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Thank you, I am Ken Jeong, or as Ellen pronounces it, Ken Je-young.
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Now it is an honor to be guest hosting for Ellen "Degelenergenes" (Deliberate mispronounciation of "DeGeneres")
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So, but as you can see Ellen isn't here today.
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I want to tell you exactly what she's going through, but you know my movie, The Hangover?
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You know that?
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Actually it's not that.
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I just wanted to plug my movie The Hangover.
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So it's doing amazing on DVD.
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Ellen has the day off, so obviously I was asked to fill in because apparently she and I wear the same size suit.
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Actually you know what?
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My wife and kids are here today in the audience.
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Where are they?
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Want to give them a shout out?
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Hey!
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Look at them.
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Oh, wow.
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Look at the frown on their faces, huh?
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All right, all right.
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I didn't force her to be here at all.
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That is my wife, if you go back.
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That's my wife Tran.
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And that is the apple of my eye, Alexa.
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And what's your name, sweetie?
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I'm kidding.
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Zooey.
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Zooey.
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Don't get mad, don't get mad.
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All right, all right, all right, all right, all right,
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All right.
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Don't worry, we're cutting all this.
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I'll be honest, I brought them here because I'm a little nervous.
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This is actually my... it's actually my first time ever hosting a talk show, so thank you, Ellen.
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This has been a huge honor.
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I've had an amazing time.
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It's been incredible.
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I have never, ever done this before, so I just gotta... I just gotta reference what I know.
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So I'm an actor.
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I'm a comedian.
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And this is true.
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I'm also a doctor.
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So just for me to make me feel comfortable, I need you all to disrobe.
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If that's okay.
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No?
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Yeah, it's true.
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I was a general practitioner and I worked full time.
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Actually I would... any general practitioners in the crowd?
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Good.
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Let's talk about them.
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General practitioners, we are the dumbest of all doctors.
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All right?
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Like in general I knew nothing, okay?
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If a patient came up to me, say, doctor, what... what do I have?
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I don't know.
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In general you're sick.
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I don't know these things.
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I'm going to refer you to a specificicst.
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My whole point is I love doing comedy.
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I'm living out a dream, but honestly I miss my patients, and I miss helping people.
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So today, I thought I'd help all of you out with any medical questions you may have in my segment, Ask Dr. Ken.
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Those are my real abs.
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I had a sit-up coach.
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Where is Adrienne Lee?
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My question was, why do some Asians get Asian glow, and is it dangerous?
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Got it, why do some Asians get Asian glow, or like the Asian flush if you will.
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Like basically it is due to a lack of an enzyme called acetaldehyde dehydrogenase, which metabolizes alcohol in the body.
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And when you have an accumulation of said substance, you can get that Asian glow, or in American terms looks like a tomato.
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So it's... and but just to be clear, I can also answer non-Asian medical questions.
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I just wanted to throw that out there.
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I don't want everyone to assume that's my only area of expertise.
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So you know.
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I help out whites.
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Yup, yup. Thank you.
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Thank you.
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Thank you, Adrienne.
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Keep it real, Adrienne.
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All right.
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So where is Mafa?
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It's actually Mafa.
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Mafa.
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That's what I said.
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I said that.
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Hi Dr. Ken Jeong.
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Hi, Mafa.
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Hi, my question is, what is your medical opinion on medicinal use of cannabis or marijuana?
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Yes.
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Next question?
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I have some more in the back of my Camry.
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Now, where is Huijeong Hong.
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Again, this doesn't have to be an Asian question.
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Hello Dr. Ken Jeong.
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My question is, I'm wondering why I started to sweat only half side of my face when I eat really spicy food.
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Excuse me for a second.
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Web M.D. Half my face...
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Sweat...
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Oh, we're out of time.
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Sorry, yahhh!
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Good job!