Subtitles section Play video
-
hey it's Stephan Erdman here alright now if you know me then you know that i believe
-
that any man
-
can attract women
-
any man can be great at that
-
any man can get
-
girlfriends
-
have great relationships
-
if they put their minds to understanding
-
what makes the process work
-
how women get attracted to you
-
how you need to follow certain principles
-
that will make it easy for you and how you need to avoid certain things that
-
may feel great
-
when they're happening
-
but at the same time
-
uh... actually obstruct the process
-
one of those things that feels great
-
but actually obstructs the process
-
very often of her becoming attracted to you
-
is that moment when we notice that
-
she is perfect
-
when we notice oh she is our dream girl and we see this one girl and we go wow
-
you know I want her to be my girlfriend
-
i'm in love
-
i'm feeling it
-
it's amazing
-
i've never felt like this before she's perfect
-
you know she makes my
-
heart sing my stomach
-
getting butterflies and all that stuff
-
and we get so overwhelmed with that feeling that what happens next is we are here
-
let's see we are here
-
and
-
basically
-
we are seeing ourselves here
-
with her
-
that's a skirt
-
okay we see ourselves here and we are visualising that
-
this is the end goal and we go straight here in our minds right we imagine
-
ourselves
-
together you know whatever making babies yeah
-
we go straight there right and we hope that
-
because we are so overwhelmed with our feelings so excited about it
-
that naturally
-
she must feel the same way when we tell her that we are so excited about it and
-
we are so excited about her and she means so much to us
-
and because you know what if somebody did that to us we think that would be
-
wonderful right
-
so why doesn't it ever work out that way or very rarely
-
well because what we forget is that
-
it doesn't matter whether we attracted to her
-
what's much more important is that she becomes attracted to us
-
nothing is going to happen with her
-
just because we are attracted to her
-
something is going to happen if
-
we are attracted to her
-
but if she becomes attractive to us now i know that sounds really obvious
-
but very often because we get so overwhelmed with our feelings
-
we forget but that is actually the key thing here right
-
she needs to become attracted to us
-
when we jump straight ahead into this thing
-
what happens naturally
-
we want to tell her how much we love her
-
what she means to us and we will know you know
-
ask her out and let her know how much she means to us and
-
you know give her wonderful things and take her to dinner
-
show her how much we like her
-
and what's the reaction usually
-
well women get faced with this situation are
-
oh my god ok this guy really likes me
-
now
-
clearly
-
he's pushing in this direction so what i need to do
-
is either go with that
-
or
-
block him off right
-
so women are presented with this choice of either
-
going along with something that they don't yet experience themselves
-
so they feel pressure
-
to go along with what you are going to do which is getting intimate quickly
-
because you know it's right and you feel great about it
-
or to
-
keep distance and block you off and you know what say i'm not attracted to you but we can
-
be friends or whatever
-
so they're quickly
-
have this pressure of oh my god
-
whether i say yes or no
-
will either make him
-
you know very happy or very destroyed and i basically have his life in my hand
-
okay
-
because that's what it sounds like and looks like to her
-
when we want to go straight there yeah
-
make sense
-
so
-
women never get a chance to become attracted to you in this process
-
do you understand?
-
women in that process they don't become attracted to you because they never get the chance to
-
see you grow on them yeah unless they're instantly attracted to you which is not
-
very often to be honest
-
then they don't really get the chance to
-
you know get to know you
-
get to grow some affection some trust with you get to
-
grow some attraction to you
-
and go step by step
-
so what's the key to this
-
look this is a line yeah
-
if you want to go from there being by yourself and dreaming of her... to here
-
being with her
-
then there are lots of steps
-
to take here okay
-
step-by-step process
-
and when we jump ahead
-
we mess up okay
-
what's the first step
-
building some trust
-
at this stage she still i think you know there's this guy who really likes me he's kind
-
of good looking but I mean
-
i don't know out
-
do I know him
-
so is he gonna be weird is he just going to try it
-
uh... have sex with me and
-
then fuck off or
-
what's he gonna do i mean i don't know yet
-
there's a bit more at stake for women than for men yeah
-
so
-
first step building trust once you built trust
-
second step might be
-
depends might be to
-
well
-
laugh for the first time together and i have
-
have a bit of a laugh maybe flirt with her
-
you know so that might be the second step third step might be to
-
uh...
