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  • What up, everyone? It's your girl, Superwoman, and if you're a human being, chances are, at least once in your life, you've been in this situation

  • Whether it's because of a family party, or you're babysitting, or someone's staying at your house for the weekend,

  • you get forced to take care of some random child. Your cousin, your nephew, your neighbor, your mom's

  • uncle's baby boy's friends. [mumbles] Doesn't matter, you're watching everybody's kids. And

  • usually the evening of terror starts a little something like this:

  • - Oh, Lilly! Come downstairs!

  • - Yeah?

  • - I have surprise for you. Come!

  • - Really, what is it?

  • Come on, new car, come on baby new leather seats...

  • Yessssss, whatchu talkin' 'bout mom?

  • - Lilly, look who's here! Come, your friend, look!

  • - My who?

  • - Look! You have someone to play with now, ah!

  • - My who?

  • - This is Karan. He's going to stay with us because his parents are going to India. He's going to stay with us and have fun, ah!

  • - Ok, wait. I'm confused. Does he come with the car?

  • - Oh my God, you two gonna be best friends,

  • you're gonna have so much fun, ah!

  • - [in agony] Why? WHY?

  • My mom always does this. She tries to convince me that I should be excited about the situation.

  • I'm 25 years old, mom, okay? I don't need any more friends. I'm completely content with the 700 fake Facebook friends

  • I have. What was that other thing...?

  • Minor detail; this kid is 10 years old! If I wanted to hang out with annoying immature brats,

  • I would just call the friends I already have.

  • Just kidding. Love you.

  • Pssh! Surprised, she says, [sarcastically] surprised! You know what would be surprised, if you call me downstairs and tell me that dad is finally

  • gonna let us turn on the heat in the winter. Okay. That would be a surprise. I 'd be like

  • (surprised face)

  • But this is not a bloody surprise! Okay, so I'm standing there and you already know what comes next: that upward little conversation

  • where an auntie or uncle tries to get the kid to say hello to you politely,

  • but the kid's just awkward and shy, and you just don't care.

  • - Karan, say hello!

  • Say namaste! Say!

  • (whimpers)

  • Karan, you have to say hello, okay?

  • - [shyly] Hi.

  • - No, no. With two hands, okay. Say [incoherent], Lilly, auntie!

  • - [still shyly, but with two hands] Hi.

  • - 'Sup?

  • - No, not like this, look, like this, say [incoherent], Lilly, auntie!

  • - Honestly, it's fine, I don't really care.

  • I don't even care.

  • Mom, stop!

  • - Good boy, good! [kisses] Good boy. Ok, go play.

  • - [sarcastically] Yay!

  • And so, it begins. From that point on, the child gets passed on to you. And usually the beginning

  • is super awkward because the kid is so shy and has no social skills.

  • But I have learned that every single time, in this situation, without fail, that phase will last approximately

  • 5 minutes until that child drops some sort of bomb on you, and then doesn't shut up

  • So, what do you want to do?

  • How old are you?

  • Okay...

  • - Sometimes, my imaginary friend gets mad when I talk to other people.

  • Shut up! I wanna talk to her!

  • Hey, what's this? What's this?

  • - Don't touch it!

  • - Oh! Look at it, paper!

  • Look at it! What does it do?

  • Lilly, can I play with this?

  • - No.

  • - Stop it!

  • - Put it down.

  • - Please!

  • - Put--

  • - How does this work? How do I turn it on?

  • - No! You know what, actually, I think it's broken.

  • - Oh! Fixed it.

  • - Oh really?

  • - Nope, broke it.

  • Lilly, this Xbox control you gave me does not work.

  • - Shh. Why don't we play hide and seek, okay?

  • - Okay!

  • - Okay? Cool.

  • One, two,

  • three...

  • [giggles]

  • - Oh my God, where are you?

  • I can't find you, you're so good.

  • - I'm in the closet.

  • - What? Where? I can't see you.

  • - Pssst!

