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  • ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: WELCOME BACK!

  • WE WERE HAVING FUN IN THE COMMERCIAL BREAK.

  • I HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT, TOO.

  • WE'RE HERE WITH JOHN OLIVER.

  • JOHN, SEASON 7 SUNDAY, YOU HAVE A FANTASTIC AD CAMPAIGN COMING

  • OUT.

  • >> YES.

  • >> Stephen: IF THERE'S HOPE FOR HIM, THERE'S HOPE FOR ALL OF

  • US.

  • >> YES.

  • THAT'S OUR POST-IT.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )

  • >> I LOVE THIS.

  • I LOVE THIS SO MUCH.

  • >> ME, TOO!

  • >> Stephen: THIS IS THE MOST HONEST AD I'VE EVER SEEN.

  • >> IT'S THE MOST HOPE I THINK WE CAN PLAUSIBLY OFFER.

  • I FORGOT IT WAS COMING OUT LAST WEEK AND I SAW A BUS PULLED UP

  • IN FRONT OF ME AND THERE WAS A GUY STANDING NEXT TO ME AND HE

  • LOOKED AT ME AND SAID WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO YOURSELF?

  • ( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: AND IN TIMES

  • SQUARE!

  • >> IN TIMES SQUARE!

  • >> Stephen: THERE YOU GO.

  • ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( PIANO RIFF )

  • EVERYONE TRIES TO LOOK AS SEXY AS THEY CAN.

  • >> WE'VE DONE THE IMPOSSIBLE.

  • WE'VE MADE TIMES SQUARE A GENUINELY WORSE PLACE TO BE.

  • IF I WAS WALGREEN'S THERE, I WOULD BE SO MAD.

  • WE'VE GOT NO CONTROL OVERT IT.

  • IT'S AMAZING.

  • >> Stephen: PEOPLE GOING INTO THIS WALGREEN'S RIGHT HERE TO

  • BUY BIRTH CONTROL LOOK AT THAT AND GO, NEVER MIND.

  • WE'RE GOOD.

  • >> WE'RE GOOD.

  • WE'RE GOOD.

  • >> Stephen: NO NEED.

  • NOT A PROBLEM.

  • MONEY BACK IN THE POCKET.

  • >> Stephen: WHO IS THIS KID'S CRUSH?

  • HOW OLD ARE YOU HERE?

  • >> I WAS THERE PROBABLY 15, 14.

  • >> Stephen: 14, 15?

  • YES.

  • >> Stephen: WHO WAS THIS KID'S FIRST CRUSH?

  • >> MY FIRST CRUSH?

  • I WAS ASKED THIS THE OTHER DAY.

  • I NEVER THOUGHT WHAT YOUR FIRST CRUSH EVER WAS AS A HUMAN BEING,

  • AND I THINK MINE WAS EEYORE FROM WINNIE THE POOH.

  • >> Stephen: REALLY?

  • YEAH.

  • >> Stephen: HE WAS LONELY AND YOU WANTED TO MAKE HIM FEEL

  • BETTER?

  • >> I LIKED HIS GENERAL AURA OF NEGATIVITY PLUS DUMPED LIKE A

  • TRUCK.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: SURE.

  • BUT, YEAH, I THINK WHAT I REALLY RESPONDED TO WAS THIS

  • KIND OF -- THIS MANAGEABLE SADNESS THAT HE HAD.

  • SO I THINK THE FIRST THING I FELT REALLY DRAWN TO WAS

  • PROBABLY EEYORE FROM WIN ANY THE POOH.

  • >> Stephen: OKAY.

  • 90% UNSEXUAL WAY.

  • >> Stephen: SURE.

  • SEASON 7 IS ABOUT TO LAUNCH RIGHT NOW.

  • >> YES.

  • >> Stephen: CONGRATULATIONS.

  • THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

  • ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: HOW LONG AGO

  • WAS -- HOW MANY YEARS AGO WAS SEASON 1?

  • SEVEN YEARS?

  • >> SIX YEARS.

  • IT WAS 2014.

  • >> Stephen: D YOU REMEMBER WHAT THAT WAS LIKE?

  • WHEN YOU START OFF A NEW SHOW, A MILLION THINGS GOING ON.

  • >> WE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT WE WERE DOING.

  • WE HAD NO IDEA.

  • I STOOD IN FOR JON STEWART THAT SUMMER ""THE "THE DAILY SHOW."

  • I HOPE HE WASN'T LOOKING.

  • ( PIANO RIFF ) THAT WAS A VALID ATTEMPT.

  • YEAH, SO THAT SUMMER I RAN IN JON'S PLACE WITH CARVELLE.

  • WE WANTED TO SO 'DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT BUT WE DIDN'T KNOW

  • WHAT IT WOULD BE.

  • WE DIDN'T KNOW PEOPLE'S ATTENTION SPAN FOR THINGS WE

  • WOULD BE DOING.

  • WE HAVE BEEN PLEASANTLY SURPRISED.

  • PEOPLE SEEM WILLING TO SIT FOR A WHILE AND LISTEN TO THE DRYEST

  • OF SUBJECTS.

  • >> Stephen: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE.

  • >> THANK YOU.

  • >> Stephen: SEASON 7 OF "LAST WEEK TONIGHT

  • WITH JOHN OLIVER" STARTS SUNDAY ON HBO.

  • JOHN OLIVER, EVERYBODY!

  • WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK!

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: WELCOME BACK!

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