-
be a little bit physical playfully
-
get comfortable touching each other getting familiar physically as well right
-
next step might be uh...
-
you know
-
being
-
inviting her over dinner and being an environment where
-
you and her are
-
by yourselves you and her
-
after having built some trust after having built some attraction after getting a
-
bit comfortable physically and building that trust as well that you
-
you know that you know how to handle yourself and that you're not weird or creepy or
-
whatever
-
okay then you might be in an apartment together with her you know maybe you're kissing or something okay
-
that builds more familiarity
-
then maybe having sex right
-
that again builds intimacy yet then maybe you're having you are starting to tell each
-
other some some stuff
-
about each other that is deeper like something that builds even more trust
-
more trust
-
and maybe there's more attraction building from that maybe there's more physical
-
intimacy building from that
-
and then
-
at that stage
-
you can talk about any of this stuff if you want
-
but all of these steps
-
need to be taken and crucially they also need to be enjoyed by you
-
so
-
the key with this is
-
you want to focus on this step first
-
then you want to focus on this then you want to focus on this then you want to focus on this
-
then you want to focus on this then you want to focus on this and then you can focus on that
-
you don't want to go straight from there to there but want to go there there there there there
-
there there there
-
does this make sense
-
step
-
by
-
step
-
so that she is with you every step of the way rather than
-
you're jumping all the way ahead and then you're basically like forcing her to
-
make an instant life or death decision on your behalf
-
whether you're going to be happy
-
and overjoyed
-
or forever destroyed
-
because for
-
because the risk is for her
-
if she goes along with it while you're jumping ahead
-
like she might have to finish with you i've been three days yet because she
-
does not feel it yet or does not not trust you yet she doesn't even know whether she is
-
attracted to you she doesn't even know whether you are physically you know here
-
good at like you know
-
getting it on with her she doesn't even know whether you are a good kisser
-
she doesn't know all these things doesn't know wether you and her sexually
-
have something in common wether your dick is small or big or whatever
-
whether you fit you know all of this stuff
-
uh... so that's why this process has to build one one one one one one one
-
and you will need to focus on on the next step rather than the big step ahead
-
make sense
-
right
-
i hope this makes sense the step by step thing
-
is huge
-
don't jump ahead
-
just because you feel it doesn't mean that she's going to feel it
-
she needs to get attracted to you and for that you need to go step by step
-
and focus on each individual bit
-
and
-
and enjoy each individual bit
-
most guys see this whole dating thing as some sort of like
-
uh...
-
I don't know like a necessary evil to get to the end result
-
and that doesn't work for women trust me
-
okay make sense
-
I hope you enjoyed my little drawing and if you want more from me of course
-
you need to go to the link under the video
-
and sign up there for my newsletter or whatever else I am offering you of course
-
i've got
-
all those steps there for you in my programs as well
-
that will help you to take these steps
-
effectively with confidence
-
and great conversation skills uh... from the actual approaching to the building
-
trust and
-
and making it work on dates and so forth yes
-
so you have all those things there I create them for people who want them
-
it's absolutely your option if you want to take advantage of my best stuff in the programs
-
and definitely make sure you get more free stuff from me by following the link under the video
-
and if you want me to more videos like this if you found this useful
-
and you liked it then please click like here under the video
-
because that lets me know that you want more of these videos so
-
thanks very much take care
-
and try to think of it in this way rather than going all the way
-
into the future try it out a few times and just
-
gently bring yourself back to focusing on what's right here in front of you rather
-
than that
-
the big goal in the future okay
-
and you see
-
you will take the girl with you in the process and you enjoy the process a lot more and
-
you'll be focused much more
-
in the moment
-
because that's key when you try to get a girlfriend
-
i speak you very soon