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  • - Pause, you might as well just go

  • grab your parents right now,

  • so you can watch the video with them,

  • so they can proceed to deny every single thing I say.

  • Whaddup everyone; it's your girl, Superwoman.

  • And let me just preference this entire video

  • by saying, based on a true story.

  • And let's be real clear right off the bat here, okay?

  • Kids are hella annoying.

  • Like me, for example.

  • So annoying.

  • The most annoying.

  • But here's the thing, right?

  • This is my channel.

  • I can talk about whatever the f I want, so yo,

  • here's five annoying things your parents definitely do.

  • Number one, unnecessary comments.(UGH)

  • Oooh, can you feel your blood boiling already?

  • hachachachacha

  • It doesn't matter where your parents are from, okay.

  • Where they were born, where they were raised,

  • because all parents speak one universal language,

  • and that is the language of guilt trips.

  • No matter what I do, what we're talking about,

  • or how good of a child I've been,

  • my mom simply cannot end a sentence

  • without an unnecessary comment.

  • An unnecessary comment.

  • What?

  • Hey mom, I'll be home late tonight.

  • It's Kevin's memorial.

  • - Hon, that's okay.

  • I know your friend's more important than me.

  • - Oh.

  • (thumps up steps)

  • I am so tired.

  • I had the longest day ever at work.

  • I'm going straight to bed.

  • - Okay, (Pause)I know this just hotel for you anyways.

  • - Okay Dad, my friends are coming over.

  • Please do not get drunk

  • and talk about politics with them, okay?

  • - Fine.

  • (doorbell rings)

  • - Hey, how's it going?

  • - Hello, sorry, Lilly say I'm not allowed to talk to you.

  • - Why?

  • What's wrong with you?

  • Which petty Olympics are you competing in?

  • - (laughs) You make such funny joke.

  • That's okay.

  • I'm going to die soon, anyways.

  • - Number two, airport life.

  • I think I speak on behalf of all of humanity

  • when I say if I travel anywhere with my parents,

  • I am for sure going to reach the airport

  • way too many hours early for my flight.

  • - Oh Lilly, what time we leaving for airport?

  • - Oh, it's a domestic flight,

  • so an hour and a half should be fine.

  • - Huh, they saying on news,

  • make sure you go three hour early.

  • - Really?

  • Did they say that?

  • On the news?

  • It's fine, Mom; an hour and a half is fine, 7:00.

  • - Google's saying make sure you get there early.

  • - Mom, we're not flying to India.

  • Okay, 7:00 p.m. will be fine, trust me.

  • - Okay, we leave 6:30 just in case we get a red light, okay?

  • - Sure.

  • - Wife, what time we leaving for airport?

  • - Lilly said 4:00.

  • - Not to mention,

  • if my mom tells me we're leaving the house at 4:00 p.m.,

  • at 3:30 p.m., she gonna slap me for being late.

  • You telling bloody lies.

  • You know evolution, right?

  • Like, how we started as these little monkey things

  • and we evolved into, like, I don't know, whatever,

  • like vloggers or whatever the eff, yeah.

  • This is like right here, this prehistoric animal;

  • this is live footage of how early I got to the airport

  • with my parents. (laughs)

  • Oh god, it's funny, it's funny.

  • Click subscribe, shut up.

  • Not to mention, this happens every single time.

  • - Oh Lilly, make sure you print ticket, okay?

  • - No Mom, you don't need to print the tickets.

  • It's on my phone.

  • - What if something happened, huh?

  • - What, what could possibly happen?

  • - You get some sort of virus.

  • - Mom, I haven't printed a plane ticket since 2010.

  • Okay, we're fine.

  • - Okay.

  • - Here's the thing, though.

  • When your mom says okay, you have to listen to the tone,

  • because there's okay and then there's okay.

  • When she says okay, you think she's just fine

  • and accepting you ain't gonna print that ticket?

  • Nahh, that cues the petty Olympics.

  • Because now every single thing that happens

  • from this point on will be used against you

  • to prove her point, even if it's completely irrelevant.

  • - Can I have your passport, please?

  • - You see.

  • This is why we should have print ticket.

  • - Sorry, we don't have any more aisle seats.

  • - You see.

  • This is what happen when you don't print ticket.

  • - And it'll be $50 for the bag.

  • - You see.

  • Now we pay $50 penalty for no ticket.

  • - Speaking of which, zoop, number three.

  • Refusing technology.

  • Did I press record?

  • Oh! (gasps)

  • Here's the thing, right?

  • My Dad had to grow up doing everything himself

  • in what were apparently the worst possible conditions.

  • I had to walk bloody 80 kilometers in the snow, okay.

  • No shoe, no road, so bloody hard, okay.

  • There was no school, even. (laughs)

  • So it makes sense that he's a little bit stubborn

  • when it comes to receiving help,

  • especially help from machines.

  • A.K.A., my dad refuses to accept the capabilities

  • of technology.

  • - Okay, I tell you how to get there.

  • - Oh, that's okay, Dad, I can just GPS it.

