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He was a tattoo artist, and he liked us, and he was a little bit older.
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He said, "Hey, listen, I will tattoo you guys for free."
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"You supply the drugs, I'll supply the ink, and let's just do this."
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So, I mean... they just... my...
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We started going in.
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The first night, like, after I got it, I was like, "What have I done?"
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I definitely freaked out about it, and. like, looked up ways to get it removed.
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And, then, I was like...
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But it was just, like, a momentary thing.
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You can't help but think about, "Did I do the right thing? Am I gonna be okay with this?"
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You never know if you're gonna like it.
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But, f**k it.
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There's been times where I'm like, "Yeah, I'm gonna cover that up."
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But I just, I didn't have the money at the time to do it.
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There's a GoFundMe at the bottom, if you, actually... No, I'm just joking.
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Definitely.
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So out of all my tattoos, the only one that I've ever had any doubts with was right after I got it.
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And that was the knee tattoo.
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Uh... and that's because that was my first tattoo.
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I'd like to think that, that's sort of normal.
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No, from the beginning, yeah.
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I'm just like, "I like them, and I never questioned it."
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There's moments where the handwriting looks like if, instead of it.
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But it's fine.
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It's my friends handwriting.
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So I'm like, "It's just who she is."
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That's how she does a T, so.
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It's my ex-girlfriend's handwriting.
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It definitely scares me from other tattoos.
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It's my only one.
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I haven't gotten one since.
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Because I don't want to regret another one.
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So me and all my friends, we were...
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So we knew this guy.
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Long story short.
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He was about to go to jail for a long time.
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He said, "Hey, listen, I will tattoo you guys for free."
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"You supply the drugs."
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"I'll supply the ink, and let's just do this."
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So I was like, "Hey, can you do a totem pole?
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"You know, like totem pole, like Hawaii, like the things?"
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And he's like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got you."
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This guy was a biker guy.
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He had all these skull tattoos.
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And I told him, specifically, I said, "Hey, bro, no skulls."
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You know?
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And he was like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, no skulls," whatever.
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So I laid down.
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And it's right down my spine.
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So he's going in, and I remember walking to the bathroom, looking in the mirror, turning around and looking back and seeing it.
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And my first thought was "That's not a totem pole."
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No, I didn't regret it.
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I looked back, and I laughed cause I was young and immature.
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But at the same time, I'm, like, "I am a different person, now."
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Yeah, I wouldn't do some of the tattoos that I have on my arm.
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I would keep my brothers.
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I'd keep the rose.
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And I'd keep my wife.
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But some of the other ones, I'm just like, "What?"
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You did that out of an impulse.
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You did that to...
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I remember this one artist.
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He was like, "Oh, this is good, but do you want to take some time?"
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And I was like, "No, no, no."
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"This is what I really, really want."
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And I've learned over time, that to just take a step back.
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But you have to go through that.
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Because it makes you, it makes me who I am, today.
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I definitely think in the future of me being a grandma one day, and just having these tattoos, and what that would look like.
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But, also, they're a part of me.
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They're who I am.
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I love them.
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And it just shows that I'm willing to just share my thoughts on my skin, I guess.
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I think regret is wasted energy.
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Because regret is continuing to go back in time which we cannot change.
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You wouldn't be where you are, today, in so many senses if the decision hadn't been made.
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You can't be mad at yourself 10 years down the line if you've evolved into this other person.
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Because that tattoo, that experience, those decisions helped you get to where you are to decide that you no longer like this.
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You wouldn't write a fucking novel, and, then, go back 10 years later, and change one sentence out of that novel.
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This is part of my book.
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You just get to read it.
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I think there's a lot of things that mark you in this world.
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But they don't define you, right?
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You can get as many tattoos as possible.
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But does that really, really define who you are?
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I don't think so.
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For me, it doesn't.