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  • Improvement pill here. Welcome to the beefriend course where I show you how to

  • befriend more people. Today I want to reveal to you the secret to getting

  • better at talking to people. So let's dive right into it. So the first

  • thing you have to understand is that you were not born socially handicapped. We

  • humans are very social species, so much in fact that you can take a baby and put

  • him or her in a room full of people, and over time he or she will learn to speak

  • purely through observation. No one needs to go up to the baby and say "Hey! That's

  • a cat. Yes, cat, C-A-T. Meow meow. Say with me." you don't have to do any of that. If you

  • just talk and go about your daily activities, the baby is capable of

  • learning your language by pure observation. And this is because the

  • human brain is actually extremely good at identifying patterns and rules when

  • it comes to social interactions, which is basically what language is if you think

  • about it. Patterns and rules. So it's not that you

  • were born socially handicapped, the reason your social skills aren't that

  • great is simply because you haven't given your brain enough time to observe

  • interactions and become fluent in all of the patterns and rules. In short, you lack

  • practice. And for the most part it's not really your fault

  • because if you think about it, in modern times, we spend the large majority of our

  • time behind screens interacting with each other and it's only been getting

  • worse and worse every generation. I didn't get a smartphone until I was

  • almost like 20 years old, but nowadays most kids get their first smartphone

  • before they're even ten. And we all know that it doesn't take much skill or

  • practice to accept the friend request and shoot someone a message. We can type

  • and use emojis to communicate with each other but it's really really different

  • from actually talking to someone in real life. When you're texting there are

  • hundreds of little components that are not there, hundreds of little patterns

  • and rules that your brain isn't able to observe about the other person, for

  • example things like their body language, facial expressions, tonality, speed of

  • talking, proximity, eye contact, etc. These are all components that you have to pay

  • attention to when talking to someone else in real life

  • if you want to make friends. But all of these factors are completely missing

  • when you text or message someone using your magic little rectangle. In a way,

  • talking to people in real life is like a completely different language. The reason

  • why your social skills aren't that great and why you feel nervous about meeting

  • new people is simply because you haven't been giving your brain enough time to

  • properly learn this language. You're fluent in texting but you're barely

  • passing real-life talking. Sort of like how I barely passed Chinese in high

  • school. The secret to getting better at talking to people or learning any

  • language is to simply get more practice, to interact with more people, to give

  • your brain more opportunities to observe and learn the unique patterns and rules

  • of this language. Now you might be wondering "Improvement pill, okay that

  • makes sense and all, but how do I get more practice?" Well, when I was about 18

  • years old, I decided to take on what's called the

  • hundred interaction challenge to improve my social skills. Basically you have a

  • month to interact with 100 people it doesn't really matter how deep the

  • interactions are, heck you could run up to people and just say hi and then run

  • away and that would still count as an interaction. The majority of my

  • interactions during this challenge involved asking people for directions

  • while pretending that my phone died and that I was lost. And although these

  • interactions on a surface level seemed very simple and short, I eventually found

  • myself transitioning into deeper conversations. And this actually led to a

  • whole lot of practice for my brain, and I did see a pretty significant boost in my

  • social skills by the time the challenge was over. Now a quick little side note,

  • people always ask me to make a course for the hundred interaction challenge

  • whenever I talk about it, but to be honest it wouldn't really even be a

  • course, I literally just explained to you all you have to do. But then they'd often

  • say something like "Oh but it'd be helpful to have an accountability group

  • and also if you can motivate us every day of the challenge." So if that's

  • something you're interested in, I guess why not. I'll make the program cuz I do

  • enjoy helping you out. All you got to do is sign up for my mailing list using the

  • link in the description box below and I'll let you know the next time we run

  • this experimental program. Back to the topic at hand, here's a good analogy that

  • I want to leave you with when it comes to getting better at

  • talking to people. Watching videos to learn social skills is sort of like

  • watching videos when you're trying to learn how to ride a bike. Yes it can be

  • very helpful to watch others do it, it can be helpful to learn exactly how

  • bikes even work, but the fastest way to learn how to ride a bike is to just jump

  • on and start pedaling. Sure you'll probably fall over and over again but

  • eventually you'll get it right, eventually you'll figure out how to

  • balance properly. And this is basically what happens when you go out and start

  • talking to more people. Sure you'll probably have a couple of awkward

  • interactions but eventually you will learn the patterns and rules of the

  • culture, you'll learn what's funny, what's not appropriate, and over time you will

  • learn how to speak with finesse, you will learn how to balance. So just go out

  • there and start talking to more people. That's the secret.

  • Hope you guys like this video, if you want to learn more about the theory

  • behind making friends, I suggest you start from the very beginning of the

  • beefriend course by clicking over here or on the link in the description box below.

  • Besides that, guys, stay tuned.

Improvement pill here. Welcome to the beefriend course where I show you how to

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A2 US talking language people social brain practice

Secret To Getting Better At Talking To People

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    Mackenzie posted on 2019/11/25
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