Hey, And then I just, you know, because I don't know what this is gonna I can tell.

  • And I don't either.

  • Well, what this is I'm shaking.

  • What?

  • This is as you know, it's so weird.

  • You think?

  • Wow.

  • Okay, there's a garbage truck, but it's fine.

  • Okay, so what are we doing?

  • So my whole plan waas I wanted to start a Siri's where I reconnected people from my past if you were my first thought Because the you are such a huge part of my life, man.

  • Because I have wanted to reconnect with you for so long.

  • And I was like, I want to do this on camera cause I wanna have it forever.

  • That sounds weird.

  • Really?

  • Here.

  • But it makes sense.

  • Well, okay.

  • Before we, like, get into everything, how do you feel?

  • Do you feel weird?

  • No, I don't feel weird.

  • I feel a little bit confused.

  • I don't know exactly like what your motivation is for doing this.

  • And that kind of like, scares me.

  • It's like an eye opening myself back up thinking that, like, I'm gonna get my best friend back.

  • And then, like, if you're just trying to, like, do this video, you know, it's like, Is this just for a video?

  • And then, like, I'm not gonna see him again for however many years?

  • No.

  • So I don't do that.

  • I don't even film my real life, like, ever, any more.

  • And that's why I'm like, Is this really life?

  • Me?

  • That's how you feel, right?

  • No.

  • This is real life, and we're gonna get into it.

  • I'm gonna turn the camera off, and then when we come back, we're gonna be talking more.

  • Go talk in my place.

  • I don't know yet.

  • I have no idea what's happening.

  • We'll see you guys in the second.

  • Okay, we are inside the apartment.

  • What am I doing?

  • Uh, no.

  • In all honesty, I turn the camera off.

  • We came inside.

  • We talked for, like, an hour.

  • Just like catching up about It's been an hour.

  • What you talking about?

  • I know what time guys know.

  • So we talked about, like, a lot of stuff, but we didn't really talk about like us.

  • So we're gonna get to that and I was like, We should fill in that part.

  • Hey, does mine look different?

  • I got another against drop things going.

  • Okay, so let's talk.

  • I wrote some stuff down, So here's the situation.

  • And I already told them about this.

  • And you already know about this because we've had very offer conversation about it.

  • So we started hanging out and we had a mole.

  • We have I thought it was a moment and maybe I was wrong.

  • So I want to hear yourself the moment Waas we were hanging out.

  • I don't remember.

  • It was the first time or whatever you talked about in your book.

  • Are you kidding me?

  • Of course I did.

  • Like everyone sent it to me.

  • They all knew it was me.

  • I didn't use her name Low.

  • You said like YouTube beauty goober that I used to hang out with.

  • You have a sister Also don't use todo, but yes, you talk about this in your book Was not our first time meeting, Al.

  • It was actually a while into us hanging out because we were already into the chicken.

  • Dino Nucky's phase of our relationship remember?

  • We would go to her house and get back of the dinosaur chicken nugget.

  • And then we would come back and watch telly part.

  • Now you send relationship chicken Dinah G's phase of our relationship.

  • Remember, Mimi, you said our relationship, our friendship, our relationship getting to this I am lying about it.

  • We're like, I I don't know why I would be taking out of my room instead of the living room.

  • You brought me up to your room now going in.

  • Listen, by the way, at this time, I never kissed.

  • I've never done anything.

  • I've never even been honored.

  • So I wasn't assuming this was a date.

  • I was like, Oh, I'm her friend like this is so fine.

  • I'm hanging with a pretty girl like you.

  • Look at her like this is fun.

  • You know what?

  • This is the night that I got my new DSLR camera, my rebel t three I and we were trying to figure out if I should fill on that I should keep using my Sony Cam Court.

  • Then we imported the footage on my computer because you were trying to teach me how to do final cut pro.

  • And that's where relieved we're on your best I'm sitting on your bed, right?

  • Yeah.

  • You sit next to me on the laptop.

  • I'm gonna Reina don't catch feels okay?

  • You're me and I'm you.

  • Right.

  • Okay.

  • So Oh, my God.

  • That's so I thank you.

  • I didn't know you.

