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  • Do you sometimes get shy when you meet someone new?

  • Do you sometimes get nervous when you're in front of a large group of people?

  • Or maybe, you worry a little bit too much if other people like you or not.

  • I used to feel all of these things, but there was one realization that I had that made all of these feelings go away.

  • Back in high school I really wanted to be that cool kid who was always confident, relaxed, and smooth in every single situation.

  • But I noticed that when I tried talking to an attractive girl or a popular kid, this awkward feeling would take over my entire body.

  • And the more I thought about this feeling, the worse it all got.

  • So I set out on a mission to get rid of this feeling forever.

  • At first I tried following the usual advice of, "just be yourself" or "don't worry about what other people think."

  • And this stuff did help a little bit, but I felt like these little mindsets were only treating the symptoms of my shyness and not the real problem.

  • But one late afternoon, something really magical happened to me.

  • I found this old sheet of paper that had my dad's signature on it and my old teacher's signature on it.

  • When I saw this, I immediately had a flashback to my younger self, where I was standing in my old classroom and looking up at my teacher who was yelling at me.

  • She gave me a sheet of paper and said, "Your parents have to sign this."

  • "It's a sheet of paper saying that you were talking too much in class, and it's not okay."

  • I looked over at my friends and I saw that they were laughing at me.

  • And then when I got home and showed the paper to my parents, they got mad at me.

  • So, it was my entire world was either laughing at me or getting mad at me for talking a little bit too much, or just expressing myself a little bit too much.

  • Nobody ever calmly or empathetically told me why I should not talk in class.

  • It was always done in a harsh and stern way. Whether it's in a school, at a restaurant, or even at home, kids are almost always told to sit down, be quiet, and behave like a good kid.

  • And if they don't do this, they are punished for it.

  • And then years later, we wonder why we are nervous to speak up or to put ourselves out there in some type of way.

  • If you truly want to get rid of your shyness and awkwardness, you need to do two simple things.

  • The first thing is simply acknowledge that you are not some loser or weird person for feeling those feelings.

  • Because most of us were literally raised in a way to feel like this.

  • And the second thing you have to do is something that I call gradual exposure.

  • You need to think about the scariest thing that you can do socially, then slowly start working towards doing that thing.

  • For me, it was going up to a random girl on the street and getting her phone number.

  • So, I start off small.

  • I would say, "Hey, what time is it?"

  • Then I said, "Are you having a good day?

  • "It's nice weather we're having, eh?"

  • And inch by inch I just kept pushing myself more and more outside of my comfort zone.

  • And after about a year of doing this every single day, I got to the point where I could have that conversation without it feeling forced or awkward.

  • And if all that sounds like it's too much, then do something even smaller.

  • Simply smile at someone, make eye contact with someone. Even leaving your house and being around other people could be enough.

  • Nothing is too small when you start off.

  • But you have to figure this out for yourself.

  • I know this sounds incredibly cliche, but the journey of 1,000 miles begins with one step.

  • If you consistently take steps in a single direction, it's impossible for you to not eventually get to where you want to go.

  • Trust the journey and believe in yourself.

  • Check out my last video about how to stop caring what people think of you, and I'll see you there.

Do you sometimes get shy when you meet someone new?

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How To Stop Being Shy And Awkward (Animated)

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    Helena posted on 2019/11/26
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