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So I've experienced a lot of success in my life.
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Over a decade ago,
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I started a business straight out of uni with my mate, Scott.
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Now, having no prior business experience
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and not really any grand plan --
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in fact, our goals when we started were not to have to get a real job
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(Laughter)
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and to not have to wear a suit to work every day.
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Check and check.
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(Laughter)
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Today, we have thousands of amazing employees,
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and millions of people use our software around the planet.
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And technically, even outside the planet,
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if you count those that are currently on their way to Mars.
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So you'd think that I know what I'm doing every day
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when I go to work.
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Well, let me let you in on something:
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most days, I still feel like I often don't know what I'm doing.
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I've felt that way for 15 years,
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and I've since learned that feeling is called "impostor syndrome."
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Have you ever felt out of your depth,
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like a fraud,
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and just kind of guessed/bullshitted your way through the situation --
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(Laughter)
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petrified that anytime,
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someone was going to call you on it?
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Well, I can think of many examples where I felt like this.
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Interviewing our first HR manager,
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having never worked in a company that had an HR department --
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(Laughter)
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terrified as I walked into the interview,
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thinking, "What am I going to ask this person?"
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Or attending board meetings in a T-shirt surrounded by suits,
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and acronyms are flying around,
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feeling like a five-year-old
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as I surreptitiously write them down in my notebook,
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so I can look them up on Wikipedia when I get home later.
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(Laughter)
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Or, in the early days,
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when people would call up and ask for accounts payable,
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I would freeze and think, "Wait, are they asking for money
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or giving it to us?"
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(Laughter)
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And I would cover the phone,
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cover the mouthpiece of the phone,
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and say, "Scott, you're in accounts,"
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and pass it across.
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(Laughter)
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We both did a lot of jobs back then.
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So for me, impostor syndrome is a feeling of being well, well out of your depth,
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yet already entrenched in the situation.
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Internally, you know you're not skilled enough, experienced enough
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or qualified enough to justify being there,
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yet you are there,
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and you have to figure a way out,
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because you can't just get out.
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It's not a fear of failure,
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and it's not a fear of being unable to do it.
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It's more a sensation of getting away with something,
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a fear of being discovered,
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that at any time, someone is going to figure this out.
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And if they did figure it out,
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you'd honestly think, "Well, that's fair enough, actually."
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(Laughter)
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One of my favorite writers, Neil Gaiman, put it so beautifully
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in a commencement address he gave at a university, called "Make Good Art."
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I want to make sure I get his quote correct.
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"I was convinced that there would be a knock on the door,
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and a man with a clipboard would be there to tell me that it was all over,
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that they'd caught up with me,
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and that I would now have to go and get a real job."
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Now, when there's a knock on my door,
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I still feel like some sort of dark-suited clipboard man is going to be there
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to tell me that my time is kind of up.
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And being a crap cook,
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I'm quite relieved when it's just someone with a pizza for the kids.
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(Laughter)
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But it's important to note that it's not all bad.
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There's a lot of goodness, I think, in those feelings.
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And this isn't some sort of motivational-poster type talk,
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a "Begin it now."
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It's more of an introspection into my own experiences of impostor syndrome,
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and how I've tried to learn to harness them
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and turn them into some sort of a force for good.
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And a great example of those experiences
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is in the early days of Atlassian's history.
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We were about four years old, and we had about 70 employees.
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And at the advice of our auditors --
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most good stories start with advice from an auditor --
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(Laughter)
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we entered the New South Wales Entrepreneur of the Year competition.
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Now, we were surprised when we won
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the New South Wales Entrepreneur of the Year
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in the young category for entrepreneurs under 40.
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There were eight categories.
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And so surprised, in fact,
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having looked at the list of people we were up against,
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I didn't even turn up to the awards ceremony.
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So Scott collected the gong by himself.
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And then we traveled off to the national awards.
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I thought I should probably turn up to those.
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So we rented some suits,
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I invited a girl that I had just met --
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we'll get to her in a second --
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(Laughter)
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and off we went to the big black-tie gala.
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Now, our surprise turned to shock
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in the first award of the night, the young category,
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when we beat all of the other states
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and won the Australian Young Entrepreneur of the Year.
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When the shock had worn off,
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we got a lot of champagne to the table and the party began,
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and the night was surely over.
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We were having a royally great time.
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Fast-forward to the last award of the night,
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and our shock turned into everybody's shock
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when we won the Australian Entrepreneur of the Year
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against all of the other categories.
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Now, so shocked was everybody else, in fact,
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that the announcer, the CEO of Ernst and Young,
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opened the envelope,
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and the first words out of his mouth were, "Oh my God."
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(Laughter)
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And then he reset himself and announced that we had won.
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(Laughter)
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So we knew we were in way too deep.
