Today we're playing The Sims again.

I'm making myself, finally.

Wow, I never even think about ... I'm making myself.

You know, everyday in life you're making yourself,

but today I'm like actually making myself

into the man I wanna be.

(funky pop music)

- This our town now?

- Yeah, this is where you live now.

- I don't live in the desert anymore.

- No.

- Hey, look. It's Eugene, everybody.

Hey look, everybody. Breathe it in.

People probably made me on the internet, right?

- Yeah. - Let's browse. There's one.

- That's you!

- There's one. I am the fifth most popular

Keith on the Sims. Three. Four. Five. Six.

Tasmaklejaca1. Rolls off the tongue.

This is good. It's the exact stubble I have right now.

The winner of the Keith contest that was not started

officially until now is Tasmaklejaca1.

Congratulations. You will be getting a free

shirt in the mail courtesy of Kelsey Impicciche.

She can't wait to send it to you.

She loves sending gifts to my fans.

Let's tear this face apart.

We need big lips. Perfect.

I wish I was a Kardashian. They seem to have it all.

Here's the thing about my chin.

This side goes lower than this side.

- Wait, yeah.

- People aren't perfect. Not even me.

- Why is this, the bottom of his face, red

like he's been rubbing paper towels on his jaw?

Ooh, he got way sexier after he got

that paper towel rash out of there.

- I want my lips to be bigger. Bigger. Bigger.

- Yeah.

(Keith laughing)

- Let's put some glasses on this guy.

I think that's what's messing us up here.

I think we need just a framework.

(Kelsey laughing)

- This guy is so hot.

I have beautiful, hazel eyes.

Yeah, like that.

Let's make them bigger and wider.

They need to be bigger. A little too big.

A little to anime there.

Oh my God, he's so beautiful.

This is not me, but his guy is hot.

My face is longer than this. Dragging the face down.

Still too hot for me.

(Kelsey laughing)

(Keith grunting) - Oh, there you go

- Actually, that helped. Let's put the glasses back on.

- It almost looks like your College Humor counter ego.

- It does look like Grant. You know why?

He's not smiling. 'Cause you don't see my face.

(Kelsey laughing) - Done.

- Ol' skinny head Habersberger.

(Keith screaming)

- How do people do this?

- From the picture. We have you literally right here.

- No. No. We never used the picture. Oh, the neck.

(Keith breathing)

- Change your eyebrows.

- Into what? - More streaky.

- Yeah. They're like that.

- Like this? - Yeah.

- Like this? (Kelsey laughs)

- Like this? - Yeah.

- Oh this is the worst one I've made.

Why is it so hard? Is it because

his beauty can't be captured in digital form?

- Your forehead's not that big.

The ratio to forehead to chin is about similar.

It's not like this. You're making your head

like more triangle and it's more like an oval.

- Here, you draw it. You do it.

I'm having a crisis now because my face is

so weird looking it can't be recreated digitally. Okay.

- All done. I'm figuring it out.

(Keith humming)

- Making a Keith in The Sims.

- Making his face look normal

'cause it doesn't look normal right now.

Oh my God. Looks different than it did.

- You hate it.

- Well the eyebrows are wrong. How do you make a Keith?

How do you make a Habersberger?

It's one of the great questions in life.

- You know when people put - I'm making it worse.

- Mouths onto photos and then the mouths talk?

That's the way that mouth looks on my face right now.

- You put that mouth on your face.

- You changed my face. You gotta build around the mouth.

And those eyebrows are too little.

I got big 'ol brows. Look at the size of these brows.

I pull out hair sometimes that are 16 inches long.

Right out of my eyebrows. It's like one long thread

that's been woven through my face.

Like when you pull a string on a sweater.

Whole eyebrow unravels.

Kelsey, thicken those eyebrows.

They need to be thick, baby. Not that thick.

Closer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They start a little higher.

- Yeah.

- They've got an inquisitive nature about them.

- Okay. Your eye shape's a little rounder than his.

- Aww, I like it. - It's getting worse.

- Now put glasses on him.

- Okay.

- I think this is gonna be great.

- Sure. We did it everybody. - I'm sorry.

- He's perfect. Now let's change his body around.

- Ow, hot.

- Fit Keith.

- Let's be honest. I do not have this skinny of a tummy.

I'm like a rectangle.

(laughing)

- Look at these feeble, little giraffe legs.

- They kinda look like peg legs.

- I actually have some fucking big calves.

Look at these. Look at these. Look at these calf muscles.

They're huge. You can barely ...

Sometime my pants get stuck on my calves.

Oh this guy's looking pretty good.

I wear jeans now, but I used to never wear jeans.

I liked wearing cargo pants. Those pants are terrible.

