Subtitles section Play video
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Hey guys!
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So I was at the gym playing basketball not very long ago.
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And I was pretty much inspired to make this video.
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I witnessed two grown men almost get into a fist fight over who got to play the next game.
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And I was actually going to do a cut away reenacting exactly what happened that night.
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But I feel like this next cut away shows it even better.
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Get over it!
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No!
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It's my turn to swing!
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No!
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It's not your turn, it's my turn!
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No!
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No, I called next!
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Not!
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Yes!
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No!
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If you want next, do something about it.
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Fine, I will!
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*whimpering noises*
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*crying noises*
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No!
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And that's pretty much exactly what happened.
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Grown men acting that immature has got to be one of the most annoying things ever.
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*Ryan jumps up and down the bed giggling*
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And that's why...
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From now on...
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You're looking at the new and improved mature Ryan.
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*claps*
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*silence*
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That was supposed to be the transition...
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You know, going into the next...
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*transition music*
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Yeah, no, this jacket is way too hot to film in so...
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*laugh track in the background*
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Shut up!
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Anyway
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As I was saying
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Grown and immature men are one of the most annoying things ever.
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And don't get me wrong, there's immature girls as well.
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But everyone knows that it's a scientifical fact that women mature faster than guys.
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I think.
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I mean...Take Justin Timberlake for example.
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He's trying to look more mature and trying to be more grown up by doing this whole suit and tie thing.
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But what about Justin Bieber?
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He's trying to change his image as well.
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He's no longer known as that innocent teeny bopper star anymore.
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I mean...He used to be *high pitched* JUSTIN BIEBER!
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But now, he's like *low pitched* Justin Bieber.
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The guy that works out and gets tattoos and gets caught with drugs and posts pictures of himself half naked on Instagram.
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I like 'em. *DOUBLE TAP*
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And seeing all these changes happen, you know...I wanna be cool too.
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I can be mature, I can grow up.
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I can...have the name Justin.
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So for all of you guys that wanna be more mature like me.
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*snicker* 'Cause mature sounds like manure.
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*HAHAHAHA*
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Here's some things I learned while maturing myself up.
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Let's start with the whole reason I started this video.
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Fighting
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See, immature guys always want to fight over everything.
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Whether it's because they can't control their anger or they're trying to prove how tough they are
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it's just really immature.
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See, I can bench press like 45 pounds.
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I mean, I can only bench press like two things, but pretty soon, it's gonna be three. Like, I'm thinking...
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'Sup bro.
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What, you're checking out my girl?
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Yeah, what if I was?
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What, you wanna go right now?
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Let's go.
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Now, take that same situation but with mature guys.
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They'd probably handle that situation in a much more civilized manner.
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What, you're checking out my girl?
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Yeah, what if I was?
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What, you wanna go right now?
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Let's go...where you wanna go?
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Why don't we talk this over some coffee at Starbucks?
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Starbucks is kinda expensive...what about McDonald's?
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McDonald's ain't got no blueberry scones.
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Yeah, but they got 'hella chocolate chip cookies.
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That ain't no blueberry scone 'doe.
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It's the same thing.
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No, it's not.
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Fine, why don't we make a drive-thru stop at McDonald's and meet at Starbucks in 10 minutes?
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Why not?
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Okay.
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Fine.
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Good.
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I'll see you soon.
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Can I catch a ride with you? My car is low on gas!
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HELL YEAH!
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There's nothing wrong with playing video games as long as you manage your time wisely.
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See, if you're immature like how I used to be...
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From personal experience, it probably looks something like this.
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*controller clicking*
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*controller clicking*
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*controller clicking*
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Go Go GOGOGO DAMNNIT
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See, you took so long. Now they're all dead.
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ALL MY BLUEBERRIES!
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See, a mature person would be a lot smarter.
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*sighs* I think we need to stop playing video games.
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Can't be good for our health, you know?
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I mean, what else is there to do though?
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Play video games in real life? Like what?
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Really? Fruit Ninja? I guess it couldn't hurt to try.
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Damn, you alright?
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POOOOR RYAN ;A;
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Immature people listen to immature music.
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*Psy - Gentleman playing*
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But mature people
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We listen to the classics.
