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  • -Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water.

  • Jack fell down, and broke his crown, and that's why you should NEVER GO OUTSIDE!

  • EVERYTHING OUTSIDE WILL KILL YOU, DO YOU UNDERSTAND?

  • - Yes!

  • - DO YOU UNDERSTAND?! - YES, YES, I UNDERSTAND! - YES, MOMMY, I UNDERSTAND!

  • *Crying*

  • - Good. Because we can't risk you catching Polio.

  • - Or... we can just get vaccinated like Sara?

  • - Well... Sara's mother is an IDIOT!

  • WHO WANTS CHILDREN TO HAVE ALUMINUM IN THEIR BLOOD!!!

  • DOOO YOUUU UNDERRSSTAAAAAAANND?!?!?!

  • - (crying)

  • -Go, Tortoise!

  • Teach us a lesson about hard work and perseverance!

  • -You know he's only winning 'cause he's on steroids, right?

  • -(Grunting)

  • I'M A TORTOISE!

  • (Grunting)

  • -Oh...

  • -Yeah...

  • -Hey, guys, it's me, Boy.

  • Since you all love my last two videos so much, we're doin' it all again!

  • That's right!

  • This is the "Boy Who Cried Wolf Prank," Part 3!

  • -*Air horns*

  • -WOLF, WOLF, THERE'S WOLF KILLING ALL THESE SHEEP!

  • -*Air Horns*

  • -You're such a dumb-dumb, bro! You got PRAAAAAAAANKED!

  • -Bro, why did you do this again?

  • -'Cause you're so stupid! Ha!

  • Like and subscribe!

  • Imma prank my brother again by lighting his poop on fire!

  • -You kids need to eat more food. You're too skinny!

  • -Hmph! I'm sorry, what? Do our bodies not fit the image that YOU prefer?

  • -Yeah, we're not interested in eating your crappy house.

  • -Yeah, I'm sorry we're "too skinny" for you!

  • -Yeah, and all these carbs will just throw me out of ketosis

  • -Yeah, there is no way that we would ever eat this much sugar!

  • -Yeah, call us when you have an avocado and steak house.

  • -Yeah, ya old hag! hff

  • -You can't just throw us out like this! We got rights!

  • -Well, I'm sorry, but once that blonde girl moved in, then another blonde girl moved in, then they opened up the Whole Foods down the street, the property value shot up and you guys fell behind on rent

  • -Okay, but we built this house.

  • I'm sorry, do you have a deed?

  • -We're f*cking bears!

  • -*Growling*

  • -*Exclaiming*

  • -Oh no! It's the Big Bad Wolf!

  • -Please spare us, Wolf!

  • -Please!

  • -Umm, actually, I went vegan 2 years ago, and I'll tell you what, I could NOT be happier!

  • -Oh, here we go....

  • -Yeah, it's crazy, the moment I went vegan, my fur got softer,-

  • (Overlapping talk about how veganism is so "great".)

  • *Even more talk about vegan stuff*

  • Acai?

  • Some people think its ah-kai but it's a-sa-yi.

  • It's a Brazilian word.

  • Hey guys it's Jack!

  • So on my way to the market, I got these magic beans

  • from a strange man.

  • So I thought,

  • why not try them on camera?

  • This is...

  • "The Magical Bean Challenge"!

  • OH!

  • OOOHHHH!! OH GOD!!

  • OH THERE'S A BEANSTALK COMING OUT OF MY RIBS!

  • *Screams*

  • -Learn from your son, my son.

  • *Laughing*

  • *More laughing*

  • Yeah, you think tortles, -tur- turtles normally look like that?

  • -Tortles don't.

  • -Okay, well, what about turtles?

  • I like tortles.

  • Imma prank my brother again by lighting his poop on fire!

  • *laughs*

  • Yeah, there's no way *scoffs* we would ever eat *scoffs again* this much sugar *scoffs*

  • *Montage of Ian scoffing*

  • Nah.

  • -Well, um, how about I shoot you guys,

  • and I can eat your little bear asses!

  • -Go that way!

  • -You can eat this bear ass!

  • -Is it meaty?

  • -Say- tell the man thank you

  • -Well, I hope you guys had a magical time watching this video.

  • If you haven't yet hit the subscribe button, please do so!

  • There's a button on the screen somewhere, I don't know.

  • If you want to see "IF DISNEY MOVIES WERE REAL", click the box on the left.

  • -And if you want to watch a documentary about a very, special YouTuber, hit that box on the right.

-Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water.

Subtitles and vocabulary

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B1 US prank vegan imma tortoise house yeah sara

IF FAIRY TALES WERE MODERN DAY

Video vocabulary