There it is. Wow. Wow. Hey!

Hey! It looks like me. Oh wow! Look at me.

It looks too short. How do I make him taller? It's just-

- Unfortunately, in the Sims,

they don't let you change their height.

(Keith sighs) - Whatever

- This is Keith Habersberger.

This is a typical, everyday look.

Blue squares. Hanging out. Not fit. Not fat.

Somewhere in the middle.

Hey, he looks good. A little formal.

Maybe I got a meeting, huh? Maybe I need to

pitch some more fried chicken series

and get the company to pay for my eating habits.

Now let's go sports. Jeez, I sure don't play sports.

Is this what people wear? Great.

Let's move to night time. Sleepy time.

I sleep like Eugene. Only in my underwear.

All the Try Guys, except for Ned,

sleep only in their underwear.

Ned wears an undershirt.

Great. Oh, but wait. I can't nap now.

I gotta go to a party so I'll dress totally fine.

Turns out it's a pool party. Let's rip up some hides.

I am food.

- You're not a friend to the world or a comedy star?

- Oh maybe I am a comedy star.

- I'm a Joke Star, but also I feel like

I'm a Friend of the World.

Do you think I'm a Friend of the World?

And then maybe I'll be a Goofball.

(Avatar speaking Simlish) (Keith laughing)

- That's a good impression of me.

I am a Foodie and let's do ...

(Keith clicking tongue)

Good. Time to move into our house.

Put some clothes on, Eugene.

Let's check everyone's status.

Eugene is fine. Ned is uncomfortable as always.

Zach is at school feeling energized.

And Keith is also feeling energized.

Happy to be home. Happy to talk to his friends.

I'm gonna give Eugene a little pep talk.

I know that Eugene is always a little morose.

And where am I?

- You're on the computer.

- Oh my God. This is so meta.

(Kelsey laughing) - What do you think I'm doing?

- You're playing Sims.

- Look at my face.

Probably making a way hotter version of myself.

Go see Eugene. Oh look at all my (bleep) ideas.

God, I'm brilliant. Good morning, world.

It is I, Keith, just encouraging my friends.

Hey Ned. Hey Eugene. What's going on bud?

Ha, ha. Good to see you. We're friends.

Oh look at this long shot. It's like we're

spying on our neighbors.

What it would look like if we were our neighbors.

What are they doing over there?

Kelsey, don't be too loud. They might see us.

What do you think they're doing over there?

- Well one of them is naked.

- That (bleep) Yang family is ruining the neighborhood.

They moved in here with this big, obnoxious house.

I'm gonna sneak up on them.

(Mischievous mystery music) (Avatars speaking Simlish)

- Oh my God. They're having a great time.

- It looks like you have a ring on.

- Oh, how did it know? Bye, Eugene. I helped you.

- You're the only married Try Guy in the house.

- Oh my God. I'm the married one?

- My wife. My wife. My wife. My wife.

Ned. Let's go cheer up Ned.

The house has been super dysfunctional all this time

and we've never understood why.

It's because I was never there.

I'm the missing link. I'm that little piece

of peace that everyone needs in their life.

- And it's not because you don't know how to play Sims.

- No. No, no, no, no. It's because Keith wasn't there.

Where did Eugene go? Do we have a backyard?

Oh, shit. Eugene! Go swimming. Skinny dip with me.

Ned's talking about garbage.

God, they just never stop, do they?

That, is that? Come home. When do-

Where does he get the nerve to go educate himself?

Not in my house. How do I? How does he come home?

Leave school early. Come home. I need you here.

Look at me. I am naked in the pool.

Eugene is naked grilling. Boy, are we having a good time.

Wow. Keith comes in the house and suddenly it is a party.

We got our dicks out all over the place.

Eugene, no. What are you serving?

Are you serving sausages?

Hey, Zach's home and he's uncomfortable.

He saw Eugene naked. What would Zach do?

He would throw a tantrum because he does not like to see

grown-up, naked men at his dinner table.

Eugene did put on some clothes which is nice.

Here comes Keith totally naked.

And he's just sitting down naked having some food.

(Keith laughing)

All right, Keith. Great work.

Let's have Keith talk to Zach. Make him feel better.

- Oh, no.

- Zach's making a (bleep) mess.

Can I adopt Zach? I'm adopting Zach.

Right off the bat. He's my responsibility now.

Is that all it takes? Any paperwork?

Do I need to wait three to six months?

- He's your dependent now.

- Zach, clean up this mess.

No son of mine is gonna ruin our new carpet.

- Oh, he's cleaning up - Ned's cleaning up

- Ned's got it. Thanks, Bro. Where is Keith?

Keith. Keith. What am I doing?

I never knew how much responsibility

it would be to have a son.

Zach,