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  • No entiendo nada. Hey. James, from EngVid, speaking Spanish~ Si? I'm looking at a French

  • book, but you guys understand. It's good for a teacher to learn different languages because

  • as they get better, they understand how to teach you, right? Right, guys? Come to think

  • of it, there's a word I was thinking about. I've been asked by many a student, "When we

  • say, 'guys', can we use it for everybody or is it just for men or" -- because they get

  • confused because in North America, we use the word "guys". And when we do, we use it

  • for groups of people that could be male and female. Now, in our language, you don't have,

  • really, gender. There's no "el" as in -- excuse me for a second. You know, in Spanish, you've

  • got the "el", or the "le" in French and the "la" -- we don't have any of that. No. Not

  • at all. So most people assume there's no gender, but I have a secret. In English, we do have

  • gender. Come on. We're going to go to the board. We're going to work it out, all right?

  • So what do I mean by "gender words"? Well, there will be no cue like this. And this is

  • what makes it confused, and that's why this is "confused words in English". Because they're

  • confused gender words -- words that can be used by only one sex, and only one sex uses

  • them in this way. And if you say it a different way, you will confuse us. Okay? So why don't

  • we start off with, well, No. 1. See? Confused. Two is over here; one is over here. The lesson

  • has begun. Mr. E secretly is watching me teach this lesson. This is the female symbol and

  • the male symbol because these are gender words. "Gender" means "sex", and we mean "boy", "girl",

  • "men", "women". Your "gender" is your "sex". When you fill out forms in English, it will

  • say "male", "female" -- that's gender. Okay? Are you male, man, female, woman? So now we're

  • there, why don't we go and take a look. "Guys", I started with "guys". You'll notice

  • that "guys" has -- well, we got two guys and a girl. We can also have mini guys, Mini Mes.

  • Okay? A group of men can be called "guys". A group with even one woman can still be called

  • "guys". And a group with all women could be called "guys". But you cannot call a group

  • of men "girls". If you go, "Hey girls! Hey girls!" They're all gay. I'm sorry if anyone

  • says, you know, "Whoa!" But it's -- "girls" would be gay, you know. Or we use it as an

  • insult to guys, "Look at the girls over there." Because we're saying, "They're not He-Men

  • like us. So they're a bunch of girls!" Right? "Quit crying, you girls!" So when we use "girls"

  • as a reference to guys, it's an insult either in, "You're not a man" or we're saying they

  • may be of a different sexual orientation. You like those big words? I do, too. Okay.

  • So that's one thing to think about. So you're going to think, "Okay, so I can

  • use 'guys' all the time." Well, you're right. But there is one difference. You don't use

  • "guys" with older, mature women because it's almost insulting because they're going to

  • say, "We're ladies. We're women, not guys. We're not little girls." Right? Even older

  • businessmen like being referred to as "guys" because it's that sports, macho, manly thing.

  • Right? "Look at the guys." "Let's go, guys." But if it's an older woman or a group of older

  • women, please say, "ladies". All right? Or "women" -- do not call them "guys" unless

  • they have moustaches, and they're really old. Anyway. That's different.

  • So "guys" you understand that one. That's one of the confusing words. So simply, to

  • make it simple so you understand exactly what I want, "guys" can be used for any group with

  • a female in or a completely -- a complete group of females, okay, and males. For males,

  • it can be used for young males to older males, no problem. Our exception is with older females;

  • you must actually call them "ladies" or "women". Men use the word "girls", okay, for a group

  • of girls, which makes them feel young. You can use that with older women. It's a good

  • one. Okay? Careful if they're wearing business suits. But they also use the word "girls"

  • for insulting other men especially in sports, like, "Look at the girls on that team." Means

  • you're not good. All right? Let's move on to the next one.

  • So we're done No. 1. What's No. 2? We talked about "guys" and "girls". Well, why don't

  • we talk about "girlfriends"? "The other day, I was talking to my girlfriend about going

  • to Starbucks and getting a coffee." Nothing to be confused about? "Well, it's not my girlfriend.

  • We're not sexually intimate or anything." "Intimate" means "close", all right, when

  • you're "intimate". In this case, sexual -- sexually intimate. It doesn't mean that. What I meant

  • to say was my "female friend". And you go, "What's the difference?" Well, girls can say

  • "my girlfriend", and it means "my female friend". It means there's no sexual or loving relationship.

