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  • Wait, this is the best part right here.

  • Oh, for the love of everything.

  • What's happening?

  • My roommate locked her GD self out of our freaking apartment again, so I have to go back and let her in.

  • Oh, that's so annoying.

  • Sarah does that every week.

  • Also, she never remembers to get toilet paper, ever.

  • You guys are making me happy I do not have roommates right now.

  • Yeah, but I mean, isn't it scary living alone?

  • I would get scared.

  • Yeah, I don't mind being by myself, but like, not having another human around gets kinda creepy.

  • Yeah.

  • Eh, it's not that bad.

  • I like the lonesomeness. It's nice.

  • Really?

  • What's there to like about such an alienated way of living?

  • Well, you guys might not like the idea of your space being occupied by you and only you, but I love that my space is all mine, every corner and every inch of the apartment.

  • When I come in there's no one to be nice to if my day was bad, and I'm the only person I have to deal with.

  • There's only me.

  • On a less grand scale, I do enjoy that my supplies last longer than any of you who have to share with your roommates.

  • I've had the same tube of toothpaste for three months!

  • I can use my bathroom with the door wide open.

  • Gross.

  • Perhaps, gross is that I sometimes leave the dishes in the sink for months on end, and there's no one to get mad at except for me.

  • It's freeing.

  • And I can talk to myself any

  • I'll call Kate; Kate would know.

  • time - S A T E, conversate.

  • I want... -conversate is not a word.

  • It is a word now.

  • No it is not.

  • I can have company whenever I want and kick them out whenever I'd like, and I can hook up whenever I want, or I could not, and I'm the only person who witnesses the sadness in both.

  • Some days I just lay around all day, 'cause there's no one there to catch me.

  • My Netflix queue is all mine.

  • You know what I really like?

  • Sometimes I put on show tunes, and I can blast them as loud as I want.

  • And I can just sing and dance all around the apartment from one end to the other, and it's just bliss.

  • Sounds amazing but what about...

  • Oh, and I can fart!

  • What!

  • Yeah, I can just fart whenever I want and be naked all the time.

  • It's great.

  • That sounds cool.

  • But what about when you forget your keys?

  • Oh.

  • Well then I'm delightfully screwed.

  • Ha, she got you there.

  • I got you there.

  • I got you there.

  • She got it.

  • You might choke on a sandwich by yourself.

  • Has that ever happened to you?

  • You're not wearing pants and you choke on a...

  • Why did you have to include not wearing pants?

  • 'Cause I wasn't wearing pants.

  • That has nothing to do with choking.

Wait, this is the best part right here.

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A2 US apartment choke fart wearing kate gross

The Perks Of Living Alone

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    Ginger Liu posted on 2019/06/14
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