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  • I love being married though.

  • I love living with a woman.

  • It's great.

  • I don't run out of stuff anymore.

  • Especially in the bathroom and guys who live by themselves know that's a problem sometimes.

  • Some... sometimes he'll just get in the shower in the morning, be like, there's no soap in here.

  • I'm fresh out of ideas, alright.

  • I'll just turn the water up hotter, I guess.

  • Yes, scrub really hard with a loofah, you know.

  • My wife will buy multiple bottles of shampoo at a time.

  • It's a brilliant idea, it is...

  • Never crossed my mind at all.

  • I buy one, one bottle of shampoo, and then when it gets to the end...

  • Unscrew the top hold it up to the shower.

  • Oh, you people all have done this, you know what I am talking, maybe a little, little shampoo cocktail for yourself there.

  • Alright, this is gonna be the same thing.

  • Wow, that goes right in the eyes, look at that.

  • Maybe if you like me, you dive into the sink you bust out the hotel miniatures you've been stealing for the past 15 years.

  • Alright, candle with sweets.

  • What do we got today? All right.

  • Blueberry, alright.

  • I wouldn't normally use blueberry shampoo, but I don't really have much of an option.

  • And this is... this is moisturizer, yuck!

  • I'm just gonna be shiny all day, alright.

  • My wife and I moved into an apartment that has two bathrooms.

  • Which I think already just adds another five years to our marriage.

  • The fact that we don't have to compete for a shower in the morning...

  • And we never take a shower together.

  • I think some people think that's strange.

  • But honestly, it's just not practical for us because when you first get together with somebody the idea of taking a shower together sounds awesome.

  • A woman's like, hey, I'm... I'm thinking about taking a shower.

  • Hopefully not in that voice.

  • I should point that out.

  • Hey, you wanna take a shower?

  • Pass.

  • It's very appealing when you first get together, though.

  • But any guy here that lives with a woman knows that if you try and take a shower together.

  • Odds are it's just gonna turn into you standing in the back for about six minutes.

  • It's freezing back here.

  • It's really cold.

  • I... I can see it's hot up there, I can... I can see the steam.

  • That's where I stand when I take a shower quite frankly.

  • Sweetie... but what happens though is the water hits the top of your forehead.

  • And it comes off as this cool fine mist and that's all I get to work with, I get a little produce shower.

  • This could take forever for me to get clean.

  • It's my turn, alright, fantastic, cool, alright.

  • Here we go.

  • We're on different rinsing cycles.

  • I don't wanna mess that up, cool.

  • I don't recognize any of these but, no you gotta condition three times, alright.

  • That was warm, okay.

  • This is, uh, boring, actually.

  • I know you're naked, that's cool.

  • But if I knew it's gonna go this long I would have put my Kindle in a Ziploc or something.

  • Are you...

  • Are you getting out?

  • You're getting out, cool!

  • Take both towels.

  • I don't... I don't need both towels.

  • We are out of hot water though, sweetheart, so.

  • It's alright, I'll just smell today, that's alright.

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I love being married though.

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B1 US shower shampoo comedy blueberry woman married

Being married VS. Being Single | Drew Barth | Dry Bar Comedy

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    Nina posted on 2020/02/28
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