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  • Is this like an anti-establishment thing or something?

  • Britain is an old-fashioned, weird place.

  • Every November, we burn a wooden effigy of a dude who tried to burn down Parliament hundreds of years ago.

  • We turn people we like into Knights.

  • However, the most ridiculous thing that we have is our laws.

  • If you wear a suit of armour in Parliament, they're legally allowed to cut your head off.

  • This is ridiculous.

  • That's not the only dumb British law.

  • We've got tons of them, and I don't even know if anyone takes these things seriously.

  • So today I'm going to test that and try and break as many ancient British laws as possible in one day in front of policemen and hope that I don't get arrested.

  • Do you think that this is a suspicious fish?

  • Oh, definitely.

  • You know, there's a law where it's illegal to handle a salmon suspiciously.

  • I've got the salmon; now I have to act suspiciously with it.

  • He's checking if his car's locked.

  • That's how fucking creepy I look.

  • What've you got a fish for?

  • Does it look suspicious to you?

  • It doesn't look suspicious but it looks interesting.

  • It's not suspicious?

  • Alright I'll I try harder to be more suspicious.

  • The fuck is that?!

  • Ladies and gentlemen, would you like to see a man walking past with a fish?

  • Pointless.

  • You don't know if there's a library nearby do you?

  • Apparently, it's illegal to gamble in a library.

  • So me, stinking of salmon, I'm gonna go and try and make someone bet with me in this library and break that law.

  • Excuse me, do either of you gamble?

  • Yes, gamble, like Blackjack.

  • We don't have to play for money if you don't want to.

  • I've got a Sashimi-quality fish.

  • Excuse me, I've got a great game of Blackjack.

  • Sorry if I smell.

  • How come you're doing this?

  • I'm trying to break as many ancient laws as I can in a day.

  • You going again?

  • Oof, bust, 10p for me.

  • I was gambling in a library!

  • I'm gonna walk right into that building there in a suit of armour.

  • Something that apparently you're supposed to get your head cut off for.

  • - Hi there - Is it a public gallery?

  • Yes!

  • Um, not sure...

  • - If the armour... - You haven't got a real sword have you?

  • No, it's plastic.

  • Sorry, this has never happened!

  • - Have a look at the sign, make sure you don't have any of these. - I definitely don't have any of those

  • Why are you dressed as a knight?

  • I've just been filming around the corner doing a kids TV thing.

  • - Okay - Amazing!

  • I just went into Parliament wearing a suit of armour and I still have a head.

  • Right, next one.

  • You can't shake out a dirty rug in public.

  • And also can't wear an outrageous double ruff.

  • Or be be sock-less within a hundred yards of the Queen.

  • Just shaking the rug.

  • Alright.

  • Wearing a double ruff, being sock-less.

  • Is this like an anti-establishment thing or something?

  • Are you filming now?

  • There's a law against singing a lewd ballad in public.

  • I'm pretty sure Tony Blair lives around here.

  • I'll try and do a bit of improv.

  • Just gonna sing a song.

  • I've written a little song, if that's okay?

  • If you do it on the other side of the road, yeah.

  • Okay.

  • Tony, Tony, how are you today?

  • Tony boy Tony, please come out and play.

  • You look like a marshmallow.

  • Our eyes meet over the piano.

  • Oh, I'd love to nestle my head on your fluffy chest.

  • Tony boy, Tony, come out and play.

  • Well I sang about hooking up with Tony Blair to his window.

  • I guess that's lewd - that's another law broken another off the list.

  • So stupid.

  • I've never been to Downing Street before.

  • 10 Downing Street: residence of the Prime Minister.

Is this like an anti-establishment thing or something?

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B1 UK tony armour suspicious gamble library salmon

I Broke Dumb Laws In Front Of Police

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    Mackenzie posted on 2019/07/04
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