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  • okay you guys we're doing it at 8:00 a.m. are shooting our marriage Q&A we

  • posted an Instagram post and we asked you guys if you have any questions we

  • didn't choose the question just it so we will see you you haven't read them yet

  • right I haven't read them yet so it's like real real time are you ready

  • here are the Quebec Sookie first question how to not get bored of the

  • relationship after a long time together remember when we first met and we had

  • like all this like exciting stuff and we were travelling everywhere in doing

  • stuff and Gary always told me every week just everyday yeah he's gonna be

  • Wednesday's Wednesday's will eventually yeah he always Toby's like now it's all

  • exciting and stuff that I wanted to know that there's gonna be those just like

  • regular simple boring days and I actually like those days the question is

  • basically how do I do not get bored how do you not get for it I think it's not a

  • question of being bored with a relationship I think it's a matter of

  • working on on yourself the fact that you're as busy as you are and I'm as

  • busy as I am rather than our relationship being kind of an everyday

  • boring thing it's what I go back to it's my own base it never gets boring because

  • we have each other I feel like boredom is a luxury I'm just like every minute

  • is is accounted for every minute is you know we're doing something that's my

  • exciting time because I get to reconnect with you so before the other person is

  • not there to entertain you I mean it's kind of your job to fulfill your life to

  • fill it up with things that you love career or hobbies or anything like that

  • when you have your own thing going on it's like when you spend that one-on-one

  • with your partner you cherish it more because you don't you're not together

  • all the time and garen I mean we work together so we we're together a lot but

  • we are not like together together you and I are both very passionate about our

  • you know all of our projects yeah but what I love about our relationship is

  • that we have this in common we have these things that we love so

  • much obviously the kids too we talk about the kids we talk about work so it

  • doesn't get boring because you're my you're my partner in life so we just we

  • do it all together have you ever been on the verge of thinking wow I just can't

  • do it anymore and if so how do you overcome it you know what I never

  • thought I can't do this relationship when there been overwhelming times with

  • the children it's more like I'm like wow I'm responsible along with you to raise

  • these two guys and now these three guys so that sometimes gets overwhelming when

  • I start projecting into the future that mark stresses me out

  • yes the day I met you I never looked back and thought all this wasn't like I

  • can't do this from a relationship perspective but this isn't the person

  • for me the moment I met you I was sure about you and I would never had any

  • doubt that you're the one for me for me I think because it was much

  • younger getting into like such a serious relationship I don't think I've ever

  • doubted that I want to be with Gary I've had times one kind of exactly the same

  • where I would wake up and I'm just like oh my god what is going on and this is

  • like so much it's too much I think it's normal and I don't even think that it's

  • kind of based on an age I definitely had panic attacks probably that are a little

  • more dramatic from you know because of my age because I'm just saying cuz all

  • my friends are doing other stuff right and I'm like 23 year old with a newborn

  • we didn't win Jake was just a baby he must have been

  • like maybe seven or eight months and we were out

  • somewhere and we had just heard of people that we knew who had split up

  • yeah and I remember you looked at me and you said oh my god like there's no

  • scenario in my mind or you and I are not together even though you may have had

  • those kind of moments where you had these these panic attacks when you heard

  • of an example of somebody who split up you right away said to me like I can't

  • even imagine that scenario I never felt that I was in the wrong place I never

  • like woke up and I was like this is not where I'm meant to be

  • I don't feel insecure in our relationship you you always make me feel

  • like everything is cool from the day that we've met you never once gave me a

  • reason to think like a weird like you never whenever your phone rang goes your

  • mom like it was it was never it was never anything you did to lead me to

  • believe that I can't trust you or that I'm not your biggest priority and I

  • think that for my past experiences and just talking to my friends a lot of

  • girls and I don't know why they do this thing where they feel that they have to

  • kind of keep a guy on their toes and they have to make him feel that he's got

  • competition you made me understand that there's no competition like you you got

  • me you're mine how did you know that you were going to

  • be spending the rest of your life together

  • when was the moment you understood you were going to last forever I had no I

  • had no doubts which was amazing because I was 38 or 39 and like you know I've

  • had girlfriends before but there was never any one moment before I met you

  • that I met somebody missed it all wow this is the one it was just it was you

  • it was always you and met you that's it not even one yeah it wasn't it was it

  • was like a young man's stupid whatever and I think a lot of guys make that

  • mistake they think it's real and then it turns out not to be real what element

  • did they can it makes them think it's real when it's

  • not people for the most part like especially guys when they're young they

  • don't understand I think yet what's important in life a lot of what drives

  • in this ego so when they need a woman who looks a certain way or comes from a

  • certain family or has a certain background or looks good on paper they

  • jump on it and they're just not doing it for the right reasons I already had

  • enough experience on in my life at that time and the good thing is is that I had

