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  • Aside from the million or so people

  • at his funeral yesterday, everyone else agrees

  • that Soleimani was a bad guy,

  • responsible for death and destruction around the world.

  • He oversaw attacks on U.S. soldiers in Iraq,

  • he helped prop up Bashar al-Assad in Syria,

  • and he was the executive producer of Cats,

  • all horrible things.

  • (laughter)

  • But as bad as Soleimani was,

  • not everyone agrees that killing him

  • like this was a good idea.

  • The same way things only got worse

  • when America got rid of Saddam Hussein,

  • or when America got rid of Mu'ammar Gaddhafi,

  • or when America got rid of gluten.

  • Because I don't know what it actually is.

  • All I know is, once it was gone, everything tasted like shit.

  • So there are a lot of people.

  • There are a lot of people questioning Trump's decision,

  • and even some Republicans are lashing out.

  • MAN: Republican senator Rand Paul said,

  • "The killing of Soleimani is the death

  • of diplomacy with Iran."

  • You would have to be brain-dead to believe

  • that we tear up the agreement,

  • we put an embargo on you, and we kill your major general,

  • and they're just gonna crawl back to the table and say,

  • "What do you want, America?"

  • Excuse me, Senator?

  • How dare you suggest

  • that America's president is brain-dead!

  • -(laughter) -That is so insulting!

  • Mr. President, why don't you go ahead and educate this fool?

  • MAN: President Trump defended himself on Monday,

  • saying the United States is a lot safer now.

  • (laughter, groaning)

  • Okay, Rand Paul,

  • I, like your barber, owe you an apology.

  • (laughter)

  • Now, look, the truth is, it's not that surprising

  • that Trump's response is so muddled and confusing

  • because he's Trump.

  • What is interesting is how the entire administration seems

  • to be just as confused about every aspect of this situation.

  • For instance, starting with the rationale

  • for why they killed Soleimani in the first place.

  • The Trump administration is scrambling

  • to explain the two words that led to all of this--

  • "imminent threat."

  • Was the justification this imminent threat?

  • Chuck, it's-it's never one thing.

  • You-You've been at this a long time.

  • The American people are smart, too.

  • It's never one moment, it's never one instance.

  • It's a collective. It's a...

  • It's a full situational awareness of risk.

  • If you're looking for imminence, you needn't look no further

  • than the days that led up to the strike

  • that was taken against Soleimani.

  • When you say the attacks were imminent,

  • how imminent were they?

  • Are we talking about days? We talking about weeks?

  • If you're an American in the region, days and weeks--

  • this is not something that's relevant.

  • (laughter)

  • Okay, like, hold up, man.

  • You can't say the threat is imminent,

  • then when people ask "How imminent?,"

  • you're like, "Well, time is irrelevant."

  • (laughter)

  • No, because that's specifically what "imminent" means.

  • Like, he's acting like we're crazy for asking a question.

  • "An attack was imminent, okay?"

  • It's like, "Really, Pompeo? How imminent?"

  • "Geez, you guys are obsessed with numbers!

  • Get off my back, Rain Man!"

  • So America is on the cusp of war,

  • and already, the most basic question--

  • Why are we doing it?-- has been unclear at best.

  • But the fallout has been handled just as clumsily,

  • because remember, Iraq's government was so mad

  • about this drone strike happening on their soil

  • that they asked America to leave the country for good.

  • Well, yesterday,

  • the U.S. government made two stunning announcements

  • in the span of a couple of hours.

  • First, they were withdrawing its troops from Iraq,

  • and, second, forget that thing that we first just said.

  • MAN: Adding to the confusion Monday,

  • the Pentagon circulated a letter

  • announcing a withdrawal of U.S. forces from Iraq.

  • But the Pentagon later said

  • there is no decision to leave Iraq, and it was just a draft.

  • Yeah, that's right. The Pentagon released an announcement

  • saying they were pulling out the troops,

  • and then, they were like, "Backsies!"

  • I didn't take my hand off the piece.

  • I didn't take my hand off the piece.

  • That's not the move.

  • Like, how do you send out

  • a draft military announcement by mistake?

  • They people control nuclear weapons,

  • and they can't even handle Microsoft Outlook.

  • How do you do this, huh?

  • It's like, "All right, it's time to bomb Iran.

  • "Oh, shit! I sent them a referral code to Grubhub.

  • Sorry, guys. Sorry, guys."

  • So it's not clear why the administration chose

  • to kill Soleimani now, and it's not clear

  • if the troops are leaving Iraq or not.

  • One thing's for sure.

  • They also don't seem to know what they would bomb next.

  • The Trump administration struggles

  • to put out a cohesive message

  • about how the United States plans

  • to respond to Iran's latest threat.

  • MAN 2: The president is threatening to strike 52 sites

  • in Iran, including cultural ones,

  • which would violate international law.

  • Senior administration officials

  • either publicly contradicted Mr. Trump,

  • or said that he had not said what he said.

  • The American people should know that every target

  • that we strike will be a lawful target,

  • and it will be a target designed at the singular mission

  • of protecting and defending America.

  • WOMAN: President Trump vowing he's prepared

  • to strike back, though he's now backing down

  • from threats to target Iran's cultural sites.

  • We are, according to various laws,

  • uh, supposed to, uh,

  • be very careful with their cultural heritage.

  • And you know what, if that's what the law is, I will--

  • I like to obey the law.

  • (laughter)

  • What?

  • "I like to obey the law"?

  • No, you have to obey the law.

  • Trump makes the law sound like

  • it's an optional topping at Chipotle.

  • Bitch, it's the Geneva Convention, not pico de gallo.

  • -(laughter) -"I like to obey the law."

  • But, like, come on, how does this administration

  • never seem to be on the same page?

  • Trump says they'll bomb cultural sites.

  • His administration says they won't.

  • Trump says he will. They say he won't.

  • Now he says he won't.

  • It's almost like they have a group chat,

  • but Trump never gets the message because he's on Android.

  • -(laughter) -That's what it seems like.

  • So, you know, the truth is,

  • as much as we insult the Trump administration,

  • at least they're learning from America's previous mistakes.

  • Because in 2003, the Bush administration

  • had a plan to go into Iraq but no exit strategy.

  • So now the Trump administration is like,

  • "Ah, I see where we went wrong.

  • This time, no entrance strategy. Lesson learned."

Aside from the million or so people

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Trump Brings U.S. to the Brink of War with Iran | The Daily Show

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    林宜悉 posted on 2020/03/14
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