  • Yeah, you bedded my arm here and you're like, You're so Harry E ready?

  • That looks so No, you didn't.

  • So So you did that right.

  • And my heart, like I literally felt like I was gonna barf.

  • Also nervous and I don't know to do.

  • And so I just kind of took it.

  • Kind of petted your leg or something.

  • I don't know what was going on.

  • And then we just hung out and we laid in bed and you fell asleep.

  • I remember this.

  • Yeah, I fell asleep next to you.

  • I didn't leave her all night, and I didn't know that until I read your book.

  • And that's what I wanted to ask you.

  • That was true work.

  • That was just to make the story more interesting.

  • But what happened that morning as you pretended to be asleep for, like, a second and then you woke up.

  • You were like, but I gotta go.

  • I gotta go.

  • And you ran outside with your car.

  • You immediately tweeted you immediately treated and then delete it.

  • And do you remember them?

  • Something like I just spent the night in the girls that for the first time Yes, and I sweat is not only through her sheets, but through her entire actress.

  • Yeah, and then you, like, deleted it immediately.

  • But I was awake at this point.

  • I was like, scrolling.

  • What does he need me like?

  • Selected a girl that I like?

  • Because you did.

  • But I didn't see it like that.

  • Like to me.

  • We were already so far into, like the brother sister, like Friendship Zone that I know.

  • But like to me, it wasn't like, Oh, my gosh, you guys slept over like it.

  • D'oh!

  • D'oh!

  • I It wasn't even like a possibility in my mind that it was gonna go to something else for me saying things like that to me.

  • It wasn't like we slept in the same that it was like we fell asleep and I agree.

  • Looking back as an adult, I look back.

  • I was like a cute episode of, like, glee or something.

  • I mean, that's a sweet sad kid like thought, whatever.

  • But in the moment, How do you explain the touching, the petting and the physic?

  • Remember, I still dream about it.

  • I don't explain why this was such a thing for me personally.

  • Like just being honest.

  • So I grew up fat, right?

  • Like, really fat.

  • And I lost weight into l.

  • A.

  • And you were in my entire life the first girl person to ever touch me.

  • And that way, and it might have been nothing to you.

  • What am I doing?

  • A brother sister thing.

  • But to me, I was like, she's leaning on me.

  • She's petting me.

  • Oh, my God.

  • And I like it, like, blew my mind cause I was like, Wow, maybe I'm not ugly.

  • Oh, that makes you wanna cry, too.

  • I mean, if you ask me today studio you led me on, I would say that there were definitely times that I probably did like taking you home to meet my family and stuff.

  • Which waas You remember why we were going back to him?

  • Well, let's get into so part to this saga.

  • So that happens, right?

  • I'm like, Oh, my God.

  • I'm in love with her.

  • Oh, my God.

  • This way we're going grocery shopping way were like a married couple, literally.

  • Right, But we haven't kissed nothing.

  • Right?

  • But my in my head, I was just like we're taking it slow.

  • Wait, take it slow.

  • She says, Hey, you want to come home to Tennessee with me or Hey, come home and meet my family.

  • Nobody wants to meet you, right?

  • I was like, Oh, my God.

  • Meeting the family.

  • So we go to Tennessee, which we were picking up.

  • Yeah, I defy home and get Teddy.

  • And you were there when I was booking the ticket.

  • And I remember being like, Oh, my gosh.

  • Do you want to come with me?

  • Like my whole family wants to meet you?

  • Everyone wants to beat you.

  • Do you want to come with me?

  • Like we'll make it fun?

  • We'll go to Dollywood, and you're like, you're like, Yeah, you booked your ticket.

  • Right?

  • Way go.

  • We go.

  • It's great.

  • We come back home and I'm still feeling weird that, like, I still felt like I don't know what's going on.

  • Right?

  • This went on for I don't even know what I think happened in Tennessee.

  • You know, ever.

  • Here's where a picture comes.

  • Okay?

  • Bring on this picture now.

  • You don't remember this?

  • I remember.

  • I know you still look at me with love eyes, and everybody knows everybody with all my friends, my mom.

  • Everybody said they're like, she looks at you like she loves you, right?

  • So me, it wanting it, I'm just like, yeah.

