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  • Hi.

  • I'm Skeet.

  • All rich.

  • I play F B Jones, and I'm gonna attempt to catch you up on what happened in the 1st 3 seasons of Riverdale.

  • Wish me luck.

  • What is Riverdale?

  • Riverdale is a gritty reboot of Archie Comics.

  • And you love it.

  • Now we're going to get into the characters.

  • Archie is the all American football player that he starts off as the innocent girl next door.

  • But she's not that innocent.

  • Jughead is a brooding writer, A self proclaimed weirdo.

  • I'm weird.

  • Battles, crime and destruction.

  • Veronica is the rich, bad girl from the city.

  • My mom and I just moved here.

  • Here.

  • All the adults, the parents will get to them later.

  • Season one.

  • The big mystery of Season One is Who killed Jason Blossom.

  • Jason's body was found in Sweetwater River with gunshot knocker booze, hooking up with who?

  • Betty has a crush on Archie.

  • Amazing.

  • But Archie and Veronica, they get together.

  • Jughead and Betty start working on a newspaper.

  • And, as you know, Bug Head gets together.

  • Get back to the murder of Jason Blossom, who is suspicious.

  • Cheryl Blossom is Jason's sister.

  • Turns out she faked his death because he wanted to run away.

  • She's also the mean girl in school.

  • Stand down Now I have to explain the blossom family, so you get it.

  • Blossoms are very wealthy family in the maple syrup business, but is it moving on?

  • F P?

  • That's me.

  • What are you looking at?

  • Jug Head's dad figuring out how to run a biker gang.

  • An alcoholic?

  • I don't like my family.

  • Of course, I probably killed him.

  • Show really wants you to believe that I f p m the killer Don't trust the show.

  • Never trust the show.

  • F P is the leader of the surface Serpent King.

  • So what are the serpents who asked?

  • Serpents are biker gang.

  • They are on the wrong side of the tracks because Riverdale is divided north and south there on the south side.

  • Hence the Southside serpents there, your typical gang, they deal drugs.

  • They beat the shit out of people that you up.

  • Now here's the twist.

  • Jason was dealing drugs for the Southside serpents.

  • Jason was dealing drugs to make enough money to take care of his soon to be born baby that he's having with Betty's sister Polly.

  • The real reason Jason ran away was because of Polly.

  • Polly and Jason were engaged secretly so that the blossoms didn't find out because they didn't like folly was pregnant with twins, so they were gonna leave.

  • Are you with me so far?

  • Okay.

  • Here.

  • The things we don't have time for our cheese music career.

  • Also, Artie was dating his music teacher, Mrs Grundy on.

  • Then there's Dark Betty, Betty and Veronica joining the cheerleading team in the whole Josie and the Pussycats Plotline and Fred Andrews and F Piece construction company hijinks.

  • Also Archie attending a maple tapping ceremony For some reason, oh also readies.

  • That is a blossom.

  • So Polly and Jason Baiting was pretty ancestral.

  • Welcome to River.

  • So F p confesses.

  • He says he took Jason for ransom and then he has to kill him when you shot.

  • When we were doing the table read, I was pretty sure that I was the killer.

  • Yeah, this is a big point, and playing F is to create the bad guy so that redemption is much sweeter later on.

  • But that's just a red herring.

  • And now another twist.

  • Jason's dad is the killer.

  • Our core for our heroes.

  • Find USB drive with footage of Clifford killing his son.

  • It turns out Clifford was just blackmailing F.

  • P so that he would fall for the crime.

  • So f P has to protect Jughead.

  • He does not take the rap for the murder.

  • Clifford Blossom will kill Jughead.

  • Spoiler alert.

  • Inside the maple syrup barrels, drugs, drugs, drugs and the big cliffhanger for the end of season one.

  • Jughead becomes a serpent and Fred Andrews takes a bullet.

  • Okay, All right.

  • Season two, which was even longer.

  • The big, overarching mystery for Season two.

  • Who is the serial killer?

  • The Black Hood.

  • So the Black Hood's modus operandi is to kill sinners.

  • Drugs.

  • Who had an affair?

  • Brings up a lot in Riverdale.

  • Okay, here we go again.

  • Season two.

  • Who's hooking up with Who here?

  • The love triangles.

  • Archie and Veronica Break up.

  • Jughead and Betty break Jughead and a new character, Tony.

  • They kiss Artie and Betty Kiss, and then everyone gets back together.

  • Okay, that's out of the way.

  • Who is suspicious this season?

  • Who could The Black Hood?

  • I'm in jail, so it ain't me.

  • Okay, so there's another gang in Riverdale.

  • The goalies.

  • They are the enemies of the serpents, you better get used to it.

  • They are the ones dealing drugs, and they have a new drug called Jingle Jangle.

  • Let's move to something with a little more kick.

  • Is that jingle jangle?

  • Yes, it is.

  • So Jingle Jangle is a cookie that comes out around Christmas in Los Angeles at a grocery store called Trader Joe's, and our writers got addicted to them.

  • So our drug, it's called Jingle I.

  • In fact, what do you mind a little sugar to spice up this party?

  • That's my theory, anyway.

  • So what is Jingle jangle?

