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  • What do I recommend?

  • That you look at a menu and act like you've been to a bar before.

  • No I don't know what that drink is, but I'll google it in the back.

  • Tequila shots?

  • Would you like terrible, not so terrible, or impress people with your money?

  • No I can't recreate that drink you had that one time at that one bar.

  • Here's a $12 cocktail I made with the cheapest booze we have. Enjoy!

  • That's definitely a picture of your sister.

  • I'll take all the money I can get.

  • Oh, you don't want to give me your credit card because you think I should trust you even though we've never met.

  • I'm judging the sh*t out of you for your drink choice.

  • Four jager bombs?

  • I hope you and your friends die in a hazing accident.

  • Long Island ice tea?

  • Sure thing, garbage person.

  • Oh, you think that I'm wearing this low-cut shirt to get your phone number?

  • Give me your money.

  • We are not a team; you creep me out.

  • Imagine how she feels.

  • I poured you the wrong kind of wine, but I'm pretty sure you can't tell the difference.

  • Make it strong?

  • Go f*ck yourself.

  • That should be stronger for you.

  • It's the same drink, but I put a tiny drip of rum in the straw.

  • I don't need to shake it this much, but it looks cool.

  • Tips, tips, tips, tips, tips, tips, tips.

  • I've had six shots this shift.

  • I've done twelve.

  • Tips, tips, tips, tips, tips.

  • I've been watering down your drinks because you're turning into a drunk a*shole.

  • This is basically just sprite and fruit juice, but you're too drunk to realize it.

  • You were here first, but she's more attractive, so I'm gonna go with her.

  • Oh my god, I totally don't know what you're talking about, but you're lonely and you're paying cash.

  • I'm pretending like we didn't hook up that one time.

  • We all are.

  • No pressure, but last call was twenty five minutes ago.

  • And I can't wait for you guys to leave.

  • You know we have food here?

  • You don't have to keep sneaking olives when you think I'm not looking.

  • Oh what am I doing after work?

  • Not hanging out with you.

  • I'm just doing this until my Etsy account takes off.

  • I've given up on my dreams.

  • I can't remember what you ordered because I'm wasted.

What do I recommend?

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A2 US BuzzFeed drink drunk bar etsy sprite

If Bartenders Were Honest

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    Angel Hsu posted on 2020/01/12
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