  • They're just really good friends. "So my girlfriends and I, we're going to dinner tonight, and

  • then we're going to go shopping, and we're going to watch a movie, and we're going to

  • have popcorn. It's going to be so much fun!" "My girlfriends and I" -- a girl can say.

  • Now, when a guy says "girlfriend", we only think sexual relationships or a relationship.

  • "My girlfriend, the one I kiss and hold hands with." If you're a guy, and you want to say

  • "a girl who's a friend", you have to say "female friend". Now, a lot of times today we say,

  • "my friend". But when somebody wants to know specifically -- because you say, "Hey, my

  • friend told me to wear this sweater because it goes good with me, you know. It looks good

  • on me, you know? It looks real good." Then, they'll go, "Uh, which guy friend told you

  • that?" See? They say, "guy friend". Back to the word "guy". And I go, "No, it's a female

  • friend of mine. She went shopping with me." And they go, "Oh, I understand now." Got it?

  • If you have the same conversation -- you say, "My boyfriend told me this", automatically,

  • you are a homosexual. Please be careful. Boys cannot say "my boyfriends". Females, actually

  • -- funny enough -- don't say "my boyfriends". They say -- if they're talking about a male,

  • they go "my male friend James". And I will say "my female friend Joanne." That's how

  • we describe members of the opposite sex who are our friends. Okay? So "girlfriend" and

  • "boyfriend" are only used for relationships. Cool?

  • Lesson No. 2. We're talking about relationships. Lesson No. 3. The 21st century -- this is

  • really, really interesting. In Europe -- I was just told the other day that a "partner"

  • is like an "association", and in a professional sense, people who work together. So people

  • will directly translate "associate" or a "partner" to "partner". In North America, we had that

  • same thing -- "my partner". But we use it for, like, law practice, accounting, and medical.

  • Once you step outside of business and you say "partner", there are only, really, two

  • meanings. I need you to be careful because the 21st century is very strange because this

  • word has changed, and it's continually changing, evolving. "Evolving" means changing and going

  • up. So by the end of, you know, in ten years, it might have a totally different meaning.

  • But let's go and talk. "Partner" here, means an association. If it's said by a male, one

  • has to be very careful because the male could be saying, "I am a homosexual because my partner

  • is a man." You have to listen very carefully for context. And I'm warning you: Don't speak;

  • listen. Because also, in the 21st century, "partner" is a word that people who are above

  • the age of 30 use for their long-term lover or partner. So a girlfriend you've been with

  • for 10 or 15 years may be -- and you've been living together -- they may be your "partner".

  • That means nothing to do with homosexual lifestyle. So many times, a man or a woman may walk up

  • to you and go, "My partner's coming to the party tonight." Now, you should say something

  • like, "So your partner, how long have you been with them?" "Twenty years." Ah, we're

  • getting warmer. But don't put any kind of gender -- remember I told you what "gender"

  • means, right? -- or attach gender until they keep speaking. They might say after that,

  • "Yeah, she is coming at 7." Boom. Long-term girlfriend. "He is coming" -- got it. Okay?

  • And welcome to western civilization: We don't put too much on gender issues. Same-sex marriage

  • -- that is okay, all right? So when someone says "partner", just wait for context. They

  • will give you the information you need. All right?

  • So we've done "partner". We've gone from "guys", "girlfriend", "partner". What could possibly

  • be next? Well, we're talking about association and relationship, so why don't we give you

  • a word that seems very -- shouldn't be confusing, right? Because we've got -- "partner" is confusing.

  • Shouldn't be confusing. Should be very, very easy. But in North America, it's not. We have

  • a television program called "Friends" in North America. It's about six people who hang out

  • and party and do everything together and get married and divorce each other. Now, that's

  • confusing. But they do this. Joey and Chandler and whatnot -- Phoebe. Love Phoebe. But in

  • North America, everybody's your friend. They'll even say, "Hey, friend! How are you?" And

  • they don't even know who you are. "Friend" in our language, really, means "acquaintance".

  • Okay? Don't get it confused. If you've never been to their house, never been to their house,

  • never been invited over for dinner, haven't been gone to, you know, one of the baseball

  • games or anything like that, you're an "acquaintance". "Acquaintance" means -- from the word "acquaint"

  • -- they know you. And that's all. So when you go to the bar, and they go, "Hey Friend!

  • What are you drinking?" It means, "I know you come to this bar. What do you want to

  • drink?" You're not friends. Don't say, "Free drink from you!" You're not his friend or

  • her friend, okay? That's why it's a confusing word because, other cultures, when you say,

  • like, if you're Arabic, "habibi", "my love", right? We don't think like that. You're not

  • my friend. You're not my "habibi", okay? So let's move on.