  • It looks like a pixy stick, but it's kind of like meth.

  • This all comes back to the Black Hood because he's killing centers.

  • If you're doing jingle jangle, you're in trouble.

  • Season two introduces Hiram Lodge, who is probably the most suspicious character Riverdale has ever seen.

  • Yes, he's a mob boss who's also Veronica's dad.

  • Hiram starts buying up property in Riverdale, but what four.

  • And as it turns out, twist Hiram is behind the jingle jangle.

  • Meanwhile, F P is exonerated and gets released from jail, and he is mad.

  • F P says he will never retire from the Serpens.

  • Also we introduced Chick, It's cheek.

  • We think he's Alison F.

  • B.

  • Son, but it turns out he's an impostor.

  • He's a drug dealer.

  • A Web camera.

  • Okay, here, the things we're not gonna talk about.

  • Archie starts a vigilante group called the Red Circle to keep Riverdale safe.

  • Everyone is running for student government.

  • Archie and Hiram start working together.

  • Betty becomes dark again.

  • Cheryl gets sent to gay conversion therapy at the Sisters of Quiet Mercy will get back to them later.

  • They suspect the school janitor of being the Black Hood.

  • Andy Cohen shows up to endorse Veronica's mom for mayor and a gangster named Poppa.

  • Poutine also shows up.

  • He owns a chain of hot dog restaurants.

  • Go back.

  • We just want you hurt.

  • Cheryl joins the serpents Betty Striptease to Mad World.

  • Not talking about that.

  • There's a musical episode of Carrie, where the lead is killed by the Black Hood.

  • How is it all connected?

  • Betty's dad.

  • How Cooper is the Black Hood.

  • There's a black hood.

  • Season two Cliffhanger.

  • P.

  • Jones isn't retired.

  • F P lied.

  • He retires from the serpents and hands it over to Jughead, and Archie is framed for murder.

  • What stretch.

  • All right, Season three.

  • The big mystery is Who is the gargoyle king and what is a gargle again?

  • People are dying in Riverdale this time.

  • It's by a blue poison kind of cyanide liquid.

  • Everyone gets hooked on a game called Griffins and Gargoyles.

  • Griffins and D'Argo's is kind of like D and D.

  • It goes back to the kid's parents playing it in high school, including Effie.

  • Cole had to play me in the flashback episode, and he had a lot of questions for me, none of which I would answer.

  • He tried to be as cool as I was in the nineties.

  • He couldn't do it.

  • This is a role playing game.

  • Oh, well.

  • Okay.

  • Back to the Love triangle.

  • Season three.

  • Who's Hooking up?

  • Veronica and Archie break up after Archie's in juvie and then breaks out.

  • Veronica gets together with Reggie.

  • Artie gets together with Josie Jughead, Betty, stay together.

  • Archie and Veronica get back together.

  • Back to the mystery.

  • So who is the gargoyle king?

  • Jughead thinks it's Hiram.

  • Hiram is eliminating people who challenge him in Riverdale.

  • Hiram takes over.

  • The whole town, poisons the water supply with a drug called Fizzle rocks are allowing them to put these dangerous chemicals into their body.

  • Okay, what?

  • I need to explain this.

  • Do not confuse fizzle rocks with jingle jangle A sentence I never thought I'd say In my life Fizzle Rocks is making people hallucinate.

  • They think Griffin's and gargoyles is a really game, that it's really life, and they start killing themselves.

  • So the Sisters of Quiet Mercy, a convent is testing the drug on patients.

  • Who's behind that?

  • Hiram is using these drugs mind control.

  • And here's a twist.

  • F P becomes sheriff.

  • Who would have thought?

  • I figured as much.

  • So who else is suspicious?

  • There's also a cult called The Farm and Chad Michael Murray is the leader.

  • A lot of people from the town joined the cult.

  • By the way, the farm is harvesting organs.

  • Things were not going to talk about you.

  • Ready?

  • Archie is forced into an underground boxing ring In prison.

  • Cheerleaders do a jailhouse rock show for the prisoners.

  • Archie and Jughead run away to a deserted old drug town.

  • Archie gets mauled by a bear, survives and dyes his hair.

  • Veronica opens a nonalcoholic speakeasy called Laban.

  • We underneath pops, they're more new gangs, the gargoyles and the pretty poisons.

  • Everyone has seizures because of fizzle rocks.

  • Moose's dad dresses as the Garbo king to scare his son straight.

  • Cheryl thinks Jason came back, but really the farm was harvesting his organs.

  • Kelly Ripa is a water inspector.

  • Cheryl Waterboard her mother with maple syrup tallboy a serpent also poses of the garden looking Betty burned her house down.

  • And there's another musical episode.

  • It's others and they all took the S A T s Wow, All that happened Twist Chick is guard.

  • Okay, so how never actually killed Chick Chick became House apprentice?

  • And who's behind it all?

  • Penelope Blossom.

  • She's the one pulling the strings.

  • Also, Penelope was behind all of the Black Hood's doings in Season two.

  • Big cliffhanger for Season three is Spring Break Senior year.

  • They're all covered in blood.

  • That's the best I can do.

  • Explaining.

Hi.

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