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Like the Beatles...or Queen...or Jerry (?)...or OPPA GANGNAM STYLE
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Mature men have mature diets. It's important to eat healthy when you're a grown man.
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Hey man! I'm actually headed to the store right now. You need anything?
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Nah, I'm good, dude.
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Alright.
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Oh, actually, can you pick me up a hot pocket?
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Just like the pizza one.
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Yeah, sure.
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Actually, you know what...just give me a whole box of those.
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Okay.
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And while you're there, can you pick me up some Top Ramen? The chicken and the beef...and oh, if they have the spicy one, can you get that too?
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OH, ah, while you're there, you should get me some Sun Chips, SUN CHIPS, just get me like 2...3 bags
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I should probably write this down.
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Oh, PRETZELS, lots of pretzels. Mustard pretzels.
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Wait, s-slow down.
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I don't know if they still have that, if not, just get some pretzels and then just get some mustard.
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Wait...w-what was the one before that?
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Oh, speaking of mustard, can you get me like 2 or 3...30 boxes of pop tarts?
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Serious right now?
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The cinnamon ones...and then maybe like 20 blueberries...20 strawberries. I don't know, you can mix 'em up.
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Ketchup chips...those are so bomb.
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I don't know if we got them here 'cause it-it's in Canada but if you're stopping by...
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Canada...
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That'd be nice...
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Maybe some Cheetos?
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Hot Cheetos? Takis...TAKIS. Hot Cheetos and Takis. Let's get that 'cause we can do like the song.
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You need anything else, Prince Ryan?
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*nods nods* SKITTLES. Lots of Skittles. Starbursts. Pickles. Detergent. OH! 2 liter bottle of Pepsi.
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*scoffs* Whatever...
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Sounds good.
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Actually, now that I think about it...That sounds kinda unhealthy.
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DIET PEPSI! AND HOT POCKETS!
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It may have been entertaining in the past but GROW UP.
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Real men don't watch cartoons.
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Hey, do you watch Naruto?
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*scoffs* I don't know, do you?
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I don't know, do you?
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I mean, I guess, like sometimes, like...
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Likeeeee.
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EVERY THURSDAY NIGHT AT 12 AM WHEN IT FIRST COMES OUT ONLINE
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NARUTO
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So...you do watch it then.
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Yeah, every now and then.
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Hey, do you watch Naruto?
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*scoffs* NO!
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What am I? Some kind of ten-year old to you? What kind of question is that anyway? What are you trying to say...
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That I'm immature? That I'm the kind of immature guy that would watch cartoons.
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*inaudible* I can show you (?)
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Get a life! GROW UP!
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READ A BOOK!
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*sighs*
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HEEHEEHEEHEEHEE
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Ah, Sakura, you're such a whore.
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The number one way to spot an immature person is by what they find funny.
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If you wanna be real mature, you must never again make any
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FART JOKES
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*uninterested audience*
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*FART*
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*audience laughter*
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SEX JOKES
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*shows the number 66*
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*uninterested audience*
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*turning the number 66 into 69*
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*audience laughter*
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FAT JOKES
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Your ma...Your mama's so fat
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that when she sat in the chair, it broke.
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*crickets*
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And, of course, the most immature...
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PENIS JOKES
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*crickets*
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*Ryan showing to the audience a banana*
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*Ryan peels the banana*
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*Ryan attempts to swallow the banana*
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*audience laughter*
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Okay, so honestly I exaggerated all these examples.
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But you know what I'm trying to say.
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At some point in time, all you immature guys out there
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need to grow up.
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Yeah, I'm a guy too, so I understand how fun video games are
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and how funny penis jokes and fart jokes can be.
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But the fact of the matter is, and the real reason I made this video, is because...
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I'm getting older and I'm tired of being called immature in real life, so...
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If you're looking for any more cheap laughs, o-or immature comedy...I suggest you look somewhere else.
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*Camera zoomed out*
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*Ryan walking towards a chair in front of a TV with a video game open on it*
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*Ryan is siting down*
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*Unpausing FarmVille*
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Oh yeah, I'm thinking about starting a gaming channel.
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*CHAIR CRASHES*
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PENIS. TEE HEE *toot*