  • What's going on?

  • Why aren't we doing anything?

  • Tell me this does not look like you're looking at the love of your life.

  • It's, um if you saw that picture in a movie, what would you think was happening on the other side of that car?

  • I'm fine.

  • I really did.

  • Show him.

  • Show him all they see.

  • Okay, I can see what you're saying.

  • Like, I'm not gonna sit here and be like, Oh, no, she doesn't like you in real life.

  • It was a sport, right?

  • We finally I'm like, I need a I need to talk.

  • We need to talk.

  • So we parked the car in your car in a parking structure, and I'm just like, what's going on?

  • What's going on?

  • And you basically were just like I see like a brother.

  • You're my best friend.

  • Uh And then I was You didn't go home immediately because I got locked out of my apartment and you refused to let me sit there by myself.

  • But you're sitting there like with these, Like angry, but like sad, but also like, kind of mad eyes.

  • I didn't know how to handle it.

  • So I was like, trying to teach you how to play double Spinner on her phone.

  • Some fun.

  • You relive it way have a few years of randomly seeing each other.

  • You started dating somebody, whatever.

  • Whatever, whatever.

  • But we never fully like really talked about, which is what we're doing today.

  • We were still friends and would like to see each other.

  • Not to the point where we were like going to the grocery store and like making sweet tea and Dino chicken Annie's every night.

  • And remember, we have a song that we sing Is Dino Chicken nuggets were in the microwave.

  • What do you want?

  • You don't like them?

  • I don't like you really know.

  • You picked those as you like toe.

  • I thought you liked it either.

  • Well, Steve, here's what I think we should last go.

  • Let's go to sue pointed.

  • You like superstition?

  • Okay, Now you're you actually like this.

  • So we're gonna get a suit plantation, and we're gonna talk about where we are now, who we're dating now.

  • And also, I don't want you to think that I'm actually, like weird or awkward or mad at you or anything.

  • Like I genuinely love you so much.

  • And we were so young.

  • And this is like, really cute back except this wedding so I don't have any e o.

  • Let's go to the mattress.

  • Kidding.

  • Let's go eat.

  • I'm hungry.

  • Way Couldn't have chosen a more depressing place to do.

  • Wait, I want to talk to you about your relationship in mind, but we should get multiple angles recording, you know?

  • Okay, so let's talk about current relationship before we get to that.

  • Let's talk about the fact that one of the other things you did that made me think you liked me was way were walking by Hot topic with my old shirts.

  • Used to be there.

  • I'll show a picture here and it said Shame.

  • Johnson is my boyfriend, and you're like, Oh my God, I should get that Listen, that death stare I was trying to support your T shirts at hot topic.

  • I didn't.

  • There was your aliens.

  • And then when you left, your friend was like, So you know what?

  • I wasn't even with you When I bought that shirt and I did a giveaway.

  • I bought another one.

  • I was trying to support your new line at Hot Topic.

  • We weren't even together.

  • Way went in and looked at them a lot, but the time I actually bought it, All right, Fine.

  • Agreed to disagree, but let's move on to that.

  • Okay.

  • Okay.

  • So who are you dating?

  • What's he like?

  • Is he sucks.

  • No, you'll meet him, and you're, like, super ripped.

  • And like, super athletic and super cooling like, where's backwards hat and says like tight now.

  • I mean, he has a good body.

  • That good?

  • It's good.

  • Do you want to see you?

  • Can we see him?

  • I mean, you don't think dick pigs or, uh, no, I don't even have one.

  • Really?

  • No, I haven't, Albert, I guess even kind of way.

  • Show this.

  • Yeah.

  • I mean, this one.

  • Yeah.

  • All right.

  • Okay.

  • I mean, he looks good.

  • Yeah.

  • I'm glad that he is a good boyfriend for you.

  • And I'm really happy for you.

  • And I hope you guys work out.

  • He looks very nice.

  • He's a good person for me.

  • You're in your own relationship also, like not weird anymore.

  • So I'm dating a guy.

  • Yeah.

  • Which, like a lot of people ask me.

  • They were like, Did you ever like been set?

  • Did you like No, you didn't talk about the male butthole?

