Can you please come over, and bring the Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup?

For your son?

I'm sick.

How did I get sick?

I take a multi-vitamin every day, I get enough sleep every night, I wash my hands religiously.

Where did I go wrong?

Is there no justice in this world?

According to WebMD, I either have a cold, or death will be upon me at any moment.

No, stop!

You can't take care of me!

I'm supposed to be taking care of you.

I don't need to go to a doctor for a cold, all right?

I've got my old fashioned remedy right here.

Just like my Aunt Hilda used to give me when I was a toddler.

No, I have got to go to work today.

They are gonna fall apart at the office if I don't show up!

Now, question for you, how much of this is too much?

Because I think I'm starting to reach that point!

I'm not skipping my workout just 'cause of a little cold.

No days off, bro.

I go hard.

Okay, all right, I'm taking the day off.

I'm not gonna be coming in today, I really don't feel well.

I've got a headache, fever, chills, and I threw up right before I made this phone call, but that was just because I was nervous about calling in sick.

Yeah, I'm sick.

Sick of all you suckas at the office.

Ha ha, gotcha!

Actually no, I have diarrhea, so I'm not coming in today.

A sick day is a perfect opportunity to catch up on some reading.

Or to just watch YouTube for eight hours.

Specifically the Frank James channel.

Dora!

Dora, you idiot!

Swiper's right next to you!

He's literally right there!

Oh my gosh.

You suck at exploring.

It hurts to much to move my body.

But I gotta get up and get that video game controller, or this will have been a wasted sick day.

Time to regain my strength the only way I know how... arguing with fools online.

Look at you, you're a mess!

You're gonna let a little cold stop you?

Pull it together, man!

♪ When you've got a cold ♪

♪ And you're feelin' low ♪

♪ Just remember when ♪

♪ Your sinuses were clear ♪

♪ And then make yourself ♪

♪ Some chicken soup ♪

All I have done today is rest and take my medication at the appropriate times.

So why can't I stop pooping?

Mom!

Mom!

It's me!

I have a headache, chills, other stuff.