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  • last time you were here you were talking about and I say this to every time and I mean it.

  • And we've talked about this.

  • You are a very attractive person.

  • And yet you find fault with your anatomy.

  • Yeah, in specific ways, which I think is like that's That's a trap.

  • To do that you don't mean rather than just to be happy with yourself.

  • I know what I wish I could just accept myself, but I was I just have really low self esteem because I was born a woman.

  • And so, uh, Levi was born with it.

  • Maybe it's Maybelline.

  • It is making its proctor and gamble and everything, but I, uh no, I do struggle with it.

  • And something I've talked about on here, which is like a lot of people have responded to is that I talked about my vagina before and how I have what I described as a hastily packed suitcase down there.

  • And it's really freed me with you being thank you for letting me talk up.

  • Air it out on here literally.

  • It is not anything that I intended, but that's not what this show was built for.

  • I'm glad if it empowers you or makes you if it's therapeutic for you at all.

  • Really, Husband, because it's so let's be adult about it.

  • What about your vagina?

  • Are you unhappy about that?

  • Okay, I feel like a giant.

  • It's like the greatest thing ever invented was the problem.

  • I mean, I know that and that's the thing.

  • Like, I just feel like I want to get ahead.

  • I think I talk about it so much because I'm talking to men who might date me like I'm hoping someone might date me.

  • That's watching this and they're like, OK, I know she's got something down there And then when they see it, they're like, That's not that bad.

  • I'm like, you know, like I think I'm just kind of preparing them.

  • You're lowering the bar.

  • I see what you're doing.

  • I would I do that with my Penis all the time.

  • I've spent years going on This thing's a Mass, and then when someone finally got a look at their like, you know, it's not awful.

  • I was like, Hey, you know, that is it is a trick and I've done the same thing and I just I feel like but the thing is about I'm really freaking out right now because I'm single.

  • And I just kept struggling with the fact that I don't like going on dates because the expectation of sex and, um, I just don't I get nervous.

  • I get nervous about new penises, like having to see a new Penis.

  • So I would really appreciate what I'm like.

  • A new guy.

  • Yeah, that's like a recently manufactured You're gonna use that you're talking about that?

  • Yeah.

  • I think everyone has some anxiety about you see their body for the first time they see you.

  • Yeah.

  • Yeah.

  • Thank you for being empathetic about that, because I feel I feel nervous about it.

  • And I'm not talking about size.

  • I want to be clear about that.

  • That's that's like, 99% of it, but like the rest of it, No, it's not.

  • We'll see things that is, Yeah.

  • You know, if a guy's a micro Penis, honestly, I want to be very clear about this because I feel like so many men feel so much.

  • Shame about whatever they have down there and you obviously deserve love.

  • I would be with a guy with a micro Penis obvious.

  • I really would.

  • Thank you.

  • Well, you just You just saved that man's life care.

  • Don't put a camera on him.

  • I see a camera moving.

  • Don't put a camera on micro Penis, man.

  • God's sake.

  • I love that he volunteered that because that's that's that's what I want.

  • I want guys to feel good about because you can't have a good relationship with a guy with a micro Penis.

  • There's obviously ways around it.

  • You have toys, you have your hands, you can cheat on him like theirs.

  • No, you deserve love like anyone else.

  • And here's the thing about micro Penis is that I don't like.

  • Okay, so if you have one, if you're walking away, I got into this business.

  • I'll be honest right now.

  • Go ahead.

  • Go.

  • Either.

  • To be honest, go ahead.

  • Might hear about it.

  • Okay, so there's this thing.

  • I have not encountered one in the wild yet, but I have friends that have, and it's okay, but the guy will take it out and just be like it was just the Penis, like a normal Penis.

  • And it was like they gassed like you with their Penis as like so because they know as a woman you haven't seen enough to be like.

  • You could be like, I guess that's the way they are.

  • I haven't seen one as often as he has, so I guess this is a normal Penis.

  • But my point is just a little heads up pun intended that you might have something going on because I will say And that's why I wrote a whole special like about My vagina is to give a heads up to a guy.

  • Because if I if my labia were like on the floor, let's say and a guy was about to take off my pants, I would get I would warn him and be like, Listen, when you unbutton my pants, it's gonna be like like the court jester has, like a message for the King like there's going to be now.

  • You might hear a horn in your ear back.

  • Yeah, I would just like you're just give us some warning is all I'm asking for.

  • But this is also why I love hooking up in public because a guy can't take his Penis out because he'll be arrested and there's you don't to do anything with it because there's this thing that guys do.

  • When you hook up with them, you'll be making out or whatever.

  • And then the guy's Penis will just be out because he thinks, Well, this is And you just there's a part of you that's like, Well, I guess it's Penis time.

  • Like I didn't know.

  • I didn't hear the bell right on.

  • And you just do something to him because he's like, Yeah, this is what happens to you.

  • I must be crazy, Okay?

  • And then you get to work and you're like, Why am I doing this?

  • But you do it because as a woman, you something there like it would be so embarrassing for me to tell this man to put his Penis way.

  • He was brave enough hits encouraged to take it out.

  • I'm gonna I'm gonna shame him for them.

  • I'm ashamed.

  • My own boss for the leadership skills brought this company into the black, and I'm not gonna I'm gonna make him feel bad about So you end up doing something you don't want to dio.

  • I love looking up in public because if they take their Penis out, they're gonna get in trouble, and they could do stuff to you because you can just pretend that he's helping you with your snaps on your body suit.

  • It's like a manager of a restaurant is like, Take that outside and you're like, Well, it's it's the snaps and you have an excuse.

  • It's an inside job.

  • So when Now, thank you pre.

  • Sometimes that's all I've ever wanted.

  • And so this is the thing.

  • Now when I'm like making out with a guy and he's like, Let's go back to your place.

  • I'm always like, let's go to make out point And he's like, Where's that?

  • Like it's a playground.

  • So if you take your Penis out, you'll have to introduce yourself to your neighbors for the rest of your life.

  • It's just a perfect plan.

  • People like you've given this so much thought so much.

  • I'm really stumbling onto something.

  • Well, I think you helped a lot of people here.

  • I hope I did You help You help.

  • Ah, lot of women here tonight.

  • You help one man with I just every time I'm here and I'm not gonna I'm not gonna You can cut this later, but this blows my mind that I get to sit with you too, and be on this show.

  • It is truly a career dream.

  • Everyone in your crowd I heard the enthusiasm your old Conan heads.

  • I am thing.

  • So it's never been funnier.

  • It is like all your stuff you're doing online is so good.

  • The field piece tonight was incredible.

  • It is an honor to be here.

  • Thank you, guys, only we're not going to cut that.

  • We're gonna run that on a loop.

  • You're very kind to say all that.

  • Hey, for tickets to Nikki's, bang it out tour, Go to Nikki Glaser dot com slash tour.

  • We love it when you're here.

  • Nikki Glaser.

last time you were here you were talking about and I say this to every time and I mean it.

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