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  • Did you ever feel, like when you were being bullied that you wanted to take your own life?

  • Yeah.

  • Sorry.

  • Yeah.

  • Virginia and I met in middle school.

  • Our relationship was basically, she was someone that I picked on.

  • I was a bully to Virginia.

  • So, my first encounter with bullying, I guess with her, probably was around fifth grade.

  • I think I said nasty things about how much she weighed.

  • The kids I went to school with in elementary and middle school, we all lived in the same neighborhood.

  • So, I wouldn't come outside most of the time because most of the kids that kind of were mean to me lived in my neighborhood.

  • I can't say that I really had any friends back then.

  • I was a bit underweight.

  • I had eyeglasses.

  • I went through seven years of orthodontic work.

  • I was picked on for that, and so I would project it onto her for being overweight.

  • Do you have any questions for Nyasha?

  • I guess the main question would just be, why now?

  • As selfish as it sounds, I don't wanna feel guilty for something that my childhood self was doing.

  • - Hi. - Hi.

  • How are you?

  • I'm good, how are you?

  • I'm good.

  • You look good.

  • Thank you.

  • So do you.

  • What do you remember about me from grade school?

  • You always were so bubbly, I remember that.

  • I don't know.

  • What do you remember about me?

  • I remember more of what I said about you and I don't...

  • I know a lot of the, I guess, the words, the harsh words were more about my appearance.

  • I remember I was picking on you about your weight.

  • Nobody noticed the shift, but my grandmother passed away when I was in middle school, and she used to take medicine for cancer, and it made her gain a lot of weight because she wasn't really worried about how big she was.

  • I kind of stopped worrying about how big I got.

  • People just kept bothering me, and I think the major question was just, why me?

  • I felt like I was always very nice to you and very nice to everybody else, so it just, it bothered me because it was just like what did I ever do to you all for me to even be subjected to that?

  • I was underweight, and I was taking medicine to be a healthy weight, and so I was projecting that on you and I don't think that I even had any problem with the way you looked or your weight at all.

  • Why didn't you stop?

  • I was being bullied, and so I knew it was wrong, you know?

  • I didn't want that done to me, but yet, I turn around and was doing it to other people.

  • I had no idea you were being bullied, either.

  • It's funny you thought that I was very bubbly and friendly because I was wearing this like, I wear it better now and more honest about my feelings, but I was definitely wearing a facade.

  • Right.

  • I'd go home, cry about it, come back and be all like, ne ne ne ne ne ne ne.

  • Mm hm.

  • And then I'd pick on people that I felt like weren't gonna pick back with me.

  • Right.

  • It's not you, I mean it wasn't just you, so I'm not gonna sit here and give you all of that.

  • Did you ever feel, like when you were being bullied that you wanted to take your own life?

  • Yeah.

  • Sorry.

  • Yeah.

  • It was definitely a thought.

  • This is probably the first time I've ever said it out loud.

  • Well, probably the second time I've ever said it out loud but, yeah.

  • I can't say that I hadn't thought about it.

  • It's such a sad thing to think about.

  • Wait, you said you thought about this too?

  • Uh, Yes.

  • Just short answer, yes.

  • I was insecure for a long time about my weight, about my appearance, about the way I dress.

  • It took a long time for me to kind of like me.

  • The more I'm listening to you, the more I feel like, yeah.

  • We had a lot in common.

  • It'd take a lot for me to really hate you.

  • I didn't feel like I hated you then.

  • I don't feel like I hate you now.

  • And it took a long time for me to say, even though I haven't said it to you, that I forgive you for that.

  • - It was a lot to deal with... - I'm sorry.

  • It's okay.

  • It was a lot to deal with ,and I just wanted to move on from it.

  • I've never actually had something like that happen to me before.

  • I definitely did not expect for Virginia and I to have so much in common.

  • It felt good, just to kinda close a sorta chapter in my life that was pretty sucky.

  • I know, it's okay!

  • Even if you didn't let me, I was gonna hug you.

  • Oh my god, no.

  • Yes.

  • Yes.

  • You're like, I was gonna hug you anyway because I don't care.

Did you ever feel, like when you were being bullied that you wanted to take your own life?

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