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  • Trump's impeachment trial is already filled with drama.

  • Just look at the all-star defense team

  • President Trump put together, all right?

  • This is an insane team that Trump collected.

  • It's got Ken Starr, the lawyer who is famous

  • for doing the investigation

  • that led to Bill Clinton's impeachment.

  • And it's got Alan Dershowitz,

  • who's famous for defending O.J. Simpson.

  • So these lawyers are perfect for Trump

  • because they have experience with super-guilty people

  • and super-horny presidents.

  • -It's great. It's in combination. -(laughter)

  • But I will say this.

  • Trump's lawyers may want

  • to polish up their defense strategy,

  • because things have already gotten off to a rocky start.

  • WOMAN: The president's legal team offering

  • the first glimpse of their defense--

  • that the president did nothing wrong, did not commit a crime,

  • and that even the Democrats' argument of abuse of power

  • does not rise to an impeachable offense.

  • Something one of his lawyers,

  • Alan Dershowitz, maintained over the weekend.

  • The articles of impeachment are two non-criminal actions.

  • WOMAN: But many constitutional scholars disagree.

  • Trump's lawyer, Alan Dershowitz himself, once argued

  • the opposite during the Clinton impeachment.

  • It certainly doesn't have to be a crime

  • if you have somebody

  • who completely corrupts the office of president.

  • Yes, it turns out that over the past 20 years,

  • Alan Dershowitz's legal opinions have changed

  • as much as his hairstyles.

  • Because, you see, right now he's saying,

  • abuse of power is not an impeachable offense,

  • but back in the '90s, he says it was.

  • And, look, I mean, we all did something we regret in the '90s.

  • I mean, I walked around

  • in that Missy Elliott outfit for a whole year.

  • Yeah. Every time I left the house,

  • the garbage men tried to throw me in the truck.

  • But according to Dershowitz, according to Dershowitz--

  • this is really interesting-- what he said in the '90s was,

  • in fact, correct, and what he's saying now

  • is also, in fact, correct.

  • Previously, you said, it doesn't have to be a crime

  • if the guy... if-if the person in office

  • completely corrupts the office of president.

  • Now you're saying "criminal-like."

  • So you're not... So corrupting the office of the president--

  • is that in your criminal light or criminal-like, uh, behavior?

  • -No. No, it's not. -So it's not? So, so...

  • And that was rejected... That was rejected by the framers.

  • -So you were wrong back...? -Look, I have... I...

  • You're saying you were wrong back then?

  • I was saying that I'm much more correct right now,

  • having done all the research.

  • -Much more more correct? -'Cause that's the...

  • I didn't do the research back then

  • -because that wasn't the issue. -Okay. So you were wrong.

  • -Okay. -I did the research now.

  • I wasn't wrong.

  • I am just far more correct now than I was then.

  • -(laughter) -Wait. What?!

  • I wasn't wrong?

  • I am just far more correct now than I was then?

  • That is one of the most original lines

  • I have ever heard in my life.

  • And that's a great line for a lawyer.

  • But thank God this guy doesn't work on a bomb squad

  • 'cause that would be a disaster.

  • He would just be like, "Cut the yellow wire.

  • Wait. Cut the red one."

  • "I already cut the yellow one!"

  • "Yeah, well, I wasn't wrong about yellow,

  • "but the red one is more correct.

  • "Don't worry. We're not gonna die.

  • We're just gonna be less alive."

  • (laughter)

  • So, that's where Trump's "I love the '90s" legal team is at.

  • And we'll see them make their arguments later this week,

  • but today, today, the Senate was all about

  • establishing the ground rules of this impeachment trial,

  • and it sounds like it's gonna be a pretty tight ship.

  • It is an historic day in Washington

  • where the U.S. will meet in just a few hours

  • to start the impeachment trial

  • of the president of the United States.

  • WOMAN: For the senators today, it's gonna feel like

  • a really long day at school.

  • You know those cubbies that many of your kids have?

  • The senators are gonna have to put their phones and electronics

  • in those special boxes just off the Senate floor

  • because they're not allowed to have them there.

  • They're not allowed to speak

  • to the senators that are next to them

  • or read anything that's not related to the trial.

  • All of that on pain of imprisonment.

  • Technically, a senator could get arrested if they got up

  • to take a bathroom break that wasn't approved.

  • Damn.

  • No talking, no phones,

  • no unapproved bathroom breaks, or you could go to jail.

  • These poor senators.

  • This doesn't sound like a trial. It sounds like detention.

  • Yeah. Remember in school,

  • when you were just locked up, just sitting there?

  • I just imagined them sitting inside the Senate chamber now,

  • looking out the window, as Nancy Pelosi

  • and the others house reps play kickball outside.

  • Nancy's just like, "Wow. We're having so much fun.

  • "I can't wait to go to the bathroom

  • without getting arrested!"

  • (laughter)

  • Now, now, most of those rules are standard.

  • Those are standard rules for impeachment trials.

  • And they're designed to make sure

  • that the senators are paying attention

  • and that they're focused.

  • But Mitch McConnell has introduced some other rules

  • for this trial, and they're clearly designed

  • to get this thing over with as fast as possible.

  • WOMAN: If Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell has his way,

  • the vote to convict or acquit President Trump

  • will come sooner rather than later.

  • McConnell presenting his proposed trial rules

  • that break from the Clinton model.

  • Mitch McConnell releasing his long-awaited blueprint.

  • Each side will have 24 hours over just two days

  • to make their opening statements.

  • It means senators could have to sit for 12-hour sessions,

  • part of the Republican push for a faster trial.

  • But Democrats say Republicans

  • are trying to hide the president's misconduct

  • in the dead of night.

  • He could force presentations to take place

  • at 2:00 or 3:00 in the morning.

  • The McConnell resolution will result in a rushed trial

  • with little evidence in the dark of night.

  • Literally-- the dark of night.

  • (laughter)

  • The way he said that: "The dark of night.

  • Literally-- the dark of night."

  • But that is no joke-- 12-hour sessions

  • that last until the early morning.

  • That's cruel for anyone, especially cruel for this group.

  • I mean, these people are usually in bed by Wheel of Fortune.

  • No one's up here until 2:00 a.m.

  • And, you know, for a guy who shares so much DNA with turtles,

  • McConnell sure wants to move fast.

  • You know what I feel like? I feel like McConnell would be

  • the worst person to go on a date with.

  • You know? 'Cause he seems like one of those people

  • who would order the appetizer, the main course and the dessert

  • all at the same time, you know, just to rush things along.

  • He'd just be like, "Yeah, bring us the soup, the steak,

  • "the hot fudge sundae and the check.

  • "We're getting the check, This is all formality.

  • "We're just gonna smash. Meh.

  • "Yeah, just pour the soup on your steak. Meh.

  • Yeah, let's keep things moving. Meh."

  • (laughter)

  • Now, after some pushback from Susan Collins

  • and other moderate Republicans,

  • McConnell has now changed the rules at the last minute today,

  • so that each side would have three days instead of two days

  • to present their case.

  • And a lot of people are saying Mitch McConnell was wrong

  • to even try and rush this process in the first place.

  • But what people don't understand is,

  • Mitch wasn't wrong before,

  • -he's just more correct now. -(laughter)

Trump's impeachment trial is already filled with drama.