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Here are true facts about the owl.
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Baby Owls are called Owlets and they look like a cotton ball that grew a face, and legs.
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Owlets are born without flight feathers.
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And because they're vulnerable, they camouflage themselves as muppets.
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The Owl has large front facing eyes which give it a wide range of binocular vision.
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Its eyes are nearly immobile in their sockets.
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And therefore it must swivel its head around its neck to see.
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Some owls bob their heads up and down in order to maximize their depth perception.
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Try it right now. Focus on an object and bob your head up and down.
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That's right, keep bobbing your head.
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It doesn't really work for humans, but you do look like an idiot.
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As the Owl grows older it develops its flying feathers.
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And oh my, that's cute! He's like a little baby.
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He likes being pet, it's really the eyes isn't it? It's adorable.
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Oh look, this one's playing with his friend.
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Wait, what are you doing to that Bird? Crap! you're not playing.
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Don't try to hide it. I already saw it.
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Despite its cuddly appearance.
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Beneath those fluffy feathers the owl is what we call a bird of prey, because it eats prey.
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Just as the Owls call us apes of the hamburger, because we eat hamburgers.
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The Owl is a specialized hunting machine.
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Its talons are zygodactyl, two in front, two in back, and their grip is the strongest of the raptors.
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500 pounds per square inch.
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Eight times stronger than the human. (Just for the record, this is why we wear gloves.)
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They crush their victims, then tear off little strips before swallowing them whole.
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Digesting them and then vomiting out the bones and fur in a small pellet.
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And this is why it's polite to throw up at an owl dinner party.
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The Owl is a quiet hunter.
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It has specialized feathers on the front of its wings that reduce turbulence and allow it to fly in relative silence.
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If silence were loudness they would be the loudest flying bird.
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That's a terrible metaphor.
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The Owl's face is basically like a giant ear.
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The specialized feathers of its facial disc channel sound to its ear holes, like a fuzzy satellite dish.
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That's nasty, yep that's an earhole.
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Many owls have asymmetrical ear holes; one is higher than the other.
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By sensing tiny differences in the delay in volume of sound as it arrives in each ear.
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The Owl is able to create a three-dimensional auditory map of its surroundings.
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Try riding a bicycle at night and picking up on moving burrito with your feet, based on the sound that it makes.
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That is how an Owl do.
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When they aren't being quiet, Owls make a wide variety of sounds.
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Perhaps the most famous of these sounds is the 'hoo hoo' sound made by some Owls.
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It reminds me of the fairy tale, where a young girl is lost in the forest.
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And she sees an Owl and asked it "do you know where my mother is?"
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And the Owl responds "why the hell would I know where your mother is?"
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“Are you stupid? And why are you fairy tale children always getting lost in forests and hallucinating about animals that can talk?"
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And then the owl swooped down and ripped the little girl's face off and ate her eyeballs.
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And then the owl hooted 'hoo hoo.'
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It's a German fairy tale so its a little dark I guess.
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Maybe it's the translation? Nope not the translation...
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Says right here,"...... rips her face off." Oh god there's even a picture.
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Just remember don't do drugs because an Owl may just rip your face off.