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And from there, the water got a lot deeper,
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because we jetted off to Monte Carlo
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to represent Australia in the World Entrepreneur of the Year
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against 40 other different countries.
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Now, in another rented suit, I was at one of the dinners
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and sitting next to a lovely man called Belmiro de Azevedo,
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who was the winner from Portugal.
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Total champion.
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At 65, he had been running his business for 40 years.
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He had 30,000 employees.
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Don't forget, at the time, we had 70.
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And he had four billion euro in turnover.
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And after a couple of wines,
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I remember admitting to him that I felt that we did not deserve to be there,
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that we were well out of our depth,
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and at some time, someone was going to figure this out
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and send us home to Australia.
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And he, I remember, just paused and looked at me
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and said that he felt exactly the same way
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and that he suspected all the winners were feeling that way,
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and that despite not knowing Scott or I or really anything about technology,
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he said that we were obviously doing something right
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and should probably just keep going.
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(Laughter)
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Now, this was a pretty big light bulb moment for me for two reasons.
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One, I realized that other people felt this as well.
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And two, I realized it doesn't go away with any form of success.
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I had assumed that successful people didn't feel like frauds,
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and I now know that the opposite is more likely to be true.
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And this isn't just a feeling that I have at work.
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It happens in my personal life, too.
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In the early days,
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I was flying back and forth to San Francisco every week for Atlassian,
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and I racked up a lot of frequent flyer points
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and got access to the Qantas business lounge.
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Now, if there's ever a place that I don't belong ...
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(Laughter)
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It doesn't help when I walk in and they generally look at me in shorts and jeans,
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or jeans and a T-shirt, and say, "Can I help you, son? Are you lost?"
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But anyway, sometimes life happens in the Qantas lounge
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when you'd least expect it.
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One morning, over a decade ago,
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I was sitting there on my regularly weekly commute,
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and a beautiful woman from way out of my league
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walked into the Qantas lounge and continued walking straight up to me
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in a case of mistaken identity.
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She thought I was someone else,
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so in this case, I actually was an impostor.
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(Laughter)
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But rather than freeze as I would have historically done
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or chivalrously maybe informed her of her error,
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I just tried to keep the conversation going.
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(Laughter)
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And classic Australian bullshit became some sort of forward movement
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and a phone number.
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And I took that girl to the awards ceremony a couple of months later.
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And more than a decade later,
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I'm incredibly happy that she is now my wife,
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and we have four amazing children together.
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(Applause)
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But you'd think that when I wake up every morning,
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I wouldn't roll over and look at her and think, "She's going to say,
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'Who are you, and who gave you that side of the bed?'
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(Laughter)
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'Get out of here.'"
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But she doesn't.
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And I think she sometimes feels the same way.
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And apparently, that's one of the reasons
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that we'll likely have a successful marriage.
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You see, in researching this talk,
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I learned that one of the attributes of the most successful relationships
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is when both partners feel out of their league.
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They feel that their partner is out of their league.
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They feel like impostors.
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And if they don't freeze, and they're thankful,
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and they work harder and they stretch to be the best partner they can,
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it's likely to be a very successful relationship.
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So if you have this feeling, don't freeze.
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Try to keep the conversation going,
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even if she thinks that you're somebody that you're not.
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Now, feeling like, or people thinking I'm someone I'm not
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actually happens quite frequently.
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A great example from my more recent past,
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a few months ago, I was up late at night with one of my kids,
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and I saw something on Twitter
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about Tesla saying that they could solve
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South Australia's rolling series of power crises
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with one of their large industrial batteries.
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Without thinking, I fired off a bunch of tweets,
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challenging them and saying were they really serious about this.
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And in doing so, I managed to kick a very small rock
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off a very big hill
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that turned into an avalanche that I found myself tumbling in the middle of.
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Because you see, a few hours later, Elon tweeted me back and said
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that they were deadly serious,
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that within a hundred days of contract signing,
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they could install a 100-megawatt-hour facility,
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which is a giant battery of a world-class size,
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one of the biggest ever made on the planet.
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And that's when all hell really broke loose.
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Within 24 hours, I had every major media outlet
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texting and emailing and trying to get in contact with me
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to get opinion as some sort of "expert" in energy.
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(Laughter)
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Now, at the time, I couldn't really have told you the difference
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between a one-and-a-half-volt AA battery that goes in my kids' toys
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and a 100-megawatt-hour industrial-scale battery facility
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that goes in South Australia
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that could potentially solve their power crisis.
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I was now feeling a chronic case of impostor syndrome,
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(Laughter)
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and it got truly bizarre.
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And I remember thinking to myself,
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"Shit. I've kind of started something here and I can't really get out.
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If I abandon the situation,
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I'm going to sort of set back renewables in Australia
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and maybe just look like a complete idiot
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because of my idiocy on Twitter."
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So I thought the only thing I could do
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was to try not to freeze and to try to learn.