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  • We're here at the Australia Wildlife Walkabout Park.

  • This is Kyana.

  • Is that right? Yeah, yeah.

  • Am I saying it correctly? Kyana, yeah.

  • Oh, so I wasn't saying it correctly.

  • (laughs) Not quite.

  • Can I call you...

  • So it's Key-Anna? Kie-Anna.

  • So it's Karen.

  • Karen? Close.

  • Christine. Kyana.

  • Got it.

  • This is Steven.

  • Well, there's 80 acres of land.

  • 80?

  • Yeah, and it's predator-proof fence,

  • so they're safe in here.

  • That's very nice. Yeah.

  • They're safe from the most dangerous predator, man.

  • (dramatic music)

  • So just behind us here are all

  • of our kangaroos and emus. Kangaroos and emus.

  • Actually some of them have babies

  • in their pouches right now.

  • That's actually a little baby tail sticking out

  • of that pouch there. Oh, that's the baby's tail!

  • I don't wanna be rude, but I thought that was an erection.

  • [Kyana] This is a joey kangaroo,

  • so he might even jump back into mum's pouch at that size.

  • [Conan] At that size they get back into the pouch?

  • [Kyana] Yeah.

  • You know, that's a lot of millennials.

  • They move back in

  • when they're like 22, 23. Yeah.

  • Would you like to pat an emu?

  • A what? An emu?

  • Would I like to what?

  • Would you like to pat an emu?

  • You know, I don't get offered that every day.

  • (audience and Kyana laugh)

  • [Kyana] There you go.

  • Let me ask you something.

  • You've got wallabies, kangaroos, emus all together.

  • [Kyana] Yeah.

  • Is there every any intermingling of the species?

  • (laughs) No.

  • There's no emu-roos?

  • (dramatic music)

  • No.

  • Behold, the dreaded Tasmanian devil.

  • It sounds like such a fierce animal,

  • and then you see 'em.

  • It doesn't look very fierce.

  • We're gonna put America's blooper sound effects on this.

  • Doing, doing, doing, doing. (boinging)

  • (upbeat, playful music)

  • The Tasmanian devil.

  • A very, very dangerous animal,

  • but not the most dangerous animal.

  • Definitely not.

  • You know what the most dangerous animal is?

  • Would it be a snake? Man.

  • Can't believe you didn't see that coming.

  • Hello? (Kyana laughs)

  • (bird shrieking)

  • That's not what I said!

  • I said hello! (bird shrieking)

  • Nope, got it wrong again.

  • Hello!

  • Hello!

  • Hello!

  • Hello!

  • Hello!

  • Hello!

  • (bird shrieking)

  • This is the echidna.

  • It has a long, protruding nose.

  • Very thin.

  • The sense I'm getting from this animal

  • is very much like hmm, I don't wanna be a bother.

  • Hmm, I'm doing the best I can.

  • (Conan groans quietly)

  • The male echidna actually has a four-pronged penis.

  • (Kyana laughs)

  • Is that four penises, or one penis with four tips?

  • That's one penis with four tips.

  • Why?

  • Why not?

  • She's good.

  • Four-tipped penis.

  • That's a lot of work if they're Jewish.

  • It's a circumcision joke. (laughs mischievously)

  • Before we meet Tonka, there's just a few things--

  • Tonka the wombat. Tonka the wombat.

  • Yes.

  • Before we meet him, there's a few things

  • we need to understand about wombats.

  • They are inclined to bite on the back of your leg.

  • It's important that you guys actually stand still,

  • because we don't want to encourage him.

  • Because if you're moving and you're playing,

  • he's gonna bite more.

  • You've got to trust Kyana and me

  • (Kyana laughs) to look after Tonka.

  • So what you're saying is when Tonka the wombat

  • attacks and starts biting me,

  • I should remain perfectly still

  • and let him bite more until you two

  • decide it's time to intervene.

  • Exactly.

  • They can actually run up to 45 kilometers an hour.

  • I've just been told not to move,

  • because the wombat may bite the back of my legs.

  • (dramatic music)

  • [Kyana] They're very dense and muscly,

  • and that's one of the reasons they can move so fast.

  • Tonka, they gave us a pretty scary

  • speech before you came out.

  • You look like you're looking for your missing car keys.

  • There he goes, back to slaughter another village.

  • Tonka, the ultimate killing machine.

  • [Audience] Aww!

  • Oh, there's a spider above you, above your head.

  • You were about to walk into it.

  • The spider's dangerous,

  • but not the most dangerous creature.

  • The most dangerous creature is man.

  • So this is Gumnut, our male koala.

  • They eat only eucalyptus leaves,

  • which means they don't get much energy.

  • So they actually sleep about 20 hours every day.

  • Yes, I'm familiar with that phenomenon.

  • Can I talk to you for a second Gumnut?

  • All you eat is eucalyptus, and so you have no energy

  • and you sleep 20 hours a day.

  • So you can't get a job,

  • and that's what's destroying your life.

  • Here's what I'm gonna ask you to do.

  • I want you the try, just try pizza.

  • I want you to try pizza.

  • I know, it's just not my way I suppose.

  • Just not my way.

  • Oh, I'm getting to you now, aren't I?

  • Kids, don't be like Gumnut.

  • Apply yourself, work hard, and stay off the eucalyptus.

  • Yeah.

  • You make me sick.

We're here at the Australia Wildlife Walkabout Park.

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B1 AU TeamCoco emu wombat dangerous penis shrieking

Conan Encounters Australian Wildlife - CONAN on TBS

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    wang519812 posted on 2019/04/26
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