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  • - WELL, IT IS AWARDS SEASON HERE IN LOS ANGELES.

  • THIS MORNING, ALL THE OSCAR NOMINATIONS WERE ANNOUNCED,

  • SO TO THE NOMINEES, I SAY CONGRATULATIONS,

  • AND EVEN THOUGH I'M HOSTING, I DON'T GET TO PICK WHO WINS,

  • SO NO MATTER HOW MUCH

  • YOU TRY TO BRIBE ME WITH CASH AND GIFTS,

  • I CAN'T HELP YOU.

  • BUT THAT SHOULDN'T STOP YOU FROM TRYING.

  • [laughter]

  • ESPECIALLY CASH.

  • I'LL TAKE IT.

  • I JUST--SEE WHAT I CAN DO, BUT I PROBABLY CAN'T DO ANYTHING.

  • A LOT OF AWARD SHOWS COMING UP, AND THEN FOR EVERY AWARD SHOW,

  • THERE'S ALWAYS A NEW LIST THAT COMES OUT.

  • THERE'S BEST DRESSED OR MOST POWERFUL OR MOST SCARVES.

  • UM...

  • STEVEN TYLER WINS THAT ONE EVERY SINGLE YEAR.

  • AND I'VE BEEN ON A LOT OF LISTS.

  • A FEW YEARS AGO, PORTIA AND I WERE ON

  • THE MOST DESIRABLE NEIGHBOR LIST.

  • WE WERE NUMBER TWO BEHIND THE OBAMAS.

  • IT'S TRUE.

  • AND NUMBER THREE WAS ANYBODY BUT HONEY BOO BOO.

  • I WAS ALSO ON THE LIST OF MOST TRUSTED PEOPLE IN AMERICA.

  • I WAS NUMBER FOUR.

  • [cheers and applause]

  • I WAS NUMBER 14.

  • I'M SORRY.

  • I LIED, AND THAT'S WHY I WAS NOT HIGHER ON THE LIST.

  • OKAY, I WAS 18.

  • I SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN ON THAT LIST AT ALL.

  • AND THEN THERE'S A NEW LIST THAT CAME OUT LAST WEEK

  • THAT PORTIA AND I ARE ON.

  • IT'S THE TOP TEN HOTTEST COUPLES.

  • AND I WAS FLATTERED. [cheers and applause]

  • I KNOW.

  • THANK YOU.

  • THANK YOU.

  • I WAS FLATTERED, UNTIL I WAS TOLD THE ENTIRE NAME OF THE LIST

  • IS CALLED THE TOP TEN HOTTEST COUPLES

  • WE'D LIKE TO SEE A SEX TAPE FROM.

  • [laughter]

  • FIRST OF ALL, WHAT?

  • AND SECOND OF ALL, NOW I KNOW WHY SO MANY PEOPLE

  • WANT ME TO BE THEIR NEIGHBOR.

  • THE LIST IS FROM VIVID ENTERTAINMENT.

  • I DON'T KNOW WHO THEY ARE,

  • BUT APPARENTLY THEY MAKE SOME OF THE MOST POPULAR MOVIES

  • THAT YOU HAVE TO PAY TO WATCH AT MOTELS.

  • AND HERE'S THE LIST.

  • THIS IS THE LIST RIGHT HERE.

  • HERE WE ARE AT THE BOTTOM.

  • PORTIA AND ELLEN UNDER VICTORIA AND DAVID,

  • WHICH IS--THAT'S PROBABLY A TIE.

  • THEY BEAT US BASICALLY JUST BY A LITTLE BIT.

  • AND THEN THERE'S JESSICA BIEL AND JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE.

  • AND IT'S AN HONOR TO BE ON THE SAME LIST AS THEM,

  • BUT THEN I WAS TOLD

  • THAT THESE ARE THE ONLY TEN CELEBRITY COUPLES

  • THAT DON'T HAVE A SEX TAPE.

  • SO THAT'S WHY WE'RE ON HERE.

  • ANGELINA AND BRAD ARE THERE.

  • AND THEY MOVED UP THIS YEAR.

  • LAST YEAR, THEY WERE KNOCKED OFF--THE COUPLE--

  • THE SWIFFER COMMERCIAL, THAT COUPLE,

  • THEY WERE ON THERE.

  • [laughter]

  • UM, BEYONCE AND JAY-Z ARE NUMBER THREE,

  • BUT IF THE SOUNDTRACK WAS--

  • IT'D BE NUMBER ONE IF THEY HAD A SOUNDTRACK.

  • AND THEN, CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS?

  • I'M KIND OF SHOCKED.

  • PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON

  • ARE THE NUMBER ONE COUPLE

  • THAT PEOPLE WOULD LIKE TO SEE A SEX TAPE FROM.

  • THAT SEEMS LIKE A STRANGE CHOICE.

  • THEY'RE HIGHER THAN KIM AND KANYE,

  • AND I CAN SEE WHAT--

  • HAVE YOU SEEN WHAT THEY DO ON A MOTORCYCLE?

  • THAT'S A LOT--

  • THAT'S A LOT TO TOP.

  • IF YOU'RE JUST TUNING IN RIGHT NOW,

  • I'M TALKING ABOUT CELEBRITY SEX TAPES.

  • [laughter]

  • WHAT HAPPENED TO ME?

  • I DON'T KNOW WHY PEOPLE WANT TO SEE A SEX TAPE,

  • BUT IF PEOPLE WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS IN OUR BEDROOM,

  • I WILL TELL YOU WHAT HAPPENS IN OUR BEDROOM.

  • IT IS ALWAYS HOT, I WILL TELL YOU THAT.

  • NO, SERIOUSLY.

  • [cheers and applause]

  • I MEAN, HOT.

  • WE HAVE TO GET THAT THERMOSTAT FIXED,

  • 'CAUSE I LIKE COOLER USUALLY.

  • BESIDES, I KNOW WHAT YOU PEOPLE WANT FROM ME.

  • IT'S NOT A TAPE. IT'S A DANCE.

- WELL, IT IS AWARDS SEASON HERE IN LOS ANGELES.

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A2 US TheEllenShow list tape portia flattered top ten

Ellen and Portia Are Hot!

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    294701639 posted on 2019/11/17
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