  • Oh, I questioned.

  • Maybe you were insured.

  • Deadly.

  • I didn't think you were gay or anything, but I was like, maybe he's interested in, like, trying it out.

  • Speaking of butts, we're gonna finish our meal.

  • You are all right.

  • It's, uh that's a E.

  • I mean, I don't know.

  • How do you feel?

  • It's good, right?

  • Yeah.

  • I mean, I feel like we're like friends again, right?

  • I hope so.

  • I think so.

  • I think so.

  • I thought you were gonna hate me That you're gonna be mad at me.

  • I thought you were gonna slap me or something.

  • I don't know.

  • I was just scared.

  • I thought you were, like, mad about the book.

  • I don't know.

  • No, I wasn't mad at all.

  • The only thing that I was like worried about us that you were gonna come on here and be like, Why did you lead me on so hard when like, in my mind said at that time I didn't feel like I was leading you on.

  • And like as an adult, I can look back to see Maybe some of the things I did could be portrayed that way.

  • So I was scared that you were just, like, still mad at me all these years later.

  • Not so.

  • I was, like, scared to reach out to you.

  • And I've written you so many like texts and stuff that I've just never sent You felt like you lost like your first love.

  • Almost didn't like as much as you felt like that.

  • I lost my best friend in that moment.

  • And so I was so scared that you were still gonna be mad at me.

  • And if I reached out to you, I didn't want the reaction to be like, Oh, yeah, it's good to hear from you, But let's talk about this.

  • Let's talk about how you like, fucked up and how you did all this crazy stuff to me.

  • And I didn't want to get into that cause I just wanted to remember our friendship as the good times and stuff.

  • And I really didn't want to have have it like a solid good bye.

  • I mean, I agree.

  • And I wanted to do this because of that.

  • Like, I kind of was using a video as a way to just hang out with you and see, like, if you hated me or not.

  • And I'm happy you don't.

  • I don't hate you.

  • Wait.

  • You're leaving your wife?

  • You know what I mean to make?

  • Like because, remember, no east.

  • Always get the cookies from the grocery store.

  • We put him on a cookie sheet and stick them in the oven.

  • I didn't like you didn't.

  • Okay.

  • I think I love them.

  • Okay.

  • You wanna, like, done hanging like you keeping, you know, we could, like, watch documentaries or something.

  • Okay.

  • Okay.

  • Okay.

  • All right, guys, we're gonna keep taking out against you.

  • No.

  • What?

  • What?

  • What?

  • Cookies.

  • By who?

  • Huh?

  • Oh, my God.

  • That waas a day?

  • Uh, no, that was really, really, really amazing.

  • We ended up hanging out for hours.

  • It is now night time, and it just felt really good to reconnect with somebody from my past who I really, really care about.

  • And it was awkward as fuck, but I like that.

  • I don't know.

  • I really enjoyed doing this.

  • And I hope you guys liked it because I really wanted to More.

  • I want to talk to somebody that hated me in high school.

  • I want to talk to family members.

  • Who?

  • I haven't talked to him forever.

  • I want to talk to my first hater on YouTube.

  • Like I want to do this type of stuff and I don't know.

  • I hope you like it.

  • If you want me to keep doing these, give me a thumbs up.

  • So I know.

  • Also make sure to go over to Blair's Channel, subscribe and check out the video she did over there where we filmed our night together.

  • And, um, it got more awkward.

  • You guys, I'm gonna go make sure it's gonna generate a bologna there.

  • Don't forget about all that crap, and, uh, I don't know.

  • I'm just really happy.

  • I'm gonna go inside and, uh, hang out with my boyfriend that I love and tell him that he has nothing to worry about him.

  • That I didn't fuck my ex.

  • That's not actually my ex.

  • Well, I just weird.

  • Hi.

  • Wait, Hold on.

  • What?

  • What the hell are they Have these little baby ice cream cones.

  • You just scoop the ice cream in here and then you have Ah, hello, Ice cream.

  • This is why I was in love with you.

  • Chain is about to be here, and I'm getting a little bit nervous.

  • I feel like I just got into a machine.

  • Um, wait about giving you the look.

I want to connect with people from my past.

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