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  • Mick hey, Mickey, don't worry about it okay?

  • These things happen.

  • I know a guy, he's great with bleach, he's gonna

  • make this whole thing disappear just like that okay?

  • Hold on I'm getting another call.

  • Yes?

  • [Assistant] Mr Richards, there's

  • a Mr Netflix here to see you.

  • (laughing)

  • Oh this oughta be good.

  • Okay yeah send him in.

  • Bob Netflix!

  • You old so and so.

  • Take a seat, how are ya?

  • Well Dick, gonna be honest.

  • I'm a little confused.

  • Are you mad at me?

  • Mad at you?

  • Bobby, Booby why would you say something like that?

  • Well it just seems like we used

  • to have a really good thing going.

  • Bobby hold that thought.

  • Peter Pan!

  • You doing anything?

  • No, not really sir.

  • Well here's 50 mil.

  • Now you got a Disney+ show.

  • Thank you Mr Richards!

  • I'm gonna make the best Peter Pan show ever.

  • Quality is irrelevant to me.

  • Anywho what were you saying Bob?

  • Just that we used have a really good thing going.

  • A lucrative licensing agreement,

  • we made all those Marvel shows together.

  • We even brought back The Clone Wars for a final season.

  • I think you're mistaken there Bob.

  • We're bringing it back for a final season.

  • Our trailer clearly stated that

  • the war was unfinished until now.

  • Look, we're just trying to wrap it up and give the fans

  • a satisfying conclusion that they deserve.

  • You know, #clonewarssaved.

  • But we already did that.

  • Back in 2014.

  • It even ended in a epic three part finale

  • where Yoda realized the Clone Wars

  • were just a huge distraction they were never gonna win

  • and that another Skywalker was their

  • only chance at victory in the long run.

  • Bringing the themes of duty and sacrifice full circle

  • and creating a perfect emotional

  • segue into Revenge of the Sith.

  • Yeah but we got #clonewarssaved trending so...

  • This is what I'm talking about.

  • We used to have such a good thing going but then,

  • you just ghosted me, wouldn't return any of my calls,

  • canceled all the Marvel Netflix shows.

  • Thanks for taking the blame for that by the way.

  • And now you're starting your own streaming service

  • that kinda seems like a direct competitor to Netflix so,

  • I just gotta know,

  • is there something I did?

  • What happened between us?

  • Bobby.

  • Trust me it's not you.

  • I truly cherish the time we had together.

  • Our partnership was a wonderful proof of concept.

  • Seriously, if we hadn't worked together all those years,

  • we never would've gained the knowledge needed

  • to launch our own streaming service to systematically

  • dismantle your hold on the market

  • and ultimately leave your company in total financial ruin.

  • Wait, what?

  • Oh yeah we're planning on crushing you.

  • Nothing personal.

  • It sure feels personal.

  • Trust me it isn't.

  • I literally don't see people.

  • I just see potential revenue streams.

  • It's kind of like the matrix but with dollar signs.

  • What, how do you even--

  • Oh speak of the devil.

  • Kim Possible, think fast.

  • You owe me 13 episodes by next spring.

  • Thank you.

  • Literally all I saw was a dollar sign in a crop top.

  • Dick, Doesn't Disney have enough at this point?

  • You're universally beloved, you have all the most popular

  • IPs, you're clearly the king of the box office.

  • I mean you're basically printing

  • your own money at this point.

  • Can't you just like, let us have this one?

  • Bobby, Bobby, Bobby.

  • It's so adorable that you think

  • money is the only thing at play here.

  • Sure we keep breaking records at

  • the box office year after year.

  • But these are just short term gains.

  • We're still at the whims of the movie theaters

  • because we can't legally own them and who'd want to?

  • I mean, they only have 10 years left tops.

  • Same thing with television.

  • We may own a bunch of television channels

  • but we still have to work with the wretched

  • cable companies to get them to our viewers

  • and even they're on the way out.

  • That's why Disney+ is so important.

  • In the digital world, we will have something

  • that no other medium can provide, total control.

  • From inception to release, we will control everything.

  • We won't have to share the distribution, rights and,

  • most importantly, profits with anybody but ourselves.

  • And, since we already own or have shown

  • no problem in acquiring all of the IPs people care about,

  • creating a one stop shop that can be accessed

  • from any device was the final piece we needed

  • to set our plans for total domination

  • of the entertainment world into motion.

  • Hey Batman.

  • Catch.

  • Ah thanks Dick.