  • - Why you going to waste the GPS?

  • I tell you.

  • - Waste?

  • Okay Dad, the GPS isn't some sort of limited resource.

  • - GPS doesn't know, okay?

  • - This piece of Google software doesn't know

  • how to get to the closest mall, really?

  • I'm pretty sure it does.

  • - No. - That wasn't a question.

  • - No. - Dad.

  • - No. - Stop.

  • - No.

  • - Dad.

  • - No.

  • - [GPS] Navigating to the mall.

  • - It's going to send you wrong way.

  • - But Dad, can you please just let me do this one thing?

  • - Look, look, it going to take you wrong way.

  • It's going to take bloody hour now.

  • - Okay, it literally says six minutes.

  • - Oh my god, one hour.

  • - [GPS] Turn left.

  • - Turn left here.

  • - I know.

  • - [GPS] Turn right.

  • - Right here.

  • - [GPS] Turn left.

  • - Left.

  • Oh Lilly, pay attention, I'm telling you direction.

  • - Every brown father ever is just like, Google a map?

  • Oh no, okay, 'cause we goin' turn right at that rock.

  • I know, trust me, that tree over there, we turn left.

  • We make a U-turn where that car always parked.

  • (laughs)

  • Number four, cooking obsession.

  • This one might be particular to brown kids, to be honest,

  • because I don't know what you white kids stay eating,

  • and I feel like you all just went to town

  • with some Hamburger Helper, but brown kids,

  • it was a little different,

  • because from childhood to literally now,

  • full-grown adulthood,

  • my mom is just absolutely obsessed

  • with cooking me food.

  • She has an obsession to insure that I've eaten,

  • and I know what you're thinking.

  • Oh, that's so sweet.

  • Oh, don't complain about that.

  • And I agree, it's sweet,

  • but too much of anything is not good.

  • She will harass me to cook for me.

  • She will uproot my life to serve me a meal,

  • to the point where it's an inconvenience.

  • I think that's a great idea.

  • Should we go over next steps?

  • Sorry, excuse me one second.

  • - Oh Lilly, what you want to eat?

  • - Mom, I'm on a call right now.

  • Don't worry about it.

  • So sorry, yes, you were saying?

  • (phone buzzes)

  • Oh sorry, one more second.

  • Hello?

  • - [Mom] Hi Lilly, what you want me to make you for lunch?

  • - Mom, I said I'm doing something.

  • I'll figure it out; don't worry.

  • You don't need to make me anything.

  • I'm so sorry. (laptop beeps)

  • You were saying something about mission statements?

  • Yeah, I see the email.

  • (phone jangles)

  • So sorry, that all sounds great.

  • I'll make sure I get those things over to you.

  • Okay, speak soon, cool beans, bye-bye.

  • - So, do you want cool bean with rice?

  • - Oh my god, yes, yes Mom, I'm hungry.

  • Could you please make me a grilled cheese?

  • - Hmmm, okay.

  • I know I'm just slave.

  • - Because in my mom's brain, there's only two scenarios

  • when it comes to me eating.

  • First, when she cooks for me.

  • I am so happy.

  • And second, when she doesn't.

  • Help.

  • Number five, FaceTime.

  • So, even though my parents struggle with technology a bit,

  • they've actually improved a lot.

  • They officially know how to FaceTime.

  • Like, we do it all the time.

  • They know how to call; they know how to hang up.

  • They understand FaceTime is not a service to book a facial.

  • Having said that,

  • there's still one thing they struggle with.

  • Hey Dad, how's it going?

  • - Hello Lilly?

  • - Dad, turn your screen.

  • - Huh? Okay.

  • Now do backwards.

  • - I know; turn your screen.

  • - All right, I dumb.

  • - No, you just have to turn your phone.

  • - Now do bloody sideways.

  • - Dad, you must have locked the screen somehow.

  • - Lock my screen.

  • My parakeet, you have key for screen lock?

  • - It's okay, I will turn my screen; don't worry.

  • - Okay, me too.

  • - No, you stay.

  • - I stay?

  • - Dad, stop turning the screen.

  • - Hello?

  • - I'm up in here getting motion sickness

  • from FaceTiming my parents.

  • Okay, FaceTiming my parents is a goddamn raid.

  • Okay, the whole experience is just one giant fidget spinner.

  • But yo, I wouldn't trade my parents for the world.

  • Parents are awesome, 'cause you know what?

  • No matter how annoying they are, trust me,

  • you 10 times more annoying.

  • Also, do you like the pin?

  • We're so close to hitting our goal

  • of 16,000 Rafikis and pins.

  • Girllove.com is where you can go.

  • October 11th is the campaign end.

  • Send girls to school in Kenya.

  • Information is in the description.

  • Okay, do the end card.

  • (laughs)

  • Hey you all, stop.

  • Don't go anywhere.

  • Don't you dare go anywhere.

  • First you gotta give us a thumbs up.

  • Do it; do it for a sister.

  • You want to see some more videos to this one?

  • Click right over there.

  • Second vlog, channel daily vlogs, it's lit.