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00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,490 I've done this show for 17 seasons.
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And just like me, each year it just keeps getting hotter.
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Sometimes, things happen that are too hot for TV.
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But I show them anyway because you deserve to see the truth.
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Watch.
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[CROWD CHEERING]
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[MUSIC PLAYING]
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00:00:18,720 --> 00:00:21,119 Let's see what else you have in here.
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What's that?
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Birth control.
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OK.
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[LAUGHTER]
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Yeah.
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I don't know what that looks like.
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Name three curse words you say the most.
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[BLEEP]
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What's your favorite curse word?
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[BLEEP] me.
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Favorite G-rated curse word.
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Shazam.
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G-rated curse word, [BLEEP].
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I once went on a blind date with a guy, an adult man,
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who had braces.
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Why is it so bad that someone had--
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They hurt.
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They hurt your "pikachu."
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Everything hurts, OK.
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What did you say?
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Pikachu.
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It's that-- my little special spot.
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That's what I call it.
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Last season, you had a product that you were--
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that we-- we can't talk about on this show,
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but it's a very popular product.
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And you got some--
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Vibrator.
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You can say, vibrator.
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I don't think we can.
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00:01:19,600 --> 00:01:20,320 I guess we can.
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Especially--
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What is your favorite body part on A-Rod?
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Ooh.
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Stop.
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What could you not do without?
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Stop.
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I'm going to say--
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I love his arms.
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OK.
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Stop.
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All right.
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Well, what's your favorite?
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I love his penis.
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I really do.
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00:01:47,631 --> 00:01:51,082 [CROWD CHEERING]
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00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:02,770 I know you are worried about your outfit,
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and now I realize why.
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We just got married at city hall.
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And then-- I also didn't want to torture my friends
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and make them be bridesmaids.
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Yeah.
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Do you want to spend, like, $150 on this bogus-ass dress that
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you're--
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That you'll never wear again.
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--never gonna wear again, and spend a weekend
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with a bunch of bitches that you don't know?
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And then you're celebrating them and they're, like,
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here's a penis necklace.
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Here's a penis hat.
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Let's play pin the penis on the penis.
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And I'm, like, if I'm about to get married,
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I don't want to wear a penis candy necklace.
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I want a real penis that's not the penis I'm going to have
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forever.
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You know?
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I have to say, that's the record number of the times someone
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has said penis within 60 seconds.
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That was-- congratulations, you win a 65" TCL Roku TV.
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Strip culture is really popular right now.
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And I've noticed that there are a lot of lazy ones
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that aren't really putting forth a lot of effort.
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00:03:10,530 --> 00:03:11,530 Did you see my twerking?
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Did you see what I did?
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Let me see it.
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OK, OK.
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00:03:18,530 --> 00:03:19,460 No, no, no.
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No?
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How do I do it?
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00:03:27,413 --> 00:03:29,330 That'll get you a couple of bucks right there.
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Yeah?
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Yeah!
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Craziest place you've had sex?
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My [BLEEP].
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00:03:41,862 --> 00:03:43,820 'Cause I know you love games, and I love games.
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Yes.
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So what they give you the hospital
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are these breathing things right?
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And whoever can suck their balls the hardest, wins.
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OK, ready?
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You suck, not blow?
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You-- of course I'd have to teach her.
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00:04:02,030 --> 00:04:02,630 Yes, Ellen.
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00:04:05,630 --> 00:04:07,780 We'll be back.