  • One, two,

  • three...

  • Found you.

  • - Oh my -- you're so good!

  • - You didn't even hide!

  • - What are you talking about? I was trying to be the sofa. Look at me.

  • - Do you kiss people on the lips? Because you look a lot like my sister, and she kisses a lot of people on the lips.

  • - It's just a downward spiral of whack sauce.

  • Just save me [incoherent]

  • But, as annoying as kids are, there are some instances where it's beneficial to have a kid around. For example,

  • Instagram. Because everybody knows that pictures with kids get the most likes, okay?

  • So we about to be BFFs in these selfies

  • - So then, Michael told me that I--

  • - Shh. Shh. Could you be quiet for a second? Come, let's take a picture.

  • - Why?

  • - Because I'm older and I said so. Get over here.

  • Smile. Bigger. Like you love me, come on!

  • No. Look cuter

  • Or, when you want to appear to be wifey or hubby material because everybody knows that nothing is harder than your boyfriend or girlfriend

  • appearing to be good with kids such a turn-on, and I'm gonna turn this on all the way!

  • [phone rings]

  • Karan, get over here.

  • - Why?

  • - I need you to laugh. Get over here and laugh.

  • - I don't want to laugh.

  • - Come here and laugh! Okay.

  • [laughs very uncomfortably]

  • Hey, babe! What's going on?

  • [still laughing uncofortably]

  • Oh, we were just chillin', hanging out, you know. there you go. You know.

  • - [whispers] Is he the person you kiss on the mouth?

  • - Shut up.

  • No, I can't talk right now, sir. We're just -- I'm just having fun with my new bestie

  • Talk to you later. Bye bye.

  • Get away from me.

  • And don't even get me started on Snapchat, okay, because every stupid thing this kid does right now is a Snapchat opportunity.

  • - Fun fact: I'm a really good dancer.

  • - Really? You should so show me.

  • - Oh -- okay.

  • It's good, right?

  • - Yeah

  • But soon enough, even those benefits are not enough because my brain is being eaten

  • because this child thinks all of his problems are such a big deal.

  • - So we were at P.E. and Tonya was like

  • 'you can't throw this ball far', and I was like, 'yes I can,

  • I can even throw it farther than the far that you think you're farthing at' so I was like okay, fine

  • I'll throw it. I threw it and went really really really far, and Tonya was like

  • I wasn't looking and I was like 'that's so unfair' and

  • I hate it when people question whether I can throw a ball far enough, and

  • [starts to cry]

  • I didn't run away

  • - Really?

  • You know, I don't think you threw the ball that far, so

  • Like stop! Stop being so selfish and delusional,

  • My God, such a child! What about me, huh? What about my problems -- For example: yesterday.

  • I called my friends saying 'hey, I think I'm gonna wear red to the party' and guess what happens.

  • I go to the party -- she's also wearing red.

  • How are you gonna wear red if I said I'm wearing red? Honestly, no one ever pays attention to the color I'm wearing.

  • Everyone does this to me, and that's why I'm gonna move out.

  • But, you know, funny thing because as annoying as this kid is, every time a kid leaves me,

  • I feel like my heart melts a little bit because, maybe I actually liked them.

  • - So, I gotta go Lilly.

  • [crying dramatically]

  • I mean, even though I was a jerk, that boy enjoyed spending time with me

  • Why can't all boys be like this?

  • Huge shoutout to my little bro Karan Brar for being in this video. If you don't know who he is, then you're missing out on

  • life. Check out the links in the description. Follow him on Twitter, like him on Facebook, all that jazz. He's just a little cutie pattootie.

  • Also make sure you read comments and click that subscribe button because I do make new videos every Monday and Thursday

  • One love Superwoman. That is a wrap, and

  • zoop!

What up, everyone? It's your girl, Superwoman, and if you're a human being, chances are, at least once in your life, you've been in this situation

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How I Deal With Kids (ft. Karan Brar)

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    Tracy posted on 2020/03/04
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