Subtitles section Play video
-
We're here at the Australia Wildlife Walkabout Park.
-
This is Kyana.
-
Is that right? Yeah, yeah.
-
Am I saying it correctly? Kyana, yeah.
-
Oh, so I wasn't saying it correctly.
-
(laughs) Not quite.
-
Can I call you...
-
So it's Key-Anna? Kie-Anna.
-
So it's Karen.
-
Karen? Close.
-
Christine. Kyana.
-
Got it.
-
This is Steven.
-
Well, there's 80 acres of land.
-
80?
-
Yeah, and it's predator-proof fence,
-
so they're safe in here.
-
That's very nice. Yeah.
-
They're safe from the most dangerous predator, man.
-
(dramatic music)
-
So just behind us here are all
-
of our kangaroos and emus. Kangaroos and emus.
-
Actually some of them have babies
-
in their pouches right now.
-
That's actually a little baby tail sticking out
-
of that pouch there. Oh, that's the baby's tail!
-
I don't wanna be rude, but I thought that was an erection.
-
[Kyana] This is a joey kangaroo,
-
so he might even jump back into mum's pouch at that size.
-
[Conan] At that size they get back into the pouch?
-
[Kyana] Yeah.
-
You know, that's a lot of millennials.
-
They move back in
-
when they're like 22, 23. Yeah.
-
Would you like to pat an emu?
-
A what? An emu?
-
Would I like to what?
-
Would you like to pat an emu?
-
You know, I don't get offered that every day.
-
(audience and Kyana laugh)
-
[Kyana] There you go.
-
Let me ask you something.
-
You've got wallabies, kangaroos, emus all together.
-
[Kyana] Yeah.
-
Is there every any intermingling of the species?
-
(laughs) No.
-
There's no emu-roos?
-
(dramatic music)
-
No.
-
Behold, the dreaded Tasmanian devil.
-
It sounds like such a fierce animal,
-
and then you see 'em.
-
It doesn't look very fierce.
-
We're gonna put America's blooper sound effects on this.
-
Doing, doing, doing, doing. (boinging)
-
(upbeat, playful music)
-
The Tasmanian devil.
-
A very, very dangerous animal,
-
but not the most dangerous animal.
-
Definitely not.
-
You know what the most dangerous animal is?
-
Would it be a snake? Man.
-
Can't believe you didn't see that coming.
-
Hello? (Kyana laughs)
-
(bird shrieking)
-
That's not what I said!
-
I said hello! (bird shrieking)
-
Nope, got it wrong again.
-
Hello!
-
Hello!
-
Hello!
-
Hello!
-
Hello!
-
Hello!
-
(bird shrieking)
-
This is the echidna.
-
It has a long, protruding nose.
-
Very thin.
-
The sense I'm getting from this animal
-
is very much like hmm, I don't wanna be a bother.
-
Hmm, I'm doing the best I can.
-
(Conan groans quietly)
-
The male echidna actually has a four-pronged penis.
-
(Kyana laughs)
-
Is that four penises, or one penis with four tips?
-
That's one penis with four tips.
-
Why?
-
Why not?
-
She's good.
-
Four-tipped penis.
-
That's a lot of work if they're Jewish.
-
It's a circumcision joke. (laughs mischievously)
-
Before we meet Tonka, there's just a few things--
-
Tonka the wombat. Tonka the wombat.
-
Yes.
-
Before we meet him, there's a few things
-
we need to understand about wombats.
-
They are inclined to bite on the back of your leg.
-
It's important that you guys actually stand still,
-
because we don't want to encourage him.
-
Because if you're moving and you're playing,
-
he's gonna bite more.
-
You've got to trust Kyana and me
-
(Kyana laughs) to look after Tonka.
-
So what you're saying is when Tonka the wombat
-
attacks and starts biting me,
-
I should remain perfectly still
-
and let him bite more until you two
-
decide it's time to intervene.
-
Exactly.
-
They can actually run up to 45 kilometers an hour.
-
I've just been told not to move,
-
because the wombat may bite the back of my legs.
-
(dramatic music)
-
[Kyana] They're very dense and muscly,
-
and that's one of the reasons they can move so fast.
-
Tonka, they gave us a pretty scary
-
speech before you came out.
-
You look like you're looking for your missing car keys.
-
There he goes, back to slaughter another village.
-
Tonka, the ultimate killing machine.
-
[Audience] Aww!
-
Oh, there's a spider above you, above your head.
-
You were about to walk into it.
-
The spider's dangerous,
-
but not the most dangerous creature.
-
The most dangerous creature is man.
-
So this is Gumnut, our male koala.
-
They eat only eucalyptus leaves,
-
which means they don't get much energy.
-
So they actually sleep about 20 hours every day.
-
Yes, I'm familiar with that phenomenon.
-
Can I talk to you for a second Gumnut?
-
All you eat is eucalyptus, and so you have no energy
-
and you sleep 20 hours a day.
-
So you can't get a job,
-
and that's what's destroying your life.
-
Here's what I'm gonna ask you to do.
-
I want you the try, just try pizza.
-
I want you to try pizza.
-
I know, it's just not my way I suppose.
-
Just not my way.
-
Oh, I'm getting to you now, aren't I?
-
Kids, don't be like Gumnut.
-
Apply yourself, work hard, and stay off the eucalyptus.
-
Yeah.
-
You make me sick.