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What could be nicer than enjoying a traditional English afternoon tea?
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But are you doing it correctly?
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Here's my official guide.
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First things first, the napkin.
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Never call that serviette.
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Take it and place it on your lap, with the crease folded towards.
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And next comes the actual drinking tea.
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Always loose leaf tea, please, so you need to use a tea strainer.
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And when it comes to stirring our tea, we go back and forth, back and forth,
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in a 612 motion rather than round and round creating awful racket, splashing,
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and any sugar you have added in will just sit in the bottom rather than dissolve.
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After you've eaten the sandwiches with your fingers, not with a knife and fork,
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then you can move onto the scones, pronounced "scone", not "scoun".
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We don't use a knife to cut into scones.
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We break them with our hands into two, just like served.
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When it comes to layering your scone, you have two options.
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If you are using Cornish clotted cream, then the procedure is that you put the jam on first,
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the cream on last, whereas the Devonian Devonshire clotted cream,
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like the cream that seeps into the scone, and so they put it on first.
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If you're neither Cornish nor Devonian, you can do as you please,
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but never sandwich the two together and eat it as a whole.
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We use a small fork or, sometimes, a pastry fork to eat but up turned in the right hand.
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And when you are finished, make sure you dab your mouth, not wipe.
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My thanks to the Milestone Hotel and, now due to my guide, you know how to have afternoon
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tea the correct way.