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  • 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,933 - DID YOU HAVE A GOOD WEEKEND?

  • [cheers and applause]

  • ARE YOU EXCITED THAT IT'S MONDAY?

  • all: YES!

  • - WOULD YOU CHEER NO MATTER WHAT I SAID?

  • all: YEAH!

  • I HAD A REALLY GOOD WEEKEND.

  • I MENTIONED BEFORE, PORTIA AND I MOVED RECENTLY.

  • WE SPENT SATURDAY UNPACKING, AND--

  • WELL, PORTIA UNPACKED AND I POPPED BUBBLE WRAP,

  • BECAUSE THAT IS-- THERE'S NOTHING MORE FUN

  • THAN POPPING THAT.

  • AND WE SPENT ALMOST THE WHOLE DAY

  • TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHERE TO PUT THE COUCH,

  • AND WE COULDN'T FIGURE OUT WHERE TO PUT IT,

  • SO ON SUNDAY, WE PACKED UP EVERYTHING--WE'RE MOVING AGAIN.

  • 'CAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO PUT IT.

  • I ALSO SPENT SOME TIME OVER THE WEEKEND WATCHING WEB VIDEOS,

  • AND I WANT TO SHARE SOME WITH YOU THAT I ENJOYED

  • 'CAUSE IF I SEE IT AND I THINK IT'S CUTE, YOU SHOULD SEE IT.

  • SO HERE'S AN ADORABLE BABY WAKING UP FROM A NAP.

  • [upbeat music playing]

  • [cheers and applause]

  • AH.

  • SEE, NOW I WANT A BABY.

  • SHE'S NOT GONNA LIKE IT, BUT PORTIA WAKES UP THAT SAME WAY

  • EVERY SINGLE DAY.

  • HERE'S A GUY GETTING SCARED BY HIS FRIENDS.

  • BEST EPISODE IS DEFINITELY ONE WITH--PISS OUT BY--

  • [gasps]

  • WHAT THE [bleep]?

  • [bleep]? [laughing]

  • DUDE. [laughing]

  • [screams]

  • OH!

  • OH!

  • [cheers and applause]

  • - OH.

  • [sighs]

  • THAT GAVE ME AN IDEA.

  • HEY, ANDY-- NO, I'M KIDDING.

  • I'M NOT GONNA SCARE YOU. [laughter]

  • NOT YET, BUT I WILL.

  • [laughter]

  • ALL RIGHT.

  • NO, I'M NOT GONNA SCARE YOU.

  • [laughter]

  • [laughter]

  • ALL RIGHT.

  • HERE IS A VERY, VERY PATIENT CAT.

  • audience: AWW!

  • - AWW.

  • NOW I WANT A BABY, A KITTY, AND A PUPPY.

  • [cheers and applause]

  • HERE IS A DOG GETTING OUT OF A DOGHOUSE.

  • - OH, MY GOSH.

  • IT'S A CLOWN CAR.

  • OH, MY GOSH.

  • ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE.

  • FIVE DOGGIES?

  • audience: AWW!

  • [cheers and applause]

  • - SO TO YOU PARENTS OUT THERE,

  • IF YOUR KIDS COMPLAIN ABOUT SHARING A ROOM,

  • SHOW THEM THAT VIDEO.

  • HERE IS-- I'LL SHOW THIS TWICE, 'CAUSE THIS IS AMAZING.

  • THIS IS AN AMAZING GOLF TRICK.

  • click! whack!

  • audience: WHOA.

  • - THAT WAS COOL.

  • [laughter]

  • - YOU CAN SEE THE GUY IN FRONT,

  • THEY'VE TRIED THIS MANY, MANY TIMES,

  • 'CAUSE THERE'S A BUNCH OF BALLS RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM,

  • BUT LET'S SHOW IT ONE MORE TIME.

  • click! whack!

  • audience: WHOA.

  • - OH, MY GOSH.

  • THAT WAS COOL.

  • - THAT'S-- [laughter]

  • I CAN DO THAT, BUT I'M NOT GONNA DO IT.

  • [cheers and applause] I CAN, THOUGH.

  • [cheers and applause]

  • HERE'S SOMEONE BEING INTERVIEWED ON THE NEWS.

  • - THAT'S THE MEDIA/ENTERTAINMENT SIDE.

  • - OKAY, DR. WAYNE HOPE,

  • THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING IN THIS MORNING

  • TO ENLIGHTEN US ON RUPERT MURDOCH.

  • THANKS VERY MUCH.

  • WELL, STILL TO COME, WHO'S BEEN SLEEPING OUT IN THE COLD

  • TO DRAW ATTENTION TO HOMELESSNESS IN NEW ZEALAND.

  • AND WE'LL BRING YOU MORE ON THE KIM DOTCOM SAGA

  • AS HIS LAWYER TELLS FIRSTLINE

  • THE NEW ZEALAND AUTHORITIES HAVE BEEN OVERREACTING.

  • BUT NOW IT'S TIME TO LOOK AT THE SPORTS STORIES

  • MAKING NEWS THIS MORNING.

  • HERE'S SAM.

  • - THANKS, SIMON.

  • [laughter] - [sighs]

  • HE DOESN'T KNOW CAMERAS WERE ON.

  • ALL RIGHT, THIS IS NOT ON THE INTERNET YET,

  • AND THE ONLY REASON IT IS

  • IS 'CAUSE IT JUST HAPPENED RIGHT BEFORE THE SHOW.

  • [Nicky Minaj's "Super Bass" playing]

  • [cheers and applause]

  • ALL RIGHT.

  • THAT'S FANTASTIC.

  • IF YOU HAVE A WEB VIDEO YOU THINK I SHOULD SEE,

  • PLEASE SEND 'EM TO ME.

  • RIGHT NOW LET'S ALL TRY TO TOP THAT DANCE THAT THEY JUST DID.

00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,933 - DID YOU HAVE A GOOD WEEKEND?

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