  • So we got that one. Kind of confusing -- not. But it is for you guys. And the final one.

  • This is a personal favorite of mine. "Yo, my brothers, my man, my bros". Many of you

  • leave comments calling me, "Yo, Bro! Is good?" This is the best part. "I'm from Russia. I

  • would like to say, Bro, that we are good friends, right? Bro? You my man! Right, brother?" I'm

  • like, "I've never met you, okay?" Yes, I know there's a skin thing. And the problem isn't

  • yours -- and I apologize -- it's ours. In North America, we have many movies where the

  • black guys always go, "Yo, man! Yo, man! Yo, brother, what's up? What's up? What's up?"

  • And then everybody in the world thinks that every black man does that. If you can find

  • ten videos where I say, "Yo bros, we gonna be studying today. You know what I'm saying',

  • my brothers?" Find ten EngVid videos. Please watch them, and see me say those words over

  • and over again, and you can call me "bro" whenever you see me. If not, I am not a "bro",

  • "brother" or "man". I will do that on sports teams; it's true. I'll go, "Yo, that's a good

  • shot, man!" Sports. And everybody does it. So here's a little lesson -- and my favorite,

  • most important. Right, Mr. E? See, he's my bro. We've been hanging for 127 videos. Probably

  • 200 by the time you see this. So he can call me "bro" because we're like brothers. Now,

  • I will give you the real deal, okay? The "real deal" means the truth or honestly. "Brother".

  • People will call each other "brothers" who have a close relationship. If you go to war,

  • you play on sports teams, or you've had a long -- like my brother-in-law Noyen. He's

  • like my brother. From different family, but like my brother. He's been around so long.

  • He can call me "brother", and we call each other "brother". Noyen is white and Turkish,

  • okay? Totally different. But we're like brothers, so it's okay with me. Now, if you have one

  • of those relationships, you can call somebody of color "brother". Okay?

  • Second reason. This is DNA. If you are literally from the same mother -- "literally" means

  • "exactly" -- you come out of the same mother, you can call them "brother" because they are

  • your brother. That's biological, okay? If you are non-African -- hey, hell, if you're

  • from Africa. Okay, I'm from Canada. You go, "Brother, how are you?" I go, "We're not brothers."

  • I don't know you, okay? This is usually used for North American, and they call themselves

  • African Americans. They will call each other "brother" or "bro", and they're usually from

  • ghetto neighborhoods, or -- not even ghetto, but lower class neighborhoods is where it

  • started from. Okay? So be careful when you use it. The best rule is if you have blood

  • relations, call somebody your "brother". If you have a long relationship, and you're close,

  • call someone "brother". If you've just met them on the street, you ain't nobody's brother.

  • Don't even think about it. I know -- no, don't. Stop. Stop. No. Okay? We like you. Say, "Hi,

  • guy!" Not, "Hi, man." Try that. And you'll be surprised at the reaction you get. Anyway.

  • "Confused words" because, as you know, people think "brother" means "friend", but it can

  • be insulting to people, so be careful with that one. "guys" -- anything with a girl or

  • guy is "guys", right? Remember, unless it's older women. "Partner" -- be very careful

  • with that. Is it partner as in a long-term relationship; is it is business associate;

  • or is it a gay relationship? Context tells you what. "Friend" -- nobody is your friend.

  • Don't be confused. Unless we've known each other a long time, you're just an acquaintance.

  • And "girlfriend" -- as Oprah would say, and before I get out, "Yo, Mr. E.! Girlfriend!

  • I got to get going now, you know what I'm saying, my brother? I got to see my partner,

  • partner in crime, you know?" Anyway. Hope you had fun. I enjoyed this lesson. I hope

  • you did. And it will help you when you're trying to make friends by not using these

  • confused words and confusing the relationship. Anyway, got to go. Have a good one. See you

  • in a bit. Don't forget. Where are you going to go? www.engvid.com, where you can go and

  • do the quizzes that follow this lesson, okay? And don't forget to click "like" on the box, all right? See you.

No entiendo nada. Hey. James, from EngVid, speaking Spanish~ Si? I'm looking at a French

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A2 partner gender brother girlfriend bro confused

Confusing Sex & Gender Words in English - girlfriend, guys, partner...

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    薛宇辰 posted on 2014/01/17
Video vocabulary