  • (laughing)

  • Nice.

  • But you don't own Batman.

  • Not yet.

  • No.

  • No it's far from over Dick.

  • You're acting like the battle's already won

  • but we have over 150 million subscribers worldwide.

  • It'll take you years to catch up with us.

  • Oh it may take decades.

  • That's not a problem.

  • What?

  • We're Disney Bob.

  • We have the money and we have the patience.

  • I'll run this company at a loss

  • for years just to take you out.

  • All we need to do is outspend you

  • until you're out of content.

  • I mean eventually those Stranger Things kids

  • will grow up no matter how much coffee and cigarettes

  • you feed them to stunt their growth.

  • And then what will you have?

  • More comedy specials from D list comedians?

  • Please.

  • In the end, we will win.

  • We are

  • inevitable.

  • Oh yeah?

  • You think you can take everything from us huh?

  • Well how would you feel if Netflix took something from you?

  • That's right.

  • We signed Benioff and Weiss,

  • the creators of Game of Thrones.

  • So stick that in your Juul and vape it.

  • Got him.

  • You mean those hacks we fired from Star Wars?

  • Fired?

  • They said they were too busy.

  • (laughing)

  • Too busy for Star Wars?

  • There's only one person on Earth too busy for Star Wars,

  • Kevin Feige, and even that (bleep) making a Star Wars!

  • (laughing)

  • No.

  • See, your little ace in the hole

  • was actually just a Trojan horse.

  • Our Trojan horse.

  • By allowing the world to think they were getting

  • their own Star Wars trilogy, we tricked you

  • into spending a quarter of a billion dollars

  • to poach a pair of creatively bankrupt lemons.

  • I can't believe you fell for that.

  • No.

  • That's insane.

  • You wouldn't.

  • Wouldn't I?

  • I mean at this point even I don't know

  • what the (bleep) I'm capable of anymore.

  • Regardless, the end result is the same.

  • Jesus Christ.

  • You're ruthless.

  • You're God damn right I'm ruthless.

  • I have to be.

  • See Bob, what you fail to grasp is that this fight

  • is about more than just the future of streaming.

  • It's about the future of everything.

  • We're not just trying to control the media,

  • we're trying to control how the people consume media.

  • We're grooming the next generation of consumers

  • to get all of their entertainment from us.

  • We will fulfill their every emotional need.

  • Every laugh they bellow, every tear

  • they cry will come from us.

  • And once we've achieved a brand dependency

  • of that magnitude, they will buy whatever

  • we sell them for the rest of their

  • insignificant lives and that is worth everything.

  • So go on and run back to Silicon Valley

  • and enjoy yourself while you can Bob.

  • It's only a matter of time before you

  • run out of ideas and your war chest dries up

  • and finally, when Netflix is little more

  • than a sad saggy scrotum of a shadow of its former self,

  • we will acquire it.

  • And then we will do the same to Amazon,

  • Warner Bros, NBC, hell even YouTube

  • and on and on we will go until there is nothing left.

  • Nothing, but Disney.

  • (ominous music)

  • Boo.

  • (screaming)

  • (laughing)

  • You think this is a joke don't you?

  • That's nice.

  • Just out there laughing it up.

  • Having a grand old time.

  • Well, I hope you think back on this moment when you're

  • watching your DisneyTube on your MickeyPad Pro Six.

  • Think fondly of the time when you had the

  • illusion of choice.

  • (clapping)

  • (upbeat music) Hey everyone.

  • Before we go we'd like to give a very special thanks

  • to Epic Games for sponsoring this video.

  • They just released a brand new RPG called Battle Breakers.

  • It's free to play and available now on PC, iOS and Android.

  • You can use our link in the description

  • below to download the game yourself.

  • Battle Breakers is a cartoon inspired,

  • hero collector RPG that was a passion project

  • built by a small team at Epic Games.

  • In the game, space monsters have invaded your planet

  • and trapped your world's greatest

  • heroes in technomagic crystals.

  • It's now up to you to assemble a group

  • of super warriors to try and take your planet back.

  • The game has hundreds of playable heroes,

  • big boss battles, over a thousand dungeons

  • and is cross platform so you can progress

  • through your game seamlessly across mobile and PC.

  • Again you can use our link below

  • to download Battle Breakers for free right now.

  • Thanks again for watching and we'll see you next time.

  • Bye.

Mick hey, Mickey, don't worry about it okay?

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Netflix Reacts to Disney Plus

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    林宜悉 posted on 2020/02/26
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