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Do you sometimes get shy when you meet someone new?
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Do you sometimes get nervous when you're in front of a large group of people?
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Or maybe, you worry a little bit too much if other people like you or not.
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I used to feel all of these things, but there was one realization that I had that made all of these feelings go away.
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Back in high school I really wanted to be that cool kid who was always confident, relaxed, and smooth in every single situation.
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But I noticed that when I tried talking to an attractive girl or a popular kid, this awkward feeling would take over my entire body.
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And the more I thought about this feeling, the worse it all got.
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So I set out on a mission to get rid of this feeling forever.
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At first I tried following the usual advice of, "just be yourself" or "don't worry about what other people think."
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And this stuff did help a little bit, but I felt like these little mindsets were only treating the symptoms of my shyness and not the real problem.
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But one late afternoon, something really magical happened to me.
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I found this old sheet of paper that had my dad's signature on it and my old teacher's signature on it.
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When I saw this, I immediately had a flashback to my younger self, where I was standing in my old classroom and looking up at my teacher who was yelling at me.
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She gave me a sheet of paper and said, "Your parents have to sign this."
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"It's a sheet of paper saying that you were talking too much in class, and it's not okay."
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I looked over at my friends and I saw that they were laughing at me.
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And then when I got home and showed the paper to my parents, they got mad at me.
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So, it was my entire world was either laughing at me or getting mad at me for talking a little bit too much, or just expressing myself a little bit too much.
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Nobody ever calmly or empathetically told me why I should not talk in class.
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It was always done in a harsh and stern way. Whether it's in a school, at a restaurant, or even at home, kids are almost always told to sit down, be quiet, and behave like a good kid.
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And if they don't do this, they are punished for it.
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And then years later, we wonder why we are nervous to speak up or to put ourselves out there in some type of way.
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If you truly want to get rid of your shyness and awkwardness, you need to do two simple things.
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The first thing is simply acknowledge that you are not some loser or weird person for feeling those feelings.
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Because most of us were literally raised in a way to feel like this.
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And the second thing you have to do is something that I call gradual exposure.
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You need to think about the scariest thing that you can do socially, then slowly start working towards doing that thing.
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For me, it was going up to a random girl on the street and getting her phone number.
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So, I start off small.
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I would say, "Hey, what time is it?"
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Then I said, "Are you having a good day?
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"It's nice weather we're having, eh?"
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And inch by inch I just kept pushing myself more and more outside of my comfort zone.
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And after about a year of doing this every single day, I got to the point where I could have that conversation without it feeling forced or awkward.
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And if all that sounds like it's too much, then do something even smaller.
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Simply smile at someone, make eye contact with someone. Even leaving your house and being around other people could be enough.
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Nothing is too small when you start off.
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But you have to figure this out for yourself.
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I know this sounds incredibly cliche, but the journey of 1,000 miles begins with one step.
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If you consistently take steps in a single direction, it's impossible for you to not eventually get to where you want to go.
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Trust the journey and believe in yourself.
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Check out my last video about how to stop caring what people think of you, and I'll see you there.