-♪ Today started just like any other day ♪

♪ I woke up to my alarm at half past 8:00 ♪

-♪ I drank a cup of coffee, read the paper,

ate a scone ♪

♪ Then I turned my attention to my phone ♪

♪ And something happened that I cannot undo ♪

♪ Something so devastating, I must tellin' that a-you ♪

♪ I liked an Instagram post ♪

♪ From 2012 ♪

♪ On somebody's page ♪

♪ That I don't know super-well ♪

♪ I can't believe what I did ♪

♪ There's no coming back from this ♪

♪ I'm selling all of my stuff ♪

♪ And moving to France ♪

-♪ I just bought a wig ♪

♪ And some shades ♪

-♪ I packed a bag ♪

♪ And brought cash for 80 days ♪

♪ I'm getting a fake passport ♪

♪ That says I'm from Duluth ♪

♪ Gonna get on a plane ♪

♪ Now my name is Craig ♪

-♪ Now my name is Craig ♪

-♪ I'm going to kill everyone who knows what I did ♪

-♪ I'm gonna bury the bodies in a public park ♪

-♪ I'm gonna work on a dock in the South of France ♪

-♪ I'm gonna be on the run till I die ♪

-♪ Be on the run till I die ♪

♪ I liked an Instagram post ♪

[ Cheers and applause ]