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  • (xylophone playing)

  • - Hey everybody, it's Michael Kosta.

  • - And I'm Roy Wood Jr., what is up with your hair, bro?

  • - Some people have bed head, this is quarantine head.

  • Have you filled out your bracket yet?

  • - March Madness is canceled,

  • what bracket are you talking about?

  • - The only bracket in town, dude,

  • basketball March Madness is canceled,

  • but Trump's Best Words.

  • Had 64, 2 million people voted it down to 32,

  • first word this round, stankchuary versus the United Shaysh.

  • - The state of California passed an outrageous law

  • declaring their whole state

  • to be a stankchuary for criminal.

  • And God bless the United Shaysh.

  • Thank you very much.

  • - Oh my God, did you see that?

  • His mouth almost fell out, shaysh.

  • - United Shaysh.

  • Let's check out another matchup,

  • how 'bout slock rocket versus the oranges.

  • - You know, we just started another slock rocket,

  • you saw that, right?

  • The stock market.

  • I hope they now go and take a look at the oranges,

  • the oranges of the investigation, the beginnings.

  • - Imma go oranges.

  • - All right, Roy's goin' oranges,

  • I'm gonna slock rocket,

  • but mostly because this week I've been watching

  • most of my retirement fund disintegrate.

  • - I'm go to dailyshowbracket.com and vote for these,

  • I know you at home, you aint got nothin' to do.

  • - Yeah, hey, don't tell anybody Roy,

  • I haven't showered in like six or seven days.

  • Who cares?

  • - Social distancin'.

  • - Woo.

  • (upbeat instrumental music)

(xylophone playing)

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