  • a better understanding of who I was yeah I think that's so I think that's

  • what's important the experiences that I've had since we got married in terms

  • of you know family professional integrating into your family with your

  • mom and your brothers and everything that's made me even more still realize

  • Who I am so it's it's it's really brought me a lot of I think wisdom in

  • peace you are very wise now well it's busy

  • what do you do when you are upset with your spouse as actually funny because I

  • was upset with you yesterday yeah you were and we talked about it in the car

  • yeah you talk about it you keep your voice low yeah you don't get excited

  • about it because if you remember the conversation we had yesterday it would

  • have been easy for it to accelerate into something that it doesn't need to be

  • yeah but we kept calm you acknowledged my position when you disagreed with me

  • you told me we talked it out and we settled on it I think that it depends

  • also on the couple I think you need to figure out what's your best way of

  • communicating maybe it's you know for you you need to take some time away from

  • the situation to really like you know compose yourself and not make it a

  • bigger deal than it is and then talk about it some people prefer to talk

  • about it right away because if they sit on it it's just gonna harbor to become

  • something bigger so I think it's really about figuring out what works for you I

  • think for you and I it's like we just discuss it at the end of the day or you

  • know just like later when we have time when it's quiet but it's not going on I

  • think it goes back also to the dynamic between two people I feel very much that

  • in our relationship and all the aspects of our relationship we're very much

  • equal how do you spend time each other while being busy with work

  • and with the kids this is a great example I think that we feel like so

  • much is going on right now and we have a newborn and you know we just kind of

  • felt like we need to get away you know overnight so we do those things

  • I think that we're very much trying to be in tune of when we need a break from

  • life for max was born Gary and I were traveling regularly like whenever we got

  • to a point we're like okay we just need you know we need time you and I just to

  • reconnect we'll make an effort to even take a hotel room just like do anything

  • that's just him and Ike how about jealousy do you ever get jealous with

  • Gary's female friends uh I didn't really interested the girls in the beginning

  • there was this there was one person where I just saying I just don't get it

  • yeah and now you feel silly for thinking that yeah but that's like just every you

  • know young girl who is a little bit insecure

  • it was completely silly but again he never made me feel that I need to be

  • jealous I never had a reason to not trust him he always makes me feel like

  • there's no other woman in the world with me I'm not a very jealous person we

  • should be more jealous to be honest with you you feel more wanted like I like it

  • when you get attention from women like remember when we were and in the cloud

  • and there's this one girl that came up it's a family channel so we can't say

  • what you did to me but back at me how no but what happens now is they can find

  • out and they'll be a little be a woman kind of looking at me and I'm feeling

  • kind of weird about it and then she'll approach me I should be

  • like hi and I'll be like hi you Blair's husband right that's me and that's why I

  • have a youtube channel yeah what makes Gary different from your previous

  • boyfriend's here definitely it's here but I think would Gary I felt something

  • that I've never felt before with any of you know my boyfriend's and I had like I

  • had AI dated good guys like they were all great but there were other jerks

  • there were boys it was different I never like this is the person from me and I

  • feel like with Gary just when I met him I don't know I just felt like this is my

  • person I can't explain it if you are in a relationship or you're married you

  • know that feeling you just feel like you know I think the biggest difference is

  • that I was very aggressive aggressive meaning a week after we met I told you

  • you were gonna be my wife yeah yeah exactly like a little crazy I thought it

  • also said something about you as a person you're just like a man

  • just came like mm valaria I want you to name one thing that bothers you and one

  • thing that you love about Gary and Gary you name one thing that bothers you

  • before Larry and one thing that you love about her

  • you go first no okay so the one thing that I love about you is everything good

  • I'm like real real I think you're you're distant

  • a lot you get into all the other stuff that's going on in your life but I

  • understand it because you you're dealing with a lot of stuff I would want more of

  • you I feel like that's my coping mechanism yeah you disconnect and I feel

  • like my mom says the same thing it manifests itself as different things

  • like when we talk and you're on your phone you know it just burns me up like

  • when you're on your phone we're talking and you're saying don't worry I'm

  • listening yeah I definitely have that quality I recognize it in myself as well

  • I feel like when there's so many things going on the way I preserve energy and

  • my sanity is that I go you know into my own little world one thing that bothers

  • me about you it's weird because it's like I have this hate of relationship

  • with it it's like you're always in business mode when we just have our

  • moments I know that you always think about business I kind of love it

  • sometimes but sometimes I just want to like shake you with me I just love it

  • does doesn't it I know I know you're I just I just love it so much but have

  • other thing that you like about me you missed that part

  • see you skipped over that completely but it's it's hard because what do you mean