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  • It would be hard to find a group of people more insulated from in-person interactions than Millennials today.

  • Seamless delivers dinner.

  • Tinder makes matches. Headphones discouraged chatting.

  • We also grew up with things like caller ID and automated customer service

  • that took the stranger interacting out of a lot of everyday errands.

  • Less interacting with strangers in public

  • means less flirting with strangers in public.

  • How did young people become so stranger-averse and what does that mean for dating?

  • This is Ashley. She reports on trends and relationships and families,

  • so she's interviewed a lot of people about their experiences dating.

  • People who are pretty young in their 30s in their 20s. Some who were in college.

  • Technology has made the act of meeting people offline almost obsolete.

  • With Tinder's estimated global user base at nearly 50 million, many people rely on apps as the primary way to date.

  • Today's dating pool I think has a different skill set,

  • being good at flirting in a way to that translates to a text message.

  • We can manage a lot through asynchronous communication.

  • I can look at a text from you, and I can really think about how I want to respond.

  • I might pass my phone around to my friend group and have them weigh in they think I should respond.

  • And there's a reason you never want to put your phone down.

  • The apps are designed to be addictive which makes it even harder to stop swiping once you're hooked.

  • One thing that the founders of Tinder said about founding it was that they wanted it to feel like a game.

  • They designed the app itself to feel like a deck of cards where you were flipping over one

  • and then you kind of weigh in on it, approve of it, or discard it,

  • then you can move on to the next one and they wanted it to feel like something

  • you could just do forever kind of for fun to entertain yourself.

  • When more and more people are finding dates from the comfort of their couch,

  • the experience of dating becomes siloed from the rest of social life.

  • I've heard people say

  • sometimes they will have a good interaction or like kind of catch the

  • eye of someone who's cute and then not say anything just hope that they find

  • them on the apps later when they're swiping, whereas like I think in prior

  • generations people had much more of half an eye turned out toward finding potential mates,

  • potential partners, potential dates, just kind of during everyday life.

  • It's hard to make a date offline when no one wants to talk to strangers.

  • An entire generation of kids was once taught to fear them.

  • Starting when we were little, we had the stranger-danger philosophy among parents that really kept us away from

  • people we didn't know because they might be out to harm us.

  • Things that are very valid when you're a small child but when you're an adult maybe those aren't,

  • aren't as appropriate.

  • Stranger danger PSAs were popular in the 80s and 90s when Millennials were growing up.

  • The campaign's were developed in response to infamous child abductions at the time.

  • Even today their impact lingers.

  • When I've talked to young people about what happens when they get approached by people who want to flirt

  • with them in a public space is that they just sort of don't know what to do with that interaction.

  • Ultimately perhaps it's our priorities that have shifted making the search for a mate less important.

  • More people are delaying marriage. Meeting someone in any capacity is not necessarily the goal.

  • There's a fear of falling in love that young people come by honestly because they often have been

  • given a message from the time they were this big it's education first, it's performance first, it's achievement first, it's ambition first.

  • I have to put all these sorts of boxes checked off before I can even imagine bringing another person into my life.

  • So what is all this meant for love and partnership?

  • For one, traditional social networks are broadening.

  • We are much more likely to date across a significant cultural difference than we were in years past,

  • and so one in six new marriages bridges a significant socio-demographic difference like race like ethnicity like faith.

  • But while some things have changed others remain the same.

  • People forget it was always hard to meet someone now there's just different problems.

  • People are still looking for the same and the milestones are the same, the big questions are the same.

  • How people find each other is the thing that has changed.

  • Thanks for watching the Idea File and if

  • you like what you see you can follow us on our YouTube channel.

It would be hard to find a group of people more insulated from in-person interactions than Millennials today.

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B1 US people dating stranger tinder millennials apps

Why Dating Is Hard for Millennials

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    Helena posted on 2020/01/02
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