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  • TONIGHT, AS YOU MAY KNOW, OUR

  • PRESIDENT TONIGHT, DONALD

  • JITTERBUG TRUMP ADDRESSED THE

  • NATION FROM THE OVAL OFFICE.

  • THIS WAS HIS FIRST OIVAL OFFICE

  • ADDRESS.

  • HE HAD BEEN USING IT FOR

  • KARDASHIAN MEET AND GREETS.

  • HE GOT VERY SERIOUS, ALL THE

  • MAJOR NETWORKS COVERED IT LIVE

  • FOR GOOD REASON.

  • THEY INTERRUPTED PRIME TIME

  • TELEVISION TO TELL US ABOUT A

  • COMPLETELY MADE-UP THING.

  • HIS SPEECH WAS WEABOUT TEN MINUT

  • LONG, WHICH ACCORDING TO STORMY

  • DANIELS WAS ABOUT EIGHT MINUTES

  • LONGER.

  • WHY IT NEEDS TO BE ON ALL THE

  • CHANNELS AT ONCE, I DON'T NOW.

  • BUT MUCH OF THE DEBATE IN THIS

  • CASE CENTERED AROUND WHETHER OR

  • NOT IT IS APPROPRIATE TO GIVE

  • THE PRESIDENT A FORUM TO LIE TO

  • US ON TELEVISION.

  • FOR REAL.

  • WHAT THEY DID, AND I THOUGHT

  • THIS WAS INTERESTING.

  • EACH NETWORK DECIDED THEY WOULD

  • RUN THE SPEECH, BUT WITH A

  • DISCLAIMER FIRST.

  • >> THE FOLLOWING PRESIDENTIAL

  • ARREST

  • ADDRESS IS A WORK OF FICTION.

  • ALL PERSONALITIES, EVENTS AND

  • LOCATIONS AND FACTS WERE PULLED

  • DIRECTLY FROM THE PRESIDENT'S

  • ASS.

  • >> HE DID NOT MAKE MENTION OF

  • THE CARAVAN THAT WAS COMING TO

  • GET US THREE MONTHS AGO, I DON'T

  • KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT, BUT

  • I GUESS IT DISAPPEARED WHEN THE

  • ELECTION WAS DONE, BUT HE DOES

  • WANT US TO BELIEVE THERE'S A

  • CRISIS AT THE BORDER BESIDES THE

  • ONE HE CREATED.

  • HE DESPERATELY WANTS US TO BE

  • WORRIED ABOUT THE BORDER.

  • HERE'S THE MISTAKE HE'S MAKING

  • ON THIS.

  • IF YOU'RE DONALD TRUMP, GOD

  • FORBID, IF YOU'RE DONALD TRUMP

  • AND YOU MAKE A CAMPAIGN PROMISE

  • TO BUILD A WALL, AND THEN YOU

  • DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD TO FULFILL

  • IT AND YOU GET PEOPLE PANICKED

  • ENOUGH TO WASTE $5 MILLION ON

  • IT.

  • TELLING PEOPLE WE HAVE BAD

  • HOMBRES SNEAKING ACROSS THE

  • BORDER.

  • IF YOU WANT A BORDER CRISIS,

  • MAKE IT A SCARY BOARD CRISIS.

  • DON'T SAY THEY'RE ILLEGAL

  • IMMIGRANTS, SAY IT'S AN ARMY OF

  • CHUPACABRAS, THEY HAVE RED EYES,

  • SHARP CLAWS.

  • IF WE DON'T STOP THEM, THEY'RE

  • GOING TO EAT OUR CHILDREN.

  • THAT'S HOW YOU GET PEOPLE FIRED

  • UP.

  • YOU WANT A WALL, YOU WANT TO

  • BUILD A WALL, THIS IS HOW YOU DO

  • IT.

  • >> OVER THE YEARS, THOUSANDS OF

  • AMERICANS HAVE BEEN BRUTALLY

  • KILLED.

  • >> BY CHUPACABRA.

  • >> Jimmy: IF I HEAR THAT, I'LL

  • HELP BUILD THE WALL MYSELF.

  • BUT I'M SORRY I INTERRUPTED, MR.

  • PRESIDENT, GO ON.

  • >> SOME HAVE SUGGESTED A BARRIER

  • IS IMMORAL.

  • THEN WHY DO WEALTHY POLITICIANS

  • BUILD WALLS, FENCES AND GET AS

  • AROUND THEIR HOMES?

  • THEY DON'T BUILD WALLS BECAUSE

  • THEY HATE THE PEOPLE ON THE

  • OUTSIDE, BUT BECAUSE THEY LOVE

  • THE PEOPLE ON THE INSIDE.

  • >> Jimmy: OH, I SEE.

  • IT'S THE SAME REASON WE BEAT A

  • PINATA WITH A STICK.

  • IT'S NOT BECAUSE WE HATE WHAT'S

  • ON THE OUTSIDE.

  • WE WANT CANDY.

  • HE ALMOST SEEMED SEDATED, LIKE

  • SOMEBODY SLIPPED A XANAX IN HIS

  • McFLURRY.

  • HE DID HIS LEAST FAVORITE THING,

  • WHICH IS READING.

  • ILLEGAL BORDER CROSSINGS ARE AT

  • THEIR LOWEST LEVEL IN MANY

  • YEARS, BUT THERE ARE STILL

  • PEOPLE SNEAKING ACROSS OUR

  • BORDER, AND THIS IS HOW THEY DO

  • IT.

  • YOU SEE HERE THIS VIDEO.

  • YOU DON'T GO OVER THE BARRIER.

  • YOU GO UNDER IT.

  • YOU TUNNEL UNDER THE BORDER, AND

  • THAT, YOU CAN SEE THE PILATES

  • HAS REALLY PAID OFF.

  • WHY THEY'RE --

  • [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

  • I HAVEN'T SEEN THAT MUCH CRACK

  • ON THE SUBWAY SINCE 1985.

  • THANK YOU.

  • AFTER THE PRESIDENT'S SPEECH,

  • CHUCK SCHUMER AND NANCY PELOSI

  • GAVE THE REBUTTAL FOR THE

  • DEMOCRATS, AND THESE TWO, I

  • DON'T KNOW HOW MANY YEARS RYAN

  • AND KELLY HAVE ON THEIR

  • CONTRACT, BUT IF NANCY AND CHUCK

  • EVER DECIDE TO TEAM UP AND DO A

  • SHOW, SOMEBODY NEEDS TO GET

  • GILLMAN ON THE PHONE BECAUSE

  • THEY ARE TERRIFIC.

  • >> I APPRECIATE THE OPPORTUNITY

  • TO SPEAK DIRECT LIBLY TO THE

  • AMERICAN PEOPLE TONIGHT ABOUT

  • HOW WE CAN END THIS SHUTDOWN.

TONIGHT, AS YOU MAY KNOW, OUR

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B1 US JimmyKimmel border president trump jimmy build

Jimmy Kimmel Responds to Trump's Presidential Address

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    Jingjiang Li